A new start for Mooloo

grandma247

Mooloo I was afraid that would happen. Please please think carefully. Control freaks do this all the time. They say they are sorry and they will do better time after time.

Remember the times when you were not supported and cherished as you deserve to be.

You are in shock at the moment and you need to give yourself time not only to get over that but if you decide to keep it finished then you need time to mourne. You have lost something big in your life after all.
Hugs to you.

Savvy_sewing

I wouldnt say he was a total control freak. I would say he would liked to have been more involved by knowledge of my whys and wherefores.

Savvy_sewing

Sorry that got cut short as I got an email.
I have to go out soon, so I will be back on this evening I suppose.
Its time I had a bit to eat before I go, and then wake up little un.

By the way, I received a lovely parcel today, some little bits for me, from the Nonny Mice.!! Thankyou so much, it brightened my day. Apparantly it had been left in my neighbours shed instead of mine!.
Thankyou, so much everyone for all of your kindness its very touching.

Savvy_sewing

Well I feel like I have been run over by a bus now!
I am exhausted and every bit of me hurts. Must be the wet weather added to things.
I have lit the fire, made a cup of tea, and DGD is playing with my Euro's pot. Not that there is much in there as I havent been away in a while.

We are now waiting with baited breath to here back from the Housing Association. They have given us the address where twin2 will be, on the one proviso that the outgoing tenants actually do go! So its an anyday now, with which ever tenancy starting on a Monday. Lets hope the outgoing tenants dont change thier mind and stay!.

The Police took my print of the malicious comments from Facebook, and the other instances of this girls torment to twin2, and they went to see her there and then. She has been warned not to put things like she did on the internet, etc and to stay away from twin2. That if there is anythingelse then she will be dealt with etc etc. So let hope that that is the end of it.

I dont think that I can take anything else now.
I am on overload and tilt.
The emails between BF and I are pretty emotional, and I am worn to a frazzle now.
Diner is going to be left overs heated up, so that will be a 5 mins in the microwave. Then after DGD has gone to bed, I hope that I will be able to relax a little, maybe have a soak in the bath, (if the water will stay in the dam thing long enough), and I can get enough of it hot!. I will use the relaxing lavender stuff, I will spray my pillow with the Sleeparomatherapy stuff I had from avon last year, and hope that I can get a few good hours sleep.
Tomorrow will be coffee shop around 10am with Molly I hope, if she is well enough, then I have to arrange to collect twin1. Then perhaps i can get some me time, while she looks after DGD.
I hope I dont have to do much running around, the thought of any at the moment seems to much. Actually walking the 10 steps up to the bedroom seems a mamouth task at the moment.
I think I can manage the 2 to the dining room, and 1 up to the kitchen.! haha
Right I am away to heat up that dinner.

bertiebots

Mooloo wrote: »

I wouldnt say he was a total control freak. I would say he would liked to have been more involved by knowledge of my whys and wherefores.

But what about everything you said about him not letting you talk to other men , being overly jealous ,distrustful and ruining your holiday etc etc etc. :eek: I am worried that he is trying to manipulate you still ,so please take care of yourself Mooloo.
You dont need someone else to worry about with everything else you have on your plate...you need to worry about yourself first:A.

Molly41

Really pleased that you have got somewhere with the housing association. Fingers crossed xxxxx Im on for tomorrow - really looking forward to catching up. I really enjoyed it last week and they are such a friendly bunch. Try not to let the ex get to you - stay strong - try saying to yourself... I am a woman hear me roar...... I say that to myself when i need to be strong!

Savvy_sewing

bertiebots wrote: »

But what about everything you said about him not letting you talk to other men , being overly jealous ,distrustful and ruining your holiday etc etc etc. :eek: I am worried that he is trying to manipulate you still ,so please take care of yourself Mooloo.
You dont need someone else to worry about with everything else you have on your plate...you need to worry about yourself first:A.

I dont know myself anymore, never mind him.
he seeks answers that I cannot give him. He sees things in a different way to me, apparantly I am wrong. I wish to heaven I was wrong, but its not all black and white.
I dont know what I want, or what or why he is still communicating, I suppose we do need to TALK not text or email. !! That would be a start, but then I fear that I will succumb to things, and I am not sure that it would be any help.
I do love him, I suppose so I need to keep my distance until my head rules me instead of my heart.
The what ifs, etc etc.
I think that we both made far too many mistakes, plastered them over, and the wounds didnt heal. They just got deeper and deeper and then something simple tips the balance.
I am an enormously strong person, so I am told, but I am affraid I am not sure what decisions to take at the moment. So I wont be making any.

I am going to talk to Biggest of Mooloo's tomorrow and see what days she is having DGD over the Easter Period, as I know that she plans to take her to visit relatives. But I dont know the days etc.
I would like to ask her to take the rest of the week off for me, and let me go and hibernate, as i did when things got tough before. My battening down of the hatches as I have always called it.
I dont know if I can function today. I was even short with DGD over dinner.
I have just had other problems from twin2, the girl reported to the police has been at her door, but sensibly she didnt answer it. I told her to report it to the police not me.
Then her own BF has posted remarks on facebook that are not repeatable on here, so I have just removed him from my friends list and told her that I am sorry, I am not going to have anything more to do with him.
I am out of it.
I will visit her, etc, but I will not be party to him. I think he is a waste of space, and has not helped her with things very well.
I have tried for her sake, but no longer.

I have tried tocontact myson, who is hanging around with him at the moment, and told him via a message why I have stepped back. But for all the good it will do me.

I know that Biggest is trying to get to talk to housing and the social, and has a CAB meeting tomorrow. Lets hope that that side of thngs will start to move a bit faster.

I really feel that if its not one thing its another, and I am on Overload. There is nothing much of me left today, to fight the battles etc.

Dispite all the warnings of burn out, I have tried not to,but I feel today that finally I have really hit that wall.:(

jackieglasgow

Mooloo, when things start to go wrong, sometimes it feels like EVERYTHING is going worng. These happenstances with your kids are no different to what has been happening for the last few months/years. They just seem worse because your heart is broken and lonely and confused. You are right though, you need to talk to BF and discuss if your relationship has a way forward, it's all very well for well meaning acquaintances off the internet interpreting your comments about what has gone on between you and giving their opinion, mine is that if half of what you've said is accurate then I'd tell him to shove it, if it were me, but only you can decide. Maybe if you didn't have the stress of the family, things would be OK between you, and have moved onto a more permanent and even plain by now, or maybe you would be feeling stronger and able to see that you need more from a relationship, and be able to ask for it.

My heart worried for you, it really does, and your girls with their wee girls' heads. I hope that the new flat for DT2 makes a difference. Enjoy your bath my love!

Jackie X

bertiebots

Its amazing you even know what planet you are on with everything you have had and still are dealing with. I think a few days on your own would do you a world of good if biggest can look after dgd for you .
Not making any decisions now is very wise. (((hugs))).

Savvy_sewing

bertiebots wrote: »

Its amazing you even know what planet you are on with everything you have had and still are dealing with. I think a few days on your own would do you a world of good if biggest can look after dgd for you .
Not making any decisions now is very wise. (((hugs))).

I am just waiting for the water to heat up and I will see if I can enjoy a bath.
I doubt it will be long after that then I will be in bed.
I shall switch off the computer, and the phone. Something I never normally switch off. The family will have to do without me for the rest of the day.

Thanks everyone, for your hugs, gifts of kindness etc. I reall appreciate it.