A new start for Mooloo

gizmo111

A few days away for you, BF and GD would be a lovely break - enjoy.

Savvy_sewing

BF doesnt want to come on a holiday. His reaction is he will "go" on holiday on his own. Then it was that he believes that "couples" who start holidaying on thier own are doomed!. So If i go on holiday without him, there is trouble abrewing! But I do not see why? Have emailed him and asked him to confirm what he meant by his messages last night. He doesnt realise it, but he really can be high maintenance at times!
All I want is a little break for the kids to enjoy. Havent booked anything yet. Want to see if he can come up with a compromise. We are, afterall having weekend away together with out DGD, in a few weeks time. Don;t want to jeopardise that, or ruin anythingelse.
Why does life have to be so complicated?

Savvy_sewing

BF is definitely not interested in a holiday with the kids. (my kids or hs kids), and doesnt think that I should be "rewarding " twin1 wth a holiday.
He thinks "bad behaviour" should not be rewarded!.

So at the moment, until talks can be done properly, looks like I am being held to ransome with a relationship or a holiday with the kids!.

So confused

Time to go, things to do and I am still not dressed, where does the time go?.

~Chameleon~

That is damned unfair of him Mooloo. I'm sorry if he reads this, but it is!

Twin 1 hasn't behaved badly as far as I can tell, it is Twin 2 who has done so, even if she isn't aware of doing so, and you've already stated you won't be taking her. I can't believe he is holding you to ransom like this and preventing you from taking Twin 1 and DGD on a much needed (for all three of you) few days break away.

At times I truly think he doesn't deserve you Mooloo.

floss2

Mooloo wrote: »

BF is definitely not interested in a holiday with the kids. (my kids or hs kids), and doesnt think that I should be "rewarding " twin1 wth a holiday.
He thinks "bad behaviour" should not be rewarded....

I'm sorry, but I don't agree that her behaviour is "bad". She has LD and as such is at a different developmental stage than would be expected of another mother of her years. Does he not see the small improvements that have been made by Twin1 are actually huge ones in her world?

Now if you were planning to take Twin2, then I would agree with him!

Keeping_Motivated

IF Twin1 needs punishing then surely her daughter being taken away from her is punishment in its ultimate form? And why should DGD be punished in the process?

Surely by taking mother and daughter away together you are working hard at keeping that bond there while keeping DGD safe and trying to work towards one day them being together again or at the very least keeping a bond that will stand DGD in good stead as her future will/could be confusing as it is without her even having a bond with her mother?

Doesn't BF have interests that he does without you? What is the difference is you having a few days quality time with your daughter and DGD who have BOTH in different ways been through the mill along with you Mooloo?

Sorry I see this as his jealousy rearing its ugly head rather than him thinking twin1 should be punished or anything else, just pure insecurity taking over his rational response to a reasonable idea of yours.

Take care x

bertiebots

Not a very supportive individual is he , your bf? I think you should stick to your guns and do whatever you feel is best. You dont need his permission to do anything and him having a paddy every time he doesnt like something you do frankly is pathetic.
He shouldnt be threatening (by saying holidays apart =doomed etc) he should be happy to spend time with you and the people you love ...thats how relationships work. Seems he wants you all to himself and all his own way. Sorry this may sound harsh or going off on one... but I really think as someone else said , with that attitude he doesnt deserve you mooloo!!!
A little break would be great for you all:D

thorsoak

Mooloo, you are damned if you do - and damned if you don't!

Go away for the four days with your daughter and granddaughter - enjoy the break with them - see if their relationship blossoms (and maybe, your relationship with daughter might even flourish in the joint enjoyment of watching little'un enjoying the seaside!)

BF sadly doesn't seem to be able to step up to the plate when it comes to more of your family than just the little'un - sad really.

Savvy_sewing

BF has replied. He comes over as logical, if his original reasonings were right.
But I am still fed up with being torn between the two. I want my family life, and my relationship life to "meld" into just my life.
He has suggested that I come up with a "plan" for twin1 to be visiting, seeing her daughter etc on my terms, for the next 3 months, then if she manages to do that, then he will even come on a holiday.!
Ball is back in my court, so to speak.
I do see where he is coming from. But in 3 months time, I had been hoping that we would be "fighting" the system, and getting the two back together. Then they wouldnt need to be with me, or a holiday.

I appreciate he is taking me away for a long weekend (2 nights away), but I would like to do something with DGD.
I just dont need the extra pressure at times.

I will think about what he has said. I will talk to him about the "plan" that he thinks would/wouldnt work. (I fear he thinks it will nnot work, as he is offering to come away, with the phrase I will even come!). Then I will make my decisions. However at the moment, I do not see it fully, and I see a little midweek, Mon0Fri at the seaside in a caravan would be ideal for little one. A bucket and spade holiday.! Not the "jolly campers" that I think he believes it has to be.

Today the twins seamed to have got on. Although I have noticed that Twin1 is noticing a lot of the points that she was pulled up on, and pointing them out to her sister. I also noticed that she is much more "grown up" in what she beleives are acceptable etc or not.
Twin2 has asked twin1 to stay with her this weekend. (After last weekends disaster?). But we have both realised that it is becuase she has asked this man?boy to come up from wales. He is coming by train to Town, and she wants to go and meet him from the trainstation!. Twin1 has not agreed to go yet. But she said that if she was there then perhaps it would stop anything happening? Me I see disaster.
I think that twin1 should visit, but go and stay with her friend instead. (the good one), and keep out of it.
The complications of life!.
the health visitor has left a message on my mobile, she is coming to do DGD's developmental check in 2 weeks time, on the Wednesday. So must remember to transfer that into the diary.
I went to meet Molly today. We wandered around the antiques cellar, which was interesting, but we didnt have long enough. But it really did make me itch to get back to the sewing machine.
Roll on the times when DGD goes to Nursery.!!
I wish that at the end of the day I had the energy to sew. I still do not.
However there is hope that i will manage it sooner rather then later.

I went and gave some sewing instructions this afternoon and enjoyed it. I sometimes forget that the knowledge I have about sewing, doesnt seem much to me, as i do it automatically, but to a newby its important information!.

We went to MrT and splashed out on a takeaway style chinese for our tea. DGD has had a go at most of it. But she is very tired now and Mum is giving her a bath before bed. (Something that I will have to start to do again soon, but am enjoying the break from things and watching Mum do it.).
just as we were finishing tea, DGD put her arm around me, and whispered to me, "granny I love you". I said I love you too darling, and she said, "Ok darling" back to me.
That really touched me.

thorsoak

Mooloo wrote: »

just as we were finishing tea, DGD put her arm around me, and whispered to me, "granny I love you". I said I love you too darling, and she said, "Ok darling" back to me.
That really touched me.

It is the moments like that that you will treasure - and that's why you are doing it - even when it does mean that you work yourself into a frazzle!

Loved it, Mooloo!