A new start for Mooloo

Savvy_sewing

Well I have spent the day in my bedroom. Mostly sleeping!.
lots of thinking between.
I have had a lot of communication with Ex/BF. For once although we are not talking, we are talking via the MSN. And emails earlier.
I think we are both seeing things differently.
I do not know where that will lead us, but honesty is helping.

Errata

Mooloo wrote: »

I think that I will print that off Errata, and stick it under the social workers nose!. Both social workers.

Here's another one - not sure if it's still going

Furniture Store
Tel 01295 267741
North Bar Place, BANBURY, Oxon OX16 0TD
Contact Brian Hoare, Manager
Furniture collected and redistributed for reuse by people on benefits, welfare or income support, including those with disabilities, or homeless if referred by another organisation, social or welfare service. Purely voluntary service. Networks with local authorities. All household goods taken and offered including armchairs and suites, except soft furnishings like sheets, blankets and bedding. Items received or collected from all over the Cherwell area, from peoples' homes mainly, but will receive donations from any source including businesses and organisations. Donors can phone to arrange to deliver or for a pick up time. There is a small charge for collection, which covers expenses and is the sole income keeping the operation running: £5 minimum, which normally covers two or three large items. Sometimes receives unusual or antique items. Open 9-230 Mon-Fri, for clients to view, collect or arrange free delivery. Collections normally arranged for between 930 and 12. (Updated May 2003)

mommame

Mooloo wrote: »

Whats A SW? Oh yes, social worker silly me

Well mooloo that's a good question cos they sure have been thin on the ground in your case,I think you have more chance of seeing a yetti in your living room than get an actual functioning social worker round your way these last 18 months.
Lets hope things are actually going to happen at last and please nag nag nag but nothing else on you're part.
:j:j:j:j really pleased for you all.

Savvy_sewing

Morning,
I have been awake for over 2 hours. But still lurking in my bedroom. Watching GMTV, item on about Teenage mums. Interesting. They wouldnt let Twin2's BF into the mother unit, and thats why she wouldnt go in. Mind you twin1 took the flat and it still didnt work!.

Yet again, BF and I did a lot of communication via the MSN chatting. And with some of the questions I had sent in an email that were quite frank, I have had quite frank answers back.
We do not know if we can make things work again. But both of us are realising that things that were wrong/unresolved in the beginning have become nogo areas before, and those things have become our eggshell moments.

My family have of course not helped, the living seperately has had to be, but has also not helped.

I may be softening from the No way, Never again. Becuase we never talked about these things in any of our previous fall outs! We are both being honest, and agreeing that there are mountains to climb if we do see a way through, but like any relationship, we both need to know the deepest problems, to see if there are ways forward, or whether we have to call it a day. Not in anger, but with knowledge and hindsight.
Talks this morning, yes at 6.15ish! We both still want to try.

Before you all shout at me, Becareful etc etc. Domestic Abuse, etc etc.
I will not run before I can walk this time, and I am not running straight back.

I still need my break away. I still need to think, and write things down, as is my way. I also need to let the twins go a little more now. Remember to say NO. Something that is not easy for me, but once the professionals that have all now said that they will be involved, must do their duty to the twins, and let me find a way to sort out my health, (my wealth:o), and make sure I can do my own things and put in my list of things to do.
I did wonder if I should "disapear" for a while, and maybe take some time out well away, but obviously I have to stay here, or where ever i manage to afford once DGD has moved on.

I really have got to "restart" now. With a determination to get my health back on track, and others will have to help the twins now. Becuase without my health, there is not much point really. I know I cannot regain complete health, but without the stress, hopefully I can get back on that even keel, I had aimed for when i moved to my cottage.

Anyway these are my thoughts and actions so far.

thorsoak

Good for you Mooloo! And no, I've not read your post with an in-take of breath, sucked through my teeth!

You and BF might have a future together if you are both brave enough to face what hasn't been faced in the past - neither of you can ignore the other's failings/faults/responsibilities - it is what makes you you and himself himself. It's whether you both can change what can be changed and accept what cannot be changed. Hopefully you can - but if not, you will know that you have both tried your hardest after this time.

It's springtime (just!) - new shoots are growing from things that looked dead a week ago - so good luck - just keep watering and tending your relationship!

Savvy_Sue

If you want to give it another go, would you both consider going to Relate or somewhere similar? You don't have to be married, and it might be helpful to have someone impartial listen and help you each hear each other.

Savvy_sewing

I am back, from an exhausting morning.
I used to take it in my stride, but I cannot at the moment.
I took twin1 back to her flat, with instructions to start to pack. I will have to collect her on Sunday, so that we can view/have the meeting about the Stableyard housing. Monday at 11am
Then I went straight to twin2. She seems OK< but a little flat, but she managed to give me £10 of the £50 she still owed me. We had a cup of tea, and a chat, and I told her positive things that she had managed, and also told her I had to back off, especially when she has moved into her new home.

the Homestart representative came to see her, Funnily enough it was the same woman I saw last year, and she remembered that I was ill then. although she said I look better then I did last time she saw me! so god help me, I must have looked dreadful!!!! I am no picture at the moment.!

Anyway she is going to support Twin2 when she moves, so hopefully I can relax more.
Ex?BF has said that if I start to say NO to them, he will support me.? That will be interesting, but its a start in the right direction.
I still feel the need to get away, but Hester, I do not think that it will be possible for a little while, as there is so much going on, with both girls haveing to move in the same week! Nightmare. I will need my rest afterwards thats for sure.
Now I am trying to get DGD to have a nap, she did fall asleep in the car on the way back, and I thought she might go to sleep, but alas she is running amock.
i better see what I can do,to keep her amused without any further distruction to the house, then was caused yesterday when her Mum was supervising.
I really could do with asleep now.

Re BF and relate, I dont think he would go, but we are bashing out problems. It a case of whether we actually find the solid ground to build things back on or whether it is too late. It appears after the "anger" of the weekend, we both at least want to make it work. Part of me is worried its too late, but the other part of me,thinks that as we uncover the little original cracks, some at least are mendable.. So I will keep on trying to negotiate, parle, or what ever the terms are.

Savvy_sewing

Counting the hours down until DGD will be in bed! Monkey she is. Then I can have a sleep. I am so tired today? Tablets are making me a bit woosy and I dont know why?
Oh god shes just tried to hang herself with her back pack on the door handle with her head in the straps! You have to have eyes in the back of your head with kids!.

Oh hurry up Biggest of Mooloo and get sorted out!! I am exhausted.

Here is the picture of the bag i did for Mum in the end.http://
and I hope this is the reverse side of it.http://


I must learn how to reduce these pictures some how!

Jo4

That bag is gorgeous!

Savvy_sewing

mum wanted a bag for the day, i.e. the beige side, and then she was wearing lilac in the evening, so i did it reversible, so she turns it inside out and she has another bag for the evening. I used a Pearl type necklace for the handles!
I do hope that I will be able to find some time to sew again soon. As I really enjoyed it.
I just need to get the days organised in my favour for a change!.

Biggest of Mooloo has just been on the phone, and we are talking about the practicalities of all of this transition to her home.
I am probably going to have to have DGD for a few more months yet. You see she has to wait for the CRB checks to come through, and then she has to give her job a months notice. She has decided to quit and get DGD into routines, and find a nursery space etc and she also wants to hang on, becuase of the finances until her BF's new job is confirmed and he starts to get a wage coming in.
They are also living in such a small place that they really would like to try and find a bigger place to live rather then shoe horn all DGD's stuff into the one room Biggest Rents, and of course his stuff, if they really are going to be making it permanant.
This will all take time.
On the other hand, It will actually help me, (if I do not run around after the twins), as if DGD is on my housing benefit and not DS, as it doesnt look like he is planning to come back), Then I will get to keep my cottage for the next few months.
I will eventually get the Childbenefit and the tax credits etc for having DGD, but the CAB has advised that claims are taking about 8 weeks to come through at the moment,. So thats not good news, as I am not getting any money from twin1 now, as her money has been stopped. So we are on the £89 a week again.

I fear that I may have to use my funds, I hoped to sneak away with, for living on if benefits are going to take that long.
(But it will get back dated to the 8th March).

Now that I have a clearer picture of the things to come, I can work on it.
I will cope with DGD if I do not have to cope with her mother and her auntie all the time.

Biggest did say that if Twin2 is to get the house that she has been offereed she will not be too far away from her (at the moment) and she can take on the daily visits to see that things are ok. lets hope that some of this comes to fruition. Then I really would have peace of mind.

Once they are all settled then I can work out my days better, and hopefully be able to sew for a few hours on an evening when DGD has gone to bed.

I am trying to be positive as I feel so low at the moment. Its important to look for the silver linings!!