A new start for Mooloo

Savvy_sewing

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Mooloo, it sounds as if you have started to get the hang of this 'No' word. Keep up the good work!

You have been on the receiving end of the SEP field - Someone Else's Problem - as set out most memorably by Douglas Adams in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy books. If something is in an SEP field, you can't see it, therefore effectively it doesn't exist!

Now you need to grasp this idea for yourself. It's not your problem that your son didn't think ahead, for example, so you don't have to even 'see' that problem, and if you can't see it, you certainly don't have to do anything about it, and definitely not worry about it!

Oh Sue, if only I can carry on that way. To be able to stop worrying about their problems would be so much of a bonus in life.
I do find that when I am at my BF's I do tend to "switch" off from the rest of the families problems, a lot easier then i do here at home, closer to them.

I am trying to say that I am not going to go out of my way for them anymore.
It will be interesting to see how Twin1 manages today. She has to go and sign on, and doesnt have the funds. Dispite me telling her that she needs to keep the bus fare back. (I tell them all this every week, but it falls on deaf ears.).
I have declined taking her to sign on, told her to borrow it off of one of her friends. (If she has any these days).

We are expecting a new social worker to visit us today. Hopefully she will be working towards some of the goals that were set out in the chairpersons meeting nearly two months ago.
Then tomorrow the fostering social worker is coming back. So I need to finish my list of addresses, and the list of schools I attended.
(why they need to know what/where I lived as a child is beyond me, I had to call my parents in france and ask for some help.
So far the list has 35 addresses, and 4 areas, to fill in.
so I am right in the fact that this is my 39th home.
Schools before the age of 9 are a problem. I cannot remember them, and as there were 3 of us children, my Mum and Dad cannot remember either.
Then we go to jobs. Thats awkward, as I was self employed for a lot of the time. I have had several small businesses as I supported the children. It was easier to work for myself then it was an employer, having 4 children to bring up,. and especially with the problems the twins had.
Anyway. Most of it is drafted up as best as I can.

thorsoak

Well done Mooloo for staying firm with Twin 1 - and good luck with the Social worker!

SDG31000

I'm glad that some of your weekend was stressfree Mooloo. The bbq sounds like a very good idea and lots of fun in a moneysaving way Well done with standing firm with the family, you are doing a great job. I hope the visit with the social worker goes well today. Good luck.

whiteguineapig

a big well done from me as well , i have not heard of a sep but it definatly fits
try to keep backing off, let them live their own lives if you can

Savvy_sewing

My aim is to claim back our days. Then I want to be doing my sewing/knitting etc. I have so many ideas in my mind of things to do, and had so much inspiration from some of the other threads on here, with links to so many blogs.
I think I will need Photographic lessons, so I can take decent pictures. Then perhaps Mooloo will launch properly. Out of the ashes of the mess of life, there is a spark of enthusiasm still inside me. I may not be able to make wedding dresses anymore, but I can make little bits and pieces for fun, and using up the fabrics that I have weasled away when I have been charity shop hunting, and from the clothes etc that are lying around the house, and no longer needed in thier present form.
If the Social Worker can gain some financial help with the Nursery, then I would like to be able to put DGD in for one more day, or two mornings, etc so that I can put time to my hobbies.

There is a new market stall starting in the village, not sure if I have mentioned it. But I can try to sell my makes there. They start this weekend so I want to have an assortment of things to put on their stall.
Gosh look at the time I have to go.

Keeping_Motivated

Mooloo wrote: »

Dispite me telling her that she needs to keep the bus fare back. (I tell them all this every week, but it falls on deaf ears.).

It falls on deaf ears because they have 'always' known that they can fall back on you and do not believe you when you threaten not to help if they spend the money that they needed for a necessity.

So it is 'their' resonsibility to start keeping money by for necessities but it is YOUR responsibility to stick at your word so they start believing you.

Without sounding harsh I am trying to say that some of the responsibility lies with you not just them if that makes sense.

Hope all goes well with the SW today.

whiteguineapig

i agree , and it will take them a while , you will have to just keep saying no

Savvy_sewing

I was surprised to see that the Fostering Social Worker came today, as well as DGD's new worker. They were talking about what was in place. Well as we all know nothing is inplace.
they are going to see if they can find some funding to cover some of DGD's nursery fees. As the cost is a substancial part of my Fostering Allowance.
The Fostering worker is coming back tomorrow to do the assessments on me. She has taken my driving license, Passport and other i.d. feel a bit vunerable without them! Daft that isnt it.
My lists need to be legiable and done for tomorrow.
The other worker is going to read up on the case, see what has been done, and try and fill in the gaps.
We will hope that they will come up with a proper care plan etc etc etc.
Meanwhile I am trying to find out whats next with my health.
I missed a phone call from the Adult Care management team. So I will have to call them back now. (iI did try but the woman was in a meeting. )

I havent heard anything else from the rest of the family.

floss2

Mooloo wrote: »

....I havent heard anything else from the rest of the family.

Mooloo, that may become a common occurrence - they may think they are "punishing" you for saying "no" by not calling you.

Savvy_sewing

floss2 wrote: »

Mooloo, that may become a common occurrence - they may think they are "punishing" you for saying "no" by not calling you.

Well that kind of Punishment is fine. Peace and quite.
I only had one call over the weekend, which even BF pointed out that they are contacting me less and less.
Twin2 has her BF now, so she only contacts me when she wants something.
Twin1 does sometimes contact just to speak to DGD, but thats becoming less often. Its usually when she wants something.

I have just had the Duty Care Management person on the phone, for what help I may or may not be entitled too.
Once again, I am not bad enough as yet for the help, and too young for the age concern referals apparantly.
If I want to have help with the cleaning then I have got to pay privately for that.
They say that we can see what the Occupational Therapist can do about helping me with aids around the home. But as its a private rented they are not sure about that.
Then it was am I on the list to Housing for a Bungalow. Well I dont think I am, and i dont think that I am priority for a bungalow as I can do the stairs etc, be it with difficulty by the end of the day etc.

got to go again DGD disappearing into the kitchen