A new start for Mooloo

Savvy_Sue

Errata wrote: »

SS may not be able to 'allow' ( sorry that's not the exact word, can't think of the correct one) Twin 2, children and BF stay in your cottage as that will make it severely overcrowded as officially you, DGD and DS live there and it has only 2 bedrooms. Not sure what the rules/regs are on this, but sure there are some somewhere.

I'm not sure there's anything too helpful on this.

I know that if Mooloo was applying for a council house or through a Housing Association, they would not allocate a house which led immediately to 'official' overcrowding, and there would be some extra points if the existing accommodation was 'officially' overcrowded.

However, on the face of it, all these people have chosen to move in with Mooloo, in privately rented accommodation. And many people do choose to live in extended families, albeit not generally quite as crowded as this!

If any of the children are on the 'At Risk' or Child Protection registers, then SS may have something to say about the situation, BUT if they're not formally 'At Risk' then I am not sure they have to do anything.

But I agree, do not ATTEMPT to show that you are shipshape, or coping, or in this for the long term! IT WILL NOT WORK!

~Chameleon~

Sorry Mooloo, I didn't meant to come across as harsh as I sounded in my previous post. I can't imagine what you're going through right now, I'd have crumbled long before now and probably had a breakdown. I'm sure you can't be far from the edge either now with the latest developments.

Please, please, please for all your sakes step back and tell SS (both depts) that you've had enough, they MUST take over and deal with all this for you. If not you risk it all blowing up in your face and could well lose all three DGC to the care system

shaz_mum_of__2

Oh Mooloo whatever next , i will be thinking of you

Shaz

Savvy_sewing

UPDATE
dO NOT PANIC ALL, I DO NOT INTEND THE STAY TO BE PERMANANT.
Unfortunately first thing we had a call from the SW and he said he was coming over this afternoon at 3pm. Twin2 and I had gone back to the hostel, and gathered up the other things that they needed. took her library books back, and bought more baby milk.
SW arrived early. He brought with him a Family Safety Agreement, which sayed that the BF of twin2 could not reside/visit the family for the next two weeks. That she had to follow several rules, which included the place being clean tidy, etc and the children cared for by Twin2.
she broke down, and he was terribly angry, but contained it. they are to have a family protection Order meeting on the 18th with all the various professionals. I was not invited. Twin2 told him that she insisted that I am to be there for her.
After he left it meant a lot of planning.
Firstly for twin2 not to loose her tenancy, we had to talk to the housing. The first thing was we said that she was "on holiday" for a week, so as not to get her

housing benefit stopped. Secondly we had to talk to the relocation people and ask to look again at what properties were coming up and to agree to Twin2 staying with me until Monday, and then she must return to the lodge for 4 nights a week. He is not allowed back at the moment. (i am pleased about that). So this afternoon I took him to stay for a few days at twin 1's flat with her. She offered her spare room and he is going to help her stert her packing. Before anyone says not a good idea, I know, but not my decision. so i have twin2, DGS'S and DGD.
Biggest of mooloo is going to talk to her BF to see if she can have DGD for the weekend. If so that will leave me to just care for twin2 and her boys. See what she can do on her own and encourage her to believe in herself. So the next major hurdle will be getting her back into the hostel on Monday.

Now I am tired. Holding baby and typing with one finger while twin2 is having a bath. the two 2 yrs olds are asleep in travelcots so peace has arrived for a little while.

Errata

UPDATE
dO NOT PANIC ALL, I DO NOT INTEND THE STAY TO BE PERMANANT

Bless your heart, that's a lovely, lovely thing to say to us all. Thank you x

Keeping_Motivated

I'm confused as to why the social worker has stopped BF being around them for 2 weeks when that was not decided at the meeting originally? Has he done something since? I thought this all happened because other outsiders were causing trouble?

Its so awful for you to be on constant emergency/crisis alert, thank goodness for adrenalin and family loyalty or it would be impossible.

Take care x

candygirl

Am still thinking of you and yours Mooloo, and hope things get better asap:o

Savvy_sewing

When we had the meeting on thursday they were going to wait until 8th April for a meeting. But one of the malicious people in the hostel then produced photographic evidence of bruises on DGS. These have been taken without the consent of the family, so that is also a matter that we have to seek legal advise for.
The said photo's were annonymous, except the person forgot that the person holding my grandson was recognisable.
these photos were taken when DGS had been babysat by a so called friend the weekend that the BF had done the disappearing act.
The bruises they say are from BF were actually when DGS fell of his bike. Was something we all knew about. But the SS have gone balistic about it.
(I personally have to be sceptical about BF, but I also have to keep my mouth shut until I can see, or prove anything different.),
Anyway, the same person is the one who called before, and she is a little madam,, aged about 19, who also verbally abused me, when I went into the hostel on a few occasions. Nasty vicious tongue on her.
When i spoke to the housing officer there may be a 2 bedroomed house coming up in one of the villages, but whether twin2 will be able to survive in a village is another matter. I am trying to persuade her that it is only about 14 miles away from me, and that it is on a bus route so she could get to Banbury.
I think we need to go for a drive into that area and show her, see if we can spark a bit, then the housing said if she is willing to go to the different area, and not chose Towcester, we may have a chance.!! So I am hoping that this option may be possible. As long as the rent is paid uptodate.!

Keeping_Motivated

Mooloo she may be vindictive but where DGS is concerned that girl may have done you a favour, I mean we are always so shocked when a child abuse tragedy happens and appears in the news and all ask why did nobody notice/notify authorities etc..we need people like her to keep our families safe? Especially when BF is knocking the self esteem/confidence out of twin2 and probably convincing her that what he is doing to DGS is ok? Does your DGS seem wary of him at all?

I know your choices are VERY limited but if she lives in a small village then BF is more likely to control/harm the family with no one in sight, sure SS will not allow that?

Savvy_sewing

KM, I do not think that he is that bad. he is just young, his mum smacked him, so he didnt know that it was wrong. He has been told, he is learning, he has not done anything since, and Twin2 was getting a lot stronger. She had taken control of the money, and she had got them out of the rent arrears.
She was getting somewhere, and her appearance etc was hugely improved. She had also started to take the children to Sure Start etc. Joined the Library, and was really making an effort.
I think that BF is now very scared of loosing his sons.
Re DGS, he is not shying away from him, infact he goes to him more then he goes to his Mum. He seems perfectly happy with him.
(I was going to be watching them this week, while he was here to see if I could see anything that would be inappropriate, but that is not possible now.)

I am hoping that Twin2 will see that she can care for the children without him, but I also have seen how good he has been with the children over the last few weeks. I think that he has learnt his lesson, (reluctantly I have to admit this), but he has learnt it the hard way, and everyone is suffering for it.
The families future is in the balance.

I agree that if anything was untowards I would want the children protected, but having worked with the social services over the last nearly 3 years, I am beginning to loose all faith in them.
sorry.
The choice for Twin2 to move is up to the housing department. The only thing that she can choose is the areas she is being prepared to accept.
there is nothing in the Town that they chose, so the only option that is available seems to be the villages. We will not take it if it is not suitable, but the thing is that she is homeless, so has to take what they officially offer, or they will not consider her homeless. She will have no choice if the offer becomes official. It is just lucky that I am very familiar and on first name terms with the two people that put them forward for properties.
But even they cannot magic up something that is not there, alas.

Now I am very tired, and was going to go to bed early and I am still up! not good.
Better close down, as it will be a disrupted night and an early morning.

We have the hospital check up tomorrow too.
Night all.