A Payment A Day Part 4

JAMIEDODGER

£3 for today, sat and sunday

catchooky

Sue so sorry to hear you're having a pants time of it

Wel I'm not a happy toaster either. My OH, who it's safe to say has a drinking problem (he went to AA then said he didn't like it cos it was bout god n stuff) - if we go into town shopping he wants to go to the pub for a drink, while I (and most people) are happy to go for a coffee. I kid you not, when I got taken to hospital with my gallstones a couple of years ago and was in complete agony, I asked him to go with me cos I'm afraid of going to hospitals and he spent the whole time complaining becuase it was Saturday night and he wanted to be in the pub. THEN he went out and proceeded to wake me up from my sedative-induced slumber cos he'd left his key at home.:mad:
Anyway, I told him about the interview last night and he was very pleased with me, but he got in about half one last nite absolutely p*ssed. Then he woke in the middle of the night to go to toilet and stood in the buff in our fully lit living room window. Then his alarm goes off 2 hrs before mine would have (it's his day off so he didn't need to get up at all) and he wonders why I'm mad?????:mad::mad::mad:
He always seems to do this when I have something big happening the next day. Sorry I'm just having a crisis but really don't know what to do. I was in debt before but it was paid off, I then proceeded to rack up more debt cos I was buying things to get him to stay at home away from the pub. He also wrote cheques to one of these cheque-cashing places on his empty account to get cash for the pub. I really am at my wits end here - I love him but he really does my head in, and every time I want to talk to him about money and saving it, he says I'm having a go at him. What can I do????? (except put arsenic in his next pint???)

catchooky

Oops so busy ranting I forgot my PAD
£3 to Tesco, £3 to Vanquis, £3 to MBNA and £1.77 to Next
Total £10.77 today please:j

BeautyandtheBeast_3

SueP.


In a nutshell your boss is terrified of you - he knows that you could do his job standing on your head and he feels threatened by that hence the sly comments, the personal comments and general undermining of you. Ignore him (its hard i know!) and bask in th fact that you are better than him - oh and if you dont already; Smile - it confuses them SO much!!!

SueP19

catchooky wrote: »

Sue so sorry to hear you're having a pants time of it

Wel I'm not a happy toaster either. My OH, who it's safe to say has a drinking problem (he went to AA then said he didn't like it cos it was bout god n stuff) - if we go into town shopping he wants to go to the pub for a drink, while I (and most people) are happy to go for a coffee. I kid you not, when I got taken to hospital with my gallstones a couple of years ago and was in complete agony, I asked him to go with me cos I'm afraid of going to hospitals and he spent the whole time complaining becuase it was Saturday night and he wanted to be in the pub. THEN he went out and proceeded to wake me up from my sedative-induced slumber cos he'd left his key at home.:mad:
Anyway, I told him about the interview last night and he was very pleased with me, but he got in about half one last nite absolutely p*ssed. Then he woke in the middle of the night to go to toilet and stood in the buff in our fully lit living room window. Then his alarm goes off 2 hrs before mine would have (it's his day off so he didn't need to get up at all) and he wonders why I'm mad?????:mad::mad::mad:
He always seems to do this when I have something big happening the next day. Sorry I'm just having a crisis but really don't know what to do. I was in debt before but it was paid off, I then proceeded to rack up more debt cos I was buying things to get him to stay at home away from the pub. He also wrote cheques to one of these cheque-cashing places on his empty account to get cash for the pub. I really am at my wits end here - I love him but he really does my head in, and every time I want to talk to him about money and saving it, he says I'm having a go at him. What can I do????? (except put arsenic in his next pint???)

Ah honey at least i can go home to my now semi reformed bully. They say that an alcoholic needs to want to do it for himself ( my OH grew up with a drinking father and it put him off for life but his sisters are nearly alcoholics) and I suspect you face a tough decision in the future. I wish I could wave a wand and have an answer for you

So, tomorrows another day :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: cos you need them more than me

dankosheemo

SueP19 wrote: »

Mornin

PAD today is £1.00

Things have got worse, went to the bank for work (in my lunchtime)and bumped into a client, was late for back by 5 mins and I got grilled by the Accountant.................as far as he is concerned I have been swanning about and been on a different planet this month!!!

I have always worked in places that have been flexible and always have given more to my work than I have taken. Just in the last month alone I have worked late (unpaid) about 3/5 nights a week, spoken to clients in my (unpaid) dinnertime, visited clients at their workplaces (i am the only one other than this accountant) who does this, offered to help 2 client build websites to help their business, dropped everything to try and help him with a tricky job that he couldn't do..............................I was tried and convicted, now I feel awful. He slammed me for everything, so have been in wracking sobs since 2.30pm yesterday. Even when I eventually defended myself, he said that he was sorry he didn't know, NOT sorry he had misjudged me. I am torn between saying stuff you, I will no longer bend over backwards to help this firm but why should I change who I am................OH wants me to go to ACAS. Couldn't even eat my lunch, cos I was so worried that he would accuse me of taking liberties.............he might of well of accused me of stealing, I feel so hurt and he still thinks he is justified. I am not sure I can still carry on working there, he has been picking on me on and off for about 18 months.............he even really shouted at me about a job and my so called mess up and it turned out I hadn't even done it. He storms into my office and he complains that I have my door nearly shut, he has even had a go at me about how I park

so so so sorry for going on again................

OoOh Sue, you sound so upset. You're a worrier like me and it gets you so worked up and it feels awful. Fear not though. Help is at hand and big dodgy hugs

Fistly, nobody in ANY working environment whether you're the CEO or the cleaner should be made to feel like that and not wanting to go into work as a result. Your OH is right in saying that you should speak to ACAS about it as they offer FREE impartial advice and can also speak to the Company as a 'mediator' on your behalf almost to try and resolve the siuation. They're open on the phone lines until 1pm tomorrow if you wanted to give them a call and their number's: 08457 47 47 47. They're actually open until 8pm tonight (Monday to Friday).

As with many people, you have a job to do and you want to give it your all and some employers take advantage of your good will with additional (unpaid) hours and little recognition. From what you've been saying, this could potentially be a bullying and harassment case. This Accountant sounds to be under a lot of pressure and doesn't handle 'Personnel' siuations very well and lashes out over minor detail i.e. the parking. Just who does he think he is, the HR Manager? :rolleyes: Accountants tend to be like that from my experience but that's no excuse for him to treat you like that and that should be addressed/ raised with HR. He may not even realise FULLY just how much of a knob he's being. Very unprofessional in my opinion. Needs to be addressed. Does he or has he treated others like this?

Employers have a duty of care for their employees well-being and if the situation at work's causing an impact on your health then they ain't following up on their responsibilities! I have advised colleagues before wherever possible (if they can) arrange a meeting with the person and a member of the HR team and even take a friend/ colleague in to talk it through. If you feel that you're being bullied, harassed, discriminated against etc then a formal grievance process can take place and all aspects fully investigated for a resolution. This is taken very seriously (and confidentially) in many organisations and maybe something ACAS would recommend also. A useful link from ACAS's website regarding bullying and harassment: http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1864 From that meeting, HR or someone can look into dealing with the Accountant too and asking what's going on i.e. under pressure, stress, Occupational Health support etc. It's amazing what comes out of some of these meetings and it all turns on it's head!

I always encourage people to talk in confidence to someone whether it is a member of HR or another manager or someone who could help you manage your worries. I work in a stand alone HR role and believe me I go INSANE sometimes and the only person I can speak to (apart from unleashing to OH when I get home) is the MD's PA and she is an absolute STAR. I'd be lost without her and often offers a new pair of eyes to a situation. It does help but I still have a full head of grey hair under the bright red :rotfl:

Sorry I've waffled Sue! Hope some of that helps a little bit? Just give me a hola if you need any further advice or help. But try not to worry about so much as you'll make yourself ill and no job's worth impacting on your health. Have a chat with ACAS though Good luck
xx

euronorris

Hey Sue,

So sorry to hear about everything you are having to put up with at work. HUGS for you!

This guy is a bully and I think you should seriously consider putting a formal complaint in. See if you can dig out the info on your company deals with such things. You should have an employee manual which will detail this.

I would also suggest that you start keeping a diary of all these 'events' (if you haven't already). Note down the day, time, what was said etc EVERYTHING. Then you will have some documentation to support you in your complaint and also to keep you focused (i often forget things when I'm angry or upset).

We have a HR person on this thread don't we? Sorry, I forget who. But, I'm sure they will have plenty of advise on how to resolve this.

It's not OK for him to upset you like this, so he shouldn't get away with it! As my neice would say, he's a 'giant poopy head'! hahaha

dankosheemo

Sue! I was so busy waffling away then that I was meant to say have a fab week off too! Also, it's obvious you're doing a brilliant job and don't let this knob deter you and the great job you are doing You go get 'em girl!
xx

dankosheemo

euronorris wrote: »

As my neice would say, he's a 'giant poopy head'! hahaha

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

The 'technical' term. Yes :rotfl:
xx

dankosheemo

:hello: Hey everyone!

Before I forget whilst I'm posting away, my PAD for today!

100GBP to Virgin on the Ridiculous please mac as it's pay day! :j Sorry, no pound sign on this laptop - must get it sorted! Hope that's alright mac?

I would have paid the full 150GBP but the tax man has eatten some of it plus I need to get a new tyre for the car but hey-ho it's 100GBP so it's got to be better than nothing!

I'm off today so yay! Only a week to go now. Can't wait. Off to Manchester later to have a gander in Primarni and treat my mum to lunch as it's her birthday on Tuesday. So a lovely girly day. Just remember people, it's POETS day so make sure you all do a runner for the weekend!

Have a fab day everyone and I'll probably be floating about for a week bit checking out the posts...
xx