A new start for Mooloo

Savvy_sewing

daska wrote: »

Yes, sorry, my urging you to get advice was mainly to make sure you were fully and accurately informed, not to expedite something which wouldn't be appropriate. I'm not an expert in the different kinds of funding available to different kinds of carers but I do know that social workers can be pressured into using the cheapest solution, even if it isn't the most appropriate. Speaking as a step-mum I have to say that having a residency and contact order for DSD can be as much a millstone around our necks as it is the NRPs.

Thats my fear! Being pushed. I am already pushed to the limits with what Social services are saying to me, and have expected me to do over the last 2 and a half years!.
DGD is not sleeping, now wrecking the bedroom by the sounds of it, so time to go again.!

Savvy_sewing

MY ARMAGHEDAN IS HERE
This afternoon I went to visit Twin2, and when I arrived it was a mess. There were about 6 youths there, there were glasses around, and it was obvious that there had been smoking in the house.
I kicked them all out, had words with her and her new Bf, telling them that if she is not careful the SS will take the kids.!
I wish i had never said it. Apparantly the health visitor had been around, and then also a social worker, (the man I met last week),.
As I was driving home, I got the call. I had missed it. So when I arrived back home, I rang back.
The new social worker in charge of my daughters case, said that there were too many concerns and that she wanted to know if I could take the boys.
I did say No. I explained my circumstances but after a few further calls, I caved in. So I have both the boys now. They were collected from Twin2 and brought to me at tea times. Caos.
Well its all calm now. I had to call biggest of mooloo and ask her to get her BF to bring over the travel cot, for DGS1 to sleep in.
They did bring with them, the moses basket and its stand. One small baby bag with a few new baby nappies, and enough baby milk for two bottles, maybe 3 if I am lucky. (so also got Biggests BF to get a packet of babymilk). they didnt bring the babies car seat, as they used their own.
they also didnt bring a change of clothes for any of them.
DGS1 didnt even have a pair of socks on.
DGS2 is in a pair of pyjama bottoms, socks and a vest. Oh and his coat.
Thats it. thats what they brought them over in.
They are now finally asleep. (Well I wouldnt be on here otherwise would I).
But with my small corsa I have a house full and no way of going anywhere without complications as to which child/which of my children I can leave with them.#
The cottage is overflowing tonight as DS is back home, and he has one of his friends here, so they are probably sleeping in the tent!
The only clothes DGS arrived in are in the wash, and he has gone to bed in the least girly thing I could find!
The baby is still in his vest.
I have asked my Dad if he can help. Bless him, he is going to go to Twin2's after he takes my mum to the dentist, and collect what he can of the babies clothes/and DGS1's. As I have got them until Monday.
I did say that if I can not cope can I ring them and i was given some names, (for in the hours) but not the out of hours number. They said didnt I have it for DGD and i said no.
So what ever next is going through my mind.
I know I am not physically going to be able to do this. WIthout Twin1 here there is absolutely no way I could even contemplate this.
I fear this will mess up my plans. But I am trying to remain stead fast in the fact that i am going to Sicily next weekend, and thats final.

Oh why could she not have listened to me and the professionals. why could they not have learnt from twin1's experiences.?
This time, the boys will have to go into care? How can I do this? My heart is breaking. While my head is trying to be practical.
Here we go again is going through my head.
Look after DS for a few days. Ha. 23 weeks today. I love her dearly. I love the boys dearly. But I committed to her first. Then I feel guilty that I cannot do it for them. they deserve the same love and attention?
do I go back and live with the twins? With twin2 it was her actions that split the family up from the big house. (When I started this thread)
I think I need to pray! God give me strength to carry on! Or what ever it is that makes us get up in the morning, pull our socks up, and start all over again.

thorsoak

Mooloo - I just wish that something I could do or say could help lighten your load - but I cannot.

Social Services cannot expect a woman who is over 45, with extreme physical disabilities, to look after three young children - the equivalent of 2 year old twins plus a baby - and in less than perfect living conditions - lovely as your cottage is FOR YOU it is not an ideal cottage for you and three small children without additional support - and let's face it - we know that no additional support will be forthcoming from Social Services - had they given the correct support in the first place you wouldn't be in this situation now!

You have to step back, Mooloo - your own health will not hold out. You are going away next weekend right? YOU MUST STILL GO!

{{hugs}} - and sending prayers for you and your girls, and their babies.

Kittikins

Oh Mooloo, my heart is breaking for you and the children, I don't know how you keep going with all these things going on around you. You are such a fantastic mummy and granny and don't deserve the s**t that is happening around you.

Huge hugs, I'm sorry I can't offer any practical solution as I know nothing about social services and the challenges you are faced with on a daily basis, but I wanted to give you my emotional support.

xxx

Savvy_sewing

thorsoak wrote: »

Mooloo - I just wish that something I could do or say could help lighten your load - but I cannot.

Social Services cannot expect a woman who is over 45, with extreme physical disabilities, to look after three young children - the equivalent of 2 year old twins plus a baby - and in less than perfect living conditions - lovely as your cottage is FOR YOU it is not an ideal cottage for you and three small children without additional support - and let's face it - we know that no additional support will be forthcoming from Social Services - had they given the correct support in the first place you wouldn't be in this situation now!

You have to step back, Mooloo - your own health will not hold out. You are going away next weekend right? YOU MUST STILL GO!

{{hugs}} - and sending prayers for you and your girls, and their babies.

i am going on holiday. they will have to find a foster family by then or i will take the kids back to mum and let them get thier court orders etc. told twin 2 to get a solicitor again.

Savvy_sewing

Kittikins wrote: »

Oh Mooloo, my heart is breaking for you and the children, I don't know how you keep going with all these things going on around you. You are such a fantastic mummy and granny and don't deserve the s**t that is happening around you.

Huge hugs, I'm sorry I can't offer any practical solution as I know nothing about social services and the challenges you are faced with on a daily basis, but I wanted to give you my emotional support.

xxx

Thank you. keep hoping its a dream but i have a 3 month old baby in my good
arm and fingertyping with my left.

Savvy_sewing

Ok, so what do I have to do? do I move again, get a bigger house, let them come home and I live with them? Give up my dreams of a future with Bf?
Do I take the twins home with the children, would I be left holding the babies? Yes I would. I fear I would.
I fear I already have been. I showed the woman into my cottage, and showed her how small it was. I wanted to show her upstairs but she declined to go.
I explained where everyone was sleeping, how it was all squashed in. etc. That there is no central heating, no upstairs bathroom etc etc. But It was we will get a foster family as soon as we can.
I re iterated that I am going on holiday next friday. That they have to find a home for them. then I feel guilty that I have had to say that.
I am not super woman. I am a 48year old granny, with a degenerative spinal disease. I may be fittish now, but I am not going to be able to do this much longer. lifting DGD is hard enough. Trying to keep DGS in his cot was a nightmare that hurt my back, and my arm.
luckily the baby doesnt way anything much. He is probably the easiest to deal with. But its going to mean disruptive nights. then dealing with the effectively twins, as mentioned, is going to be a tough call.
I am saying thank god that twin1 is here,but she moves out on Monday. The Social worker for DGD is due on Monday. The health visitor on Wednesday.
AND I AM GOING AWAY ON FRIDAY. I fly at 6amish. Last gate call is 5.40 i think, and i am going to be on it.

I am accessing the web via my daughters laptop as DS and his mate are using mine. Keep getting the keys wrong. so if there is a mistake extra in my spelling etc I am sorry.
#

alex_g_2

I have read your thread from start to finish. I cannot understand how social services work they are quick to judge but leave no back up as in twin 1 case.
I really think you need CAB or welfare rights or whatever is in your area. Not to be contreversional but DSS are going to do what is easier for them ie you accepting that they live with you.Easier said i know youncan't cope with another two you got your work cut out with 1.

Savvy_sewing

alex_g wrote: »

I have read your thread from start to finish. I cannot understand how social services work they are quick to judge but leave no back up as in twin 1 case.
I really think you need CAB or welfare rights or whatever is in your area. Not to be contreversional but DSS are going to do what is easier for them ie you accepting that they live with you.Easier said i know youncan't cope with another two you got your work cut out with 1.

I will try again tomorrow to get a solicitor. When I contacted one a few months ago over DGD and then the meeting with DGSs I was dismissed sort of. Saying that we should follow social services advice.

Savvy_sewing

Right its way passed my bedtime. DGS2 is due a feed. But is still asleep.
So I am going to try to get some rest.

Oh no he is just waking.
night all