A new start for Mooloo

gizmo111

Hi Mooloo,

Sorry you've not had a good day - they will come I'm sure.
Regards the core group, its a little concerning that it was chaired by a duty social worker - where was the childrens allocated social worker - He/she is the case co-ordiantor and responsible for this meeting. Don't worry about your outburst, it sounds very mild compared to some and was borne out of frustration rather than anything else. However I would now be very concerned if I was SW on twin2 plans for children and lack of understanding of keeping them safe, don't be surprised if a legal meeting is now called. You must be concerned as well. If you feel up to i ring tomorrow and ask for a copy of todays action plan. Was part of the CP paln to seek legal advice if things went pearshaped?

Regards twin1, there is still a long way to go before GD could be returned to her care - has this ever been mentioned? Have there been any reviews planned/held since GD has been in your care?

Take care
regards

[Deleted User]

Hiya Mooloo

Apologies I've only been posting on MSE for a short while so am not totally up to date with your thread. I have read as much of it as I can, but none of your older thread.

But I just wanted u to know.., thing became a bit tough for me a year ago.., I have a boy with ASD.., no help, at the time I had a really really iffy relationship and well.., I just got more and more depressed. Phoned every org. I could think of over a few months saying I couldn't cope and of course none of them wanted to know. Refused initially for DLA (desperate for the money to care for my son) and well, I tried to suicide not once but twice. I'm not going to make excuses about that, it was a very wrong thing to do altho obviously I kindof feel there were reasons too but aware they don't excuse it.

Anyway, because of the suicide attempts, just as I realised that whatever it took, however much I didn't want to live anymore, my children mattered too much for me to keep sinking downwards.., social services walked in. I ended up with my children on the At risk register, then they were marked as Children in Need.

Now, the point of this little epistle is.., I walked out of the first case meeting. Obviously mentally (it was about three weeks after my final suicide attempt) I wasn't at my best. I was faced with a 26 page report containing many many inaccuracies. In fact it was 80% skewed to make me look as bad as possible. I read the first ten pages, heart in my mouth thinking they are going to take my children away.., how on earth do I prove in one meeting that this report is so wrong.., things have been misreported. And I'm afraid I bottled out and walked out, as at the time I felt condemned and powerless. The manager did try to get me to stay but I point blank refused.

And yes, it did turn out that the Duty Social worker had been more than a little inept. Even my older son's school said that the instances quoted as being reported by them were incorrect (and they were the main complainants as they felt I was going on too much about my older son having ASD - they were ignoring the fact BTW but such is life).

But like you, I did wonder how I would ever face these people again.., that I'd made things worse by losing my cool like that. I was seeing a counsellor at the time and she put it nicely.., if u couldn't cope, it was better that u left. And to be honest, everyone was very understanding at the next case conference.., the mistakes (most of it) were cleared up and I was given many opportunities to speak and my opinion counted .., in spite of what i'd done.

So Moolly, in my usual overly long winded way I am trying to say if they could treat me like that, and lets face it u had every justification for acting as u did unlike me.., I think they will be equally understanding.

gizmo111

So Moolly, in my usual overly long winded way I am trying to say if they could treat me like that, and lets face it u had every justification for acting as u did unlike me.., I think they will be equally understanding.

Sorry you had such a difficult time, things must have improved as the children are no longer CP. Of course they will be understanding.

Take care

Savvy_sewing

Morning.
Deananatrois, thannkyou for your post. It was probably quite hard to write it.
I understand how you feel, although I didnt attempt suicide, when the kids were growing up, I did have fleeting thoughts at the roughest of times, however I did have a near Nervous breakdown, and lost several days of my life, when I collapsed one morning, and the next thing I know I had a new live in Nanny to care for the children. DS was about 2 at the time, so 15 years ago now.
I have had the signs a few times since, and stop, battle down the hatches, and take a few days out. Then write for the world in my journals until I can turn myself around, give myself a pet talk and carry on again!.
Bringing up 4 children on my own, (after a 13/year marriage), was difficult. Biggest of Mooloo was only 7, the twins, nearly 5, and DS 1 year old when my Marriage broke up. I had my own businesses making wedding dresses, and at the time I collapsed, it was the middle of the wedding season, so I was working all hours of the day and night. Juggling school trips, babysitters and schedules for the wedding shop and all the alterations for a Drycleaners which just arrived daily, with no idea of what they might be.. So yes I can understand where you are coming from.

I hope that things are much better for you now. That you find solace and good advice here on MSE. Without my heart pourings here, I do not know how I would have survived the last 3 years since the first twin told me she was pregnant.
I had not long been made bankrupt when I found MSE. So life was pretty stressful then anyway.
So here I am 3 years on. Alive and protesting!.

Savvy_sewing

This morning I have been trying to get ontop of the housework. Cannot find what my daughter did with the rubber gloves, and so my hands will split if I use any cleaning solutions, even the washing up liquid! eek.
Tidying clothes for england I think. Have been washing for it anyway!.
Twin1 is playing with DGD and colouring.
I am about to go upstairs and see if I can make DGD's room look more like a bedroom for a little girl, then a dumping ground for clothes!

Twin2 has just phoned to tell me that the health visitor has been to see her. (so they didnt believe me yesterday when I said that the furniture etc has arrived!) Anyway she is off to town on the bus. Wanted to know if I wanted anything from the Poundshops. Nope I dont, but thanks anyway..

floss2

Mooloo wrote: »

.....Twin2 has just phoned to tell me that the health visitor has been to see her. (so they didnt believe me yesterday when I said that the furniture etc has arrived!) Anyway she is off to town on the bus. Wanted to know if I wanted anything from the Poundshops. Nope I dont, but thanks anyway..

That's nice that she is thinking of you enough to call & ask...:)

Savvy_sewing

floss2 wrote: »

That's nice that she is thinking of you enough to call & ask...:)

I think that was her way of saying sorry for yesterday. At least I am taking it that way.
i look for the good in all. I get the worst at times, but there is always a good side. I hope and I pray.
Some tell me she is extracting the **** but I say she is not but using her skills to manipulise me.!
But when I am in a stress I think the worst.
When I post in here, I tell it from the heart. As it happens a lot of the time.So my moods change. As does most people. However i do feel that it is time she stopped calling me for help one minute and blanking me the next!
Such is lfe.
I am just hoping that we get a happy medium.
I love my kids, warts and all, but I feel I needed to have been a saint at times.
:A

candygirl

MOOLOO you must have the patience of a saint hun, I have enough probs with one DD and her expectations of me:eek::eek:.What I have found though is that although we can't change them, we can change ourselves ie don't be so available all the time :D
We might eventually get appreciated then:rotfl::rotfl:

Savvy_sewing

I am not going to take it as a bad thing. I will take it as a peace offering. But I will also still continue to start the distancing process.
Twin 1 has cooked us a sausage casserole. So I am off to sample it. She really has changed a lot lately. Lets hope it continues.xx

Savvy_sewing

just looking at Haven holidays for a few days away, would be nice for DGD. and also twin1. Twin2 once upon a time. but she is now causing so much agro wth her sister that \I dont think so.
Looked at June for 4 days and its around £150-£160 so thats obtainable.
Need to talk to my BF and see if he wants to be part of it or not. Before I do anything.
Already I am feeling the affects of the physio. Early night then agian