A new start for Mooloo

Savvy_sewing

True followers of my plight will know that I have done everything possible to care for my family, before the babies as well as after them.
They were born with problems, they didnt just become a problem through teenage indifference, or drug missuse, or alcohol etc. Its nothing we can click our fingers and find a cure, or a solution.
We cannot violate thier "human rights" and I would not want too. I have tried to give them the best start in life that I could, that includes both my children and my grandchildren.

On Friday although I was not allowed in on the court case, the solicitor did take out some time to tell me what is going on. I also surprisingly got to talk to the grandfather of DGS1, who sometimes talks, sometimes ignores. From thier perspective they want the custody of DGS1, and if that means they have to take on the baby, they are considering it. (This scares me, as their aim is for their son (the one who used to be on drugs etc, etc and who'shair strand test still proves he is still dabbling in cannabis), to live with them, and to bring up his son in thier house). This young man doesnt see t baby, just his own son, and when asked about the baby, has often called him "it" and due to this I fear that if they did take DGS2 just to keep DGS1, that DGS2 may be treated differently.
The courts are asking for many phsyciatric tests to be done, on all the relevant people including the grandchildren, and they estimate that this will take us through until about April nxt year! So now we wait for the reletative professionals to be consulted, etc, and they have to go back to court in October, to inform the courts asto the wheres and whens and whos.etc.
The DNA of the second child confirms the correct father was named on the Birthcertificate, and that the previous partner to twin2 is the father. That he has deserted her. He was supposed to be at court, as he has also now applied for custody of DGS2, with his new fiancee!!!! Who has never ever even seen the baby!!! ITS COMPLETELY SCAREY.
I found a photograph lastnight of Twin2 on holidays in 2004 (whenI had my stroke), and in the picture staring back at me is her current boyfriend.! I was really stopped in my tracks, as I realised that I was so ill on that holiday that I didnt leave the chalet,bar once, and didnt even know who they were meeting with. It also made me realise that maybe he is the one for her?We can but hope.

I have been to see my BF for the weekend, with DGD, and he was completely marvelous with her, and for me. He was kind and considerate, which I hadnt noticed in him in a while. Maybe he always was, but I was overloaded with so much negativity that I didnt see it, or feel it.
When I needed to go into the towncentre, he drove up as close as possible to the shops I needed, and dropped me, coming back for me when I was ready, and taking DGD with him to shop where he needed to go.
When he went to pick up his daughter Saturday, he also took DGD with him, allowing me to go for a sleep. Yesterday he played with her and dug out his childrens lego from the garage, for her to play with.

I didnt want to come home. The place is a mess, as we turned it upsidedown looking for DS's Exam Certificates. He needed them today for college.
I am not sure what is going to happen as we couldnt find it.

I have taken him this morning, and I am now exhausted. I "took a turn" last night. Around 7.30 as I was reading DGD's bedtime story. I had to retire to bed immediately. I was disorrientated, and I think the stress of searching still again, for 3 hours to no avail had become too much for me.

SEP that I was taking onboard, someone elses stresses, and problems that I shouldnt have had to take onboard was litterally weighing me down. I realised immediately what it was.
Alas the nuclear fall out, in the form of the mess around me, is giving me palpitations!
I want to declutter!! I need to declutter. Its making me ill (worse).

I am going to make a cup of tea, and just motivate myself again. I cannot do it all. So I must just calm myself down. Then start slowly and methodically,remembering to salvege my Spoons where ever possibe.!

Errata

I "took a turn" last night. Around 7.30 as I was reading DGD's bedtime story. I had to retire to bed immediately. I was disorrientated

Perhaps this is something you would want to talk to your GP about quite soon in view of your previous stroke ? It certainly seems that something went haywire and it would be sensible to find out what exactly it was/is.
Good to hear you had a good weekend otherwise.

shaz_mum_of__2

I agree mooloo mention your dizzy spell to doc it may just be your meds or stress but best checked out , pleased you had a nice time at BF's .

Jo4

Please make an ap to see your Dr asap!

Savvy_sewing

Jo4 wrote: »

Please make an ap to see your Dr asap!

I will call up for an appointment, but I am sure that it is just stress manifesting itself!.

BF has just called to confirm our holiday accommodation is booked.

Savvy_sewing

There are no appointments this week with my doctor. I could see a different one, but I would rather not. Its too difficult to explain my stresses etc, stresses me out even more.
Twin1 has just dragged me into her problems, as she cannot call jobcentre herself. Spent hours on the phone. Cannot get through to any of the people I need to speak too. Meanwhile DGD has destroyed the rest of the sittingroom, with the floor now littered with the contents of the penny pot and her ty box!
STRESSED!!!
Calm down, and carry on. I know. It will all be better tomorrow. Or in the morning, or what ever the saying is!.

minimoneysaver

Won't the college already have his exam results on record from when he was last there and enrolled on the apprenticeship? I wouldn't worry too much about it as I'm sure his last school may also have a copy too. If he makes a couple of phone calls to those places and anywhere else that he may have taken it, (jobs etc) he'll be able to find a copy.
As for the palpatations, I really think that you need to calm down. It sounds like you've had a fantastic weekend and suddenly it all went haywire. You've got a lot on your plate at the moment and you don't need to add to it, (but I know you already know that). It'll all come good and I'm sure that social services will do what is best for your grandchildren. Did you ask or did your solicitor mention if you get to have any input at all? x

crutches

(((((((((((((hugs Mooloo and deep breaths)))))))))))))

clairehi

Mooloo wrote: »

I want to declutter!! I need to declutter. Its making me ill (worse).

I am going to make a cup of tea, and just motivate myself again. I cannot do it all. So I must just calm myself down. Then start slowly and methodically,remembering to salvege my Spoons where ever possibe.!

Hi Mooloo sorry to hear you are not feeling too good. Please don't feel you have to explain/justify yourself to us on here, eh.

Re the decluttering, it gets me down as well. Definitely have a cup of tea and calm down first. The Flylady has some good advice about starting small (like the sink shining thing - if you follow it you'll know what I mean) - pick on something small and achievable to do which will make you feel better when you look at it. Try and remember all your achievements, all the lovely crafty things you have made for example, dont just focus on all the stuff you havent done yet.

I realise that in the scheme of things a bit of mess may not seem important, but hope this helps a little bit.

Savvy_sewing

clairehi wrote: »

Hi Mooloo sorry to hear you are not feeling too good. Please don't feel you have to explain/justify yourself to us on here, eh.

Re the decluttering, it gets me down as well. Definitely have a cup of tea and calm down first. The Flylady has some good advice about starting small (like the sink shining thing - if you follow it you'll know what I mean) - pick on something small and achievable to do which will make you feel better when you look at it. Try and remember all your achievements, all the lovely crafty things you have made for example, dont just focus on all the stuff you havent done yet.

I realise that in the scheme of things a bit of mess may not seem important, but hope this helps a little bit.

I think that the stress of the mess is what has added to my problems. I used to be a very organised person, and then ill health etc I have become a clutterbug! I have put things off as not so important in the grand scheme of things. But now they are the grandscheme problems.
Tomorrow I will just have to rise to the challenge. DS has just reminded me that one of his friends from Oxford is coming to stay tomorrow. (One of the girls) So I really must rally him to help!
That task is not going to be easy, even with his friend coming!.

I am too tired today to deal with anything else. I have been hanging on the phone from about 10.30 till 2.30 for different government departments, and hospitals etc. Exhausting in it self.

I shall be getting as early an night as it is possible, and hope that I will be able to achieve. Bearing in mind DGD has nursery, the car has to be MOTed and this girl will need picking up from the town.:eek: I am sure I said Wednesday would be better!