A new start for Mooloo

gizmo111

mommame wrote: »

I would have said good old social services myself,they have absolutely no continuity regarding the handling of cases, it seems to be a case of if mr decision maker has had a barney with the wife this morning or if he has had a s88g fest all weekend weteher you get to keep your kids this week or not.
Not a fan of Daily mail myself but someone has to fight these poor peoples corner with them.

Mr Decision Maker is actuallly a Judge.
These poor people have access to legal advice and representation whilst the case is ongoing.

MatyMoo wrote: »

So Gizmo are you saying that there is no truth to this or any other story in the Daily Mail?

The DM picks stories and then goes on to slate social services and the childcare system making out that social workers pick an choose children to remove and never mention the long process that would have been gone through before any final plans were agreed in court. They of course can print what they like from the parents side and we are not able to reply due to confidentiallity.

I know Social Services have had a rough time of it since baby P and it can't be an easy job to do but sometimes I do wonder if they are too quick to take children away rather than work with families that are really trying as appears to be the case here (although I appreciate that we are probably getting a biased view). Or why they don't seem to take action in cases where it is obvious to those around that there is a real problem (like a couple of examples above).

Each case is different and it will always be true to say that the neighbours after making the referal will have no idea what services have been put in place or what the plan for the children will be. It is a very rare case where children are removed immediately - the family must be given the chance to be assessed and improve their care of the children. If after a time evidence shows that this has not happened then legal advice will be sought and the parents given a further period of time to improve before proceedings are initiated. There are obviously exceptions with DV, abuse and police intervention.

I also wonder if it depends upon the area you live in and the way the resources are shared out as to what help is available to help families in need - a bit like in one area you can get a certain treatment on the NHS and in another area you can't in the medical field.

I think possibly in some rural areas there will be lack of resources - family centres etc, but we have a legal framework as well as policy and procedures to adhere to which are national. Although it is likely that some inner city areas have higher thresholds to define what is appropriate etc.

I really am not trying to have a go, I am genuinely interested to hear your take on it.

I'll try my best to answer.

Oh for a world where no children are in danger whether it is through poverty, neglect, abuse or illness. (I know I am being incredibly naive saying that, but I can live in hope).

Sorry to hijack Mooloo's thread.

That would be lovely.

But back to the daily mail and the foced adoption, for a child to be adopted there would have been a series of child protection conferences, followed by care proceedings which would have involved most likely a phsycologist report on the parents, placement with the wider family would have been explored, an independent panel would have agreed that it was suitable for the child to be adopted, a court hearing for the agreement on adoption would have been held with the parents represented and called as witnesses, then a judge would have made the final decision, this would have taken around 18 months from issuing of proceedings. Reading the DM article it seems that this mother had SS involvement for around 9 years before the adoption took place - so would have had ample opportunity to change so that her children remained with her. The DM will of course print the mothers view that she did nothing to warrant her children being taken away or adopted, but fact is a whole bunch of people including a judge will have assessed her and decided differently - based on evidence from medical, police and education records as well as assessments from social workers and other professionals. I feel for the adoptive parents who have been bought publicly into this and made out to be the villians.

Local Authorities no longer have monetary reward for meeting adoption targets, however the targets remain. The thinking behind this is that children need to have a permenancy plan and research shows us that foster placements break down, children feel the stigma of being in care and naturally want their own family. Who would want say a year old baby to be condemned to a life of care that involved social workers visiting, meetings etc, foster carers who can and do give 28 notice, as opposed to being adopted in a loving family. On average a child will have 5 placements in 10 years of care.

Removing children from their family is not an emotionally easy task and after doing it many many times, I still come home and shed a tear and hug my children twice as hard as I would normally, my colleagues are the same. I have taken childen to foster care literally screaming and kicking and the only thing that keeps me going is when I see a year or so later how much their lives have improved. I have had children say to me they would rather be home and hit every day than not be there with their mum and dad. Its not an easy job but not one I take lightly. Over the years I have had many letters/pictures/cards from children thanking me for helping them to be safe - this makes it all worthwhile.

I doubt we'll ever get it 100% right, but for now we can continue to protect the most vulnerable children in our society best we can, and if that means upsetting the parents then so be it. They will without a shadow of doubt been given the opportunity and support that if accepted would have allowed them to keep their children at home with them.

minimoneysaver

The 'Thanks' button is not enough. Thanks for doing such a great job to protect the children Gizmo. This country needs many more people like you. x

minimoneysaver

Mooloo, good luck to you and twin 2 tomorrow. I hope you get an outcome that you wish for. x

MatyMoo

Thanks for responding Gizmo, this had a more emotional impact on me than the DM article because I really know it comes from the heart. You do a difficult job every single day and I have no doubt that you make some heartbreaking decisions, knowing that there is a better future out there.

Thank you for everything you do to keep our children safe and for everything you have done and continue to do for Mooloo. I know that she appreciates it but I appreciate it too. Every guiding or questioing comment you put on here for her I give a silent cheer that, in addition to all the support she gets from friends on here, she gets some brilliant professional advice too.

Again, thank you :T

mommame

Oh dearest mooloo the last thing I wanted to do is upset you or make you frightened,in my clumsey way I was trying to arm you with as much ammo as possible to in turn help the girls,it was really the facebook page I thought might give you some help.
Also Gizmo I also never intended to upset you either as I know you have been a tower of strength to mooloo and her family from the outset and she would be lost without your guidence.
Really sorry if I upset anyone here as this was not my intention at all,I just dont stop to think sometimes.
Good luck tomorrow mooloo and hope all works out ok.

Molly41

Mooloo - we are thinking of you and yours today xx

MatyMoo

Mooloo wrote: »

Talking of my boys, there is a sudden notification of a court case tomorrow afternoon, and so I am going to be driving twin2 to this as she has asked me.
I could have used the Someone Elses Problem, but at such short notice, I cannot be that cruel.

Errata wrote: »

It's not a 'fetch me, carry me' request, and perhaps she needs the comfort of mum by her side tomorrow.

I agree with Errata, as a Mum & granny it is something you have to do.

I hope the day goes well......

Savvy_sewing

OK, so now I am sitting here in tears! Updating on yesterday.
I know that what Gizmo is saying is true. My daughters had Social Services involved, in twin 2 's case since 5 months before DGS1 was born. We all tried to help her to organise her life, and DS and I gave up our flat, I sacrificed my job, have put a terrible strain on my relationships and continue to try to get her, and also now her sister, to "see sense", but to no avail.
I want a miracle to happen, the light to switch on, and to see the boys back home. But to be brutally honest, I think that the boys will have a better life if they have someone caring for them who can firstly look after themselves, and secondly have the capacity to provide and care for the boys.
There is no doubt that my daughters love thier children. But that is totally different, I have come to learn, over the last year. It breaks my heart that I cannot take the boys in too, so as to keep the family together, but alas unless I lived in a mansion and could afford to have Nannies and Nursery places I would not cope either.
Some people, including my girls do not have the same capacity for understanding, and this can manefest in unintentional neglect.
Running out of electric for the meter, the day they received benefit because the two weeks benefit has gone on shopping, is a prime example of the lack of organisational skills. Leaving the food just bought to go off as the fridge and freezer will need electricity. The cooker will not work, and the food cannot be eaten!. Its a roller coaster effect. Now add the need to wash, clean and do all other basic tasks, is just an example of what happens when the food is bought before the electric is!

This has happened to both the twins often. Therefore I have intervened and helped out, not becuase I really wanted to, but becuase of the repurcusions when I do not help. It would cost me more in the longrun then the few quid for the electric. ITs not that they deliberately do it, they just dont understand the way money works, and cannot budget.
When the children were with the twins then I paid out more, as I would be covering for nappies and food.
I no longer help them as much, as thier needs are less, but even twin2 who has a new BF who seems to be easier to organise, cannot budget properly and do not have contingency plans.
They think that Social Services are wrong, that they love thier children and would never harm them, but to bring them up in such haphazard ways, is not suitable, and i have learnt to accept that there is nothing more I can do. Mums would have changed if they could. But they do not have the capacity.

Now explanatons over, dispite the inept way some of our dealings with Social Services have been, the ulitimate decision that the children had to be removed was in hindsight, the best decision. For the children. Not the parents, but for the children. Exactly what SS are for. The children.

shaz_mum_of__2

Good luck later Mooloo you know where i am

Shaz

SDG31000

The best of luck Mooloo. I'm thinking of you and yours today xxx