A new start for Mooloo

Savvy_sewing

Savvy sue, Bertiebots, and everyone else. Please do not worry about offending me. I see the frustration that you are all feeling on my behalf. Indeed I am as frustrated as I have every known in my life. My love for my family is deep. But also my understanding of what is required tells me that there are troubles ahead. The unfortunate thing is that there are so many obstacles for each one of them, and as the mother of four, that means four times as many obstacles, as I support them.
In my head I want to stop and stop now. But in my heart I know that I cannot.
If I give up on them, then there appears to be nobody fighting their corners. The fact that social Services say their job is to keep the family together, in my experience its the opposite, but they want the extended family to take things on, as its cheaper for them!
If any of the dangers are there that my grandchildren need protection from, I agree. But I also have seen with my own eyes today, that DGS1 throws a temper tantrum that he actually pinches himself to make himself cry! It scared me to death. I have made sure his nails were cut today. But the marks he left on himself were similar to the acusasiion marks that were there before, that accused twin2's BF of hurting him.
On Monday I will be talking to the Health Visitor, and to the social worker to inform them of this. I will also see if I can learn how to use the video bit on my camera, to see if I can record any such incident over the weekend for evidence.

Twin2's BF has been on the phone alot. He is missing them all. It appears that he and twin1 have run out of money for food. However they have not approached me. (which is good). but twin1 has applied for a crisis loan, which if she got, will annoy me, as she is asking for it for him too. (I mean she is supporting him financially if he is getting food, cigarettes etc from her).

Life is a tangle web, that we weave, is never a truer word to say!
My life appears to be a web upon a web. Due to the children. How do I support them all, for howlong I do, I really do not know.

Its obviously not over by a long shot. The finances are a problem, but the family diversity, and the problems we have to still face are the problem that we have to surmount!

My arm is not good, but I am going to go to bed soon. I was going about an hour ago, and even text night to my BF, but then the baby was awake, and I thought I would watch mastercrafts. Such is my life.

I see the doctor on Wednesday, and the physio on Thursday. My parents have said they will have DGD for me while I am at the doctors as its within spitting distance of thier house. Means I dont have to take her with me.

Right, I have been posting on a sewing thread, so i am off to see whats happening over there for a bit.

Savvy_sewing

Hello,
Well I have a few minutes to myself, but only just.
We are off to see twin1 and twin2's BF,. I will have to be with them no doubt, as the rules of the safety agreement are a bit ambiguous.! Whats new there then.
Biggest of Mooloo arrived at 11am to take DGD with her for the next 24 hours. Thank goodness.
The two two year olds together are a nightmare. (Remeniscence of twins at that age). The boy is a walking disaster area! Two of my vases have been smashed already. Nothing was broken by DGD!
My steam mop has arrived, and I have had a go at a bit of the carpet, but as my carpets are cream (landlords choice) then I think it will be a while before they are completely clean again!.

I am still very tired. I really dont want to go out and about, but duty calls.
Tomorrow I am supposed to be going over to twin2's hostel and cleaning it up, before she goes back with the kids. To try and give her a head start in the place!.
But it will really depend on my arm.
I also have my mums handbag to finish, as its needed for a wedding soon.
I want to do a lot of things, but its going to be a few days more before I can.

I have resubmitted my letter to Denise Robertson on the tv. See if I get a reply.
But I wont hold out much hope. Then if I do get a reply it will be a bonus for me.

I am trying to tell myself that I can cope, that the sun is out, that the day is good, and that I have got this far, so I can carry on. (Positive mental attitude at this stage is quite hard to coax myself into), but I am trying honestly.

Did I tell you that I spoke to a woman in housing yesterday and there may be a place coming up in Brackley for twin2. She is going to talk to her on Tuesday. Then see if they can change her housing application to widen her area of choice.
Its not the place she wanted to be in, as in area, but in my mind anywhere away from the hostel would be an improvement!.
I have a little man watching me with awe at the moment.
Thinks my fingers are spiders!
Now that i only have a few more minutes while the baby feeds, I am going to catch up on a few other threads I try to follow.

Molly41

Hi Mooloo,
Yes the sun is shining but there is quite a nip in the air. Keep positive and look for the little things in the day that can be yours and bring you comfort. A cup of tea and a read of your magazine, 5 minutes tending your seedlings or contemplating the view out of your window. It sounds more positive as regards Twin 2 accommodation -at least its in the town. I hope your meeting goes well with Twin 1 and her BF. Lets hope the enforced separation will make him realise what he might lose if he doesn't buck his ideas up. Hassle for you though having to transport them over there.
Hugsx

Savvy_sewing

Morning,
Up earlier then I would have hoped. Baby woke at 5.10am, and then its been interupted sleep for me eversince.
I had to talk to twin2 about communicating with her son more. Well both. Told her that if she was to talk to him more, he would A) know what Mummy was doing and why. b) be quieter as he listened, c) learn to speak better faster as toddlers mimmic.
I have to worry about them, as she appears to be in a bit of a helpless state! whether thats cos she is missing her BF, or whether its becuase I am around so let Mum have a go.
But I have been trying to stay more in the background. Just doing the minimum necessary to keep things going. I have fed and helped with the baby only when DGS is really being demanding. Although I talk to him and show him what I am doing, I keep reminding Mum what she should be doing.
She did say that she was going to wash up last night, after I cooked the dinner, but when I went to bed last night at 9oclock it was not done, and it was still there this morning.
I ended up moving the washing on, and washingup, just while I was making a cup of tea for us this morning. So I have brought my tea up to the bedroom, with the lap top. Suggested (unfortunately) that she just leaves the fan heater on in the main room and leaves the fire for me to do later. It will give her instant heat and also without the big fireguard up in such a small room it will give DGS a bit of space to play in.
I fear that she has been set up for a fall next week, being alone in the hostel, with the 'hostile' inmates! and no BF to help her. The SS have said that the place has to be clean, tidy, no washing up on the side, etc and I really cannot see her coping with everything, I hope to god that I am wrong, and that she picks up her game.
She will have to cope for several hours today, here in my cottage while I go to her room and organise it, clean what i can, and hope that when my Dad takes her back again tomorrow, she has a head start. We already know that SS are coming for a visit tomorrow at the hostel, so we need to make sure that he doesnt already have a gripe for her to deal with.
I am not thrilled as it is not the best of times for me to be doing heavy cleaning, as my arm/neck are not in tip top condition after all the driving, lifting of babies and toddlers and lets see, all the other things I am not supposed to be doing!!!!

I am not sure how I am expected to care for DGD and visit and support Twin2 with twin1 back in her flat, starting to pack etc.
I must admit that twin2's BF has been helping twin1 at the flat while he is staying there, and it was in a much cleaner and tidier state then I have ever seen it.!
It was spotless.
Then I also noticed that she was in a much brighter mood then I have seen her, and looked and smelt cleaner then she has done at times.!
We spoke about the fact that tomorrow the Social Services are meeting with Biggest of Mooloo about kinship caring for her daughter, and that if she was to see a lawyer, she could still appeal and go to court to get her back if she felt that she could cope. She said that, she was happier knowing that DGD was being cared for, within the family, and that she didnt have to try and do two things at once. That she had realised that she was not able to keep the place clean and tidy and care for DGD at the same time.
This is the first time she was looking positive and determind to learn how to cope. Not that I am sure how much of the work was hers or his. We will have to see.
We are still awaiting news that she can go into the assisted living we have asked for. Perhaps we will hear soon. Time is running out for her. She has to be out of the New Horizons by easter Sunday.
(Please God they give us time to move her, and that I dont have to spend all my time and effort driving up and down in my little car. I cannot move the bed etc? I suppose we will just have to see. I am not sure that my Dad is going to be around. I think they go away next week?
Tomorrow Dad is going to take twin2 back to the hostel for me, so then it will be back to just me and DGD here in the cottage. I can then get her back into her bedroom and try to get the cottage back to normal.
However I will have to still go over to the hostel, probably on a daily visit to makesure that twin2 is OK.
Ugh, what a thought! All that driving, and time away from the cottage.

I can see the sun is trying to come through my bedroom curtains. Time I should move, and get myself up.
Perhaps if I can get my joints moving better soon, I can finish my mum's handbag before I go over to the hostel with all my cleaning equipment!! Mrs Mop anyone?

Savvy_sewing

Well it took me around 5 hours yesterday to sort the hostel room out. That did include steaming the carpets and the kitchenette floor.
I was actually enjoying doing it? Probably as it was easy to see the difference. Also I had pulled back the curtains, and opened the window, and the sun was shining in. It didnt remind me of the dark and dingy looking room of my previous visits. Also the storage heater was off, so it was cooler!
I made up the beds, and the cot, (with a bit of an effort). The steaming was easy, just patience needed, as the mop is so light!.
Anyway I am hoping that Twin2 will be happy with it when she sees it today, and that she will feel a little more comfortable until she has a place to move to.
I did a little shopping at Mr T on the way home, and bought her an iron, (less then £5) and a new one for me, as I broke mine last week).
I have done all her washing/and she has helped a little< so she can have clean clothes/ towels/bedding and not have a back log to tackle, or be lying around the room.
I cooked tea, then sat watching TV, was in bed by 9pm.

This morning, it was around 7.15 when the baby and the DGS woke. So that was not too bad.
I have left Twin2 downstairs to deal with them, after lighting the fire, and moving the last wash on.

Biggest of Mooloo has text to say that she has dropped DGD at my parents, and my DAD is bringing her back here, at 10am to take Twin2 and the kids back to the hostel. he has a 7 seater car, so he will be able to do it all in one trip!.
Thank god that they have been around this week.
I think if they had not been there to help, I would have collapsed this week!.

Now I better stop hiding in my bedroom, and get dressed, and get sorted so that we dont keep my Dad waiting.
the sun is shining again. So I will throw back the curtains, let the light into the cottage, and enjoy the views for a few moments, just to brighten my moods, etc

Lots of calls to be made today!. After 9am again I suppose. My phonebill will be the next thing that they put the DD up!!!

Battled with Npower again, as the S/O doesnt seem to arrive exactly on the day they want, (usually earlier), and then they cancel my agreement, and threaten the court action etc etc. Its so unfair. Anyway I told them that they can take me to court and they will be laughed out of it, as they are getting regular payments on the day of my benefits, so no court in the land would agree with them. !! (Well I hope so anyway.).

Better get on with my day!

Molly41

Hope you get through the phone calls ok and that Twin 2 and co moves back to hostel ok. Well done on the cleaning - Im sure she will appreciate it. Hope you feeling ok today? x

Savvy_sewing

Feeling a bit tired, and worn weary, but thats ok, I can go to bed early tonight as DGD does, and we will have a good 10 or 11 hours if I am lucky!.
My dad brought DGD to me this morning, and after a quick cup of tea, he loaded up the stuff for twin2 and then took her and the babies back to the hostel. I hope she does appreciate things. But she didnt ring up and say anything.
She will be busy shopping for the basics that she needs.
Biggest of Mooloo has a meeting with the social services worker, as the start of her assessments to be fit to care for DGD. I am going over to meet her too. That way she can see DGD as well as me beign able to listen to the proceedings and make notes for biggest of mooloo, or ask questions if necessary.

I rang the housing officer, but this time she is on holiday.So we will just have to see what happens next week. Although the faster the better.

I still havent had a reply to any of my letters to the council, the MP or the TV. I am one in a million of problems I suppose.

I am washing today, trying to do the bedding while the weather is good. Bit cold but the sunshine always makes me feel better.

Have had a letter from the Jobcentre asking about my son. So thats official now then, he doesnt want to come home, and I will have to loose part of my benefits soon.

Right, I am going to finish my cup of tea, see if I can find my socks, and then be ready for the visit to Biggest of Mooloo's.

Savvy_sewing

The visit with the Social worker at Biggest of Mooloo's went down well. All was quite positive, if still a little vague.
CIB checks (Is that the right spelling) are to be done as a matter of course on Biggest of Mooloo and her BF. The social worker will arrange to meet her again when she gets the forms in. Meanwhile biggest of Mooloo's is to get legal advise. She is to then get the application in to the courts for Residency/possibly guardianship for DGD. The courts then give Social Services 12 weeks to give them back the assessments etc as to the fitness/etc of this plan.
As she was quite happy with the way she could see that DGD loves her auntie, and that the set up was "adequate" for DGD, she is happy for us to make the gradual transfer of DGD to Biggest of Mooloo's once the checks are back.
So between now and the end of June, DGD will/should be with her Auntie full time.

So there is an end in site to my caring for DGD, but it will be dependant on Biggest getting herself sorted out.
Meanwhile I am now to go for the Childbenefit and the child Tax credits in myown right. (Twin1 is no longer in need of them, and if she is, she shouldnt be).
This will allow me housing benefit here, while she is with me. I have to apply for that as DS has now applied for funding at his mates house. So is therefore nolonger residing with me.
Once DGD is transfered to her Aunties, then I will loose the housing benefit for the second room. That will be when I have to apply for the disgretionary housing benefit. How long that will tide me over I do not know.
By then i hope that I will have found a way to stay in my cottage.!
Sewing lessons being the first choice for me. Then any funds made from selling my clutter off on the web/carboot etc.
If all else fails then my Dad will try to help me, until I do find somewhere else to stay.!
Gosh its so complicated.

Twin2 is back at the hostel. I know she was going shopping earlier. I havent heard from her yet. Hope she is OK.
Tomorrow I am at the doctors just before 10am. then i will go and see her later if she needs me to. I will call in on her eventually tomorrow or the day after.
Now its time for dinner.

Molly41

Hi Mooloo,
It sounds like things are slowly getting sorted which is really positive x

Savvy_sewing

Its not for want of trying!.
But if I had to wait until the 12 weeks assessments were over again! I think I may collapse!
The sunshine has lifted me.
I have nearly finished my Mum's handbag. Just need to put the fastener on it!. Forgot to do it before I put the lining in, so I will have to take the lining back out, fix the fastener, and then put it back in again!.

I am a bit tired now, been a little battle with DGD tonight. Think being back at her aunties this afternoon, was a little bit of a strange thing for her.
Hopefully she has gone to sleep. fingers crossed.

now its time for me to wind down a little, and let the tension out of my shoulders, before I go to bed!.