A new start for Mooloo

Keeping_Motivated

Night Mooloo I hope you sleep well. I can totally understand why you are losing faith in the SS, don't apologise you are the one living this no one else.

bertiebots

And just when it sounded like you might be getting somewhere.......Oh dear, poor you .Lets hope it doesnt take 13 weeks to sort this out ((hugs))!!!!
I hope at least they can contribute whilst you are all under one roof, may be at least you will be keeping warm x (well you have to look for some good no matter how small?).

Savvy_sewing

Well I have left a message on a Solicitors answer machine, see if we can get some legal advise.
Today, I have a logistics problem. Not enough seats for 3 kids, and 2 adults in my car. I need to take DGD to my parents to babysit, then come back for twin2 and her kids, so that we can take them to the hospital in Oxford. So a bit of a run around, and more petrol needed already!.
Twin2 has already said that she will give me some money next week when she gets her next lot of money.
I already am fearing the worst nightmares are coming true.
But this time I cannot do this for more than a few days.
I fear I really do not have the room, or the energy.
I already know that I could not cope with her eldest son, as he is a handful, and my health would suffer considerably if I had too.
Twin2 seams to be in a world of her own, and I am already having to tell her to do things that are basic and she should know.
I am not looking foreward to the rest of the week/weekend. I cannot go to my BF's as originally planned, as she would not cope on her own in my cottage with the fires etc. She is already using all the electric fan heaters everytime I turn around. My electric is going around faster then ever!. She is used to the heating being part of her rent in the hostel, and lives in a sauna. And that is no joke. The heat in her room is unbearable.
Maybe over the next few days, I can biuld up her confidence and beliefs.
She has to go back to the hostel on Monday or she would loose her stateus of homeless. The last thing I can do is keep her here.
She has to get a backbone, and get it quickly.
Unfortunately I am fearing the worst. I am not sure that I am that strong! Where am I going to grab the strength for the next battle?
God knows. Cos I dont
I just want to walk out the door, get on a plane and lie on a beach somewhere.
Must go and get my DGD changed. Then get my breakfast. Done them, forgot to do me!!

bertiebots

Please forgive me for sounding silly, as you know what works and doesnt in your family situation. But could you have a family meeting tonight with everyone in the house and explain about who is reasponsible for the little things (like washing up, helping with kids bedtime,cooking,picking up dirty clothes etc etc.) as you physically cannot play mum to everyone and you could also use this meeting to explain that the heaters cannot be left blasting out everywhere as you will be lumbered with bills you cannot afford. I know its only (fingers ,toes and everything else crossed) for a few days but if everyone can understand some simple rules it might make it all a bit easier?
Even if twin2 has said she will give you some money will it cover everything this latest event is going to cost you?

floss2

bertiebots wrote: »

Please forgive me for sounding silly, as you know what works and doesnt in your family situation. But could you have a family meeting tonight with everyone in the house and explain about who is reasponsible for the little things (like washing up, helping with kids bedtime,cooking,picking up dirty clothes etc etc.) as you physically cannot play mum to everyone and you could also use this meeting to explain that the heaters cannot be left blasting out everywhere as you will be lumbered with bills you cannot afford...

That's a good idea - maybe you could make up a simple rota of chores & things to be done (washing-up, bath the kids, make lunch etc) so it can be referred to through the days to come? Maybe something like that would help the twins too - although I guess you have already tried it

Savvy_Sue

At the risk of sounding like a cracked record on Mooloo's behalf, the twins have some learning difficulties. From what Mooloo has said, that means they struggle to learn things, and then to retain them once they have learned them, so they then have to learn them all over again, and learn to retain them.

Rotas are a good idea, except that they haven't worked well in the past - even left a list of things which needed to happen, very little did happen, either because the twins were arguing over who had done the most, or because they didn't look at the list, or lost the list, or didn't understand the list, or forgot they were supposed to look at the list, etc.

They're useful as a tool for showing that Mooloo is doing her best, but that the twins need more support than she can give.

Twin2 has learned that she can use as much heat as she likes, and it doesn't cost her any more. She now needs to learn that in her mother's cottage, that's not how things work. But it's not as simple as 'getting used to' something or being told something - she actually needs to re-learn something. But then that's complicated because she's going back to the hostel where it doesn't matter once more!

Is there anywhere you can lock the electric heaters away until absolutely required, Mooloo? I'd worry on safety grounds anyway!

Another thought for transport: would it be simpler, quicker and easier to take one 'family' to the nearest bus or train, and then come back for the other? Without knowing the geography, I have no idea, and I know you'd have considered this, but remember to think about it every time, don't just let everyone assume that you will run a taxi service all the time!

Plus, do consider taxi services, and out of interest, how far is it to the village and what facilities are there once you get there?

Thinking of you ...

Molly41

Unfortunately we live in a very rural area that is really forgotten or ignored when it comes to transport planning. There is a lack of buses in villages and taxis are really prohibitive as they are very expensive. There are three market towns approx 7 miles one way and we equidistant to two major towns 25 miles each way.

I lived in council accomodation for a short while in one of the villages and was very isolated. I found it very difficult re logistics as kids need transport to get to school etc. I was very pleased when I moved back into the market town. None of this helps Mooloo or her family and she really has lots of obstacles to overcome. I really admire her problem solving ability and tenacity and her obvious commitment to her kids and grand kids. Hopefully the little lad will settle with a routine and structure. Lots of luck for today xxx

Skint_Lynne

Mooloo,

Denise from this morning is having a phone in to hear about any problems folks may be having, she said she wants to know whats going on out there. Either email or call in, you'll get the contact details off the website. I hope you read this before the show ends.

Just an idea and obviously it's up to you if you want to call them. xx

Savvy_sewing

Skint_Lynne wrote: »

Mooloo,

Denise from this morning is having a phone in to hear about any problems folks may be having, she said she wants to know whats going on out there. Either email or call in, you'll get the contact details off the website. I hope you read this before the show ends.

Just an idea and obviously it's up to you if you want to call them. xx

Hello, thanks, I did send email weeks ago but didnt get an answer.
May just pop over now

Savvy_sewing

Well I rang the show.
but too late to be on the phone in.
Told them I had emailed. And was told she has a backlog and I will eventually get an answer.
Got to go. Hospital now.