A Payment A Day Part 4

macgirl

Paulgonnabedebtfree wrote: »

I consider myself thrashed.

HaHaHa! We've uncovered the real Paul!
Shoulda known - the quiet ones are always the worst!:rotfl:

Paulgonnabedebtfree

macgirl wrote: »

HaHaHa! We've uncovered the real Paul!
Shoulda known - the quiet ones are always the worst!:rotfl:

What makes you think I'm quiet - LOL.

Right folks. This is my last post for a week or so.
Going on hols a bit later.
Going to shut PC down now.

musogirl295

£12.70 today please.

Muso x

SueP19

angelicmary85 wrote: »

Sue - there's nothing worse than having to go into a job that's starting to get you down. He sounds like a right a***hole.

If I was in your situation I think I'd stop offering so much help - you could tell him you're busy working on something inportant and can't get distracted?

Thanks Angellic, I am not sure if anything will work as it has gone to far, for example the other day I had a visit arranged to teach our biggest clients about the book keeping package they had bought and he overheard us discussing how to get there, as it was a distance away. He demanded to know what I was doing!!!! He said yesterday that I never tell him my movements or what I am working on!!!! I always do when he asks me and they aren't his jobs/clients, so the fact that he thinks I should inform him of my every movement tells me that as far as he is concerned I am fleecing the company..........................ps I have worked there 9 years

macgirl

If you're still reading Paul - have a good one - you deserve it;)
Great advice to Sue too.

Actually, Paul is bang-on there. That is what really P*sses me off about my job. Office politics and the psychological profiling / jousting you have to do to get through the day - it's exhausting. Simply "doing a good job" is sadly not enough.

Try not to let it show that he's getting to you - mind games is the new order of the day!
Anyway, hope you feel better and stronger today.

Silaqui

I agree with Paul and Macgirl, Sue. I think that you should have a firm but polite word with your boss and tell him exactly how you feel about the way you have been treated. But don't get dragged into anything unhelpful because that might be more damaging. And also try and cut back on the extra stuff, as it clearly isn't being appreciated. Not saying that you shouldn't put your all into the job if you enjoy it, but maybe cut back on the extras that you feel you have to do, rather than want to do. Hope things get a bit better for you.

Sorry to see you go Helen, pop back for the banter!

Love the joke Green

My pad for the day is £1, still feeling skint but it's a testament to the powers of this website that although I am saying I have no money, I actually have a £350 overdraft that hasn't been touched - this website has changed my mindset so much that I don't actually see that as my money any more and it's great!

Have a good day everyone,
xx

Silaqui

See ya Paul have a good one x

BeautyandtheBeast_3

Morning!

£38.69 to Virgin CC today please

SueP19

Paulgonnabedebtfree wrote: »

Pity there's not much work about eh? 18 years of self-employment have virtually made me unemployable. I'm the sort of person who would tell him to stuff the job up his rectum and walk. Failing that, I would start looking elsewhere to see if anything is around.
I'm wondering if defending yourself is the right way here. Wrongfooting the opponent by being unpredictable is sometimes a good ploy. He may unconsciously see this as the male squashing down the "weak" female and keeping her in her place. It's probably something that he has got away with many times before. So true, you have him to a tee, he has in the past, told me that I am getting above my station
Can only guess of course but he sounds very controlling VERY. Generally, the people who behave in a very controlling manner are the ones who are more insecure inside. I think the way to play it could be to tap into those insecurities. In the past I have always defended myself with my quality of my work but this time he attacked me personally
The question is how exactly to do that because just as people vary, so too there are different types of control freak. Are you a psycho-analysist, if not you should be
There are people who try to help others live their lives via the internet (like me - it's OK, I'm laughing at myself). There are the passive/aggressive ones who try to pull strings without being noticed too much. This is semi me, more ways to skin a cat Then there are bullies. I'm sure there are other types too. The apology for a man who you have written about sounds like a bully. If he could get away with it, he would probably chain you to a cooker and a kitchen sink and beat you when you complained. When he interviewed me for the job, he got me to do a hand writing test and asked me what my OH did for a living and if I was going to have more babies Sometimes it's helpful to imagine such bullies having a crap. It brings them down to size.
I reckon that if you went in with all guns blazing he would shrink away. Such people aren't used to others going on the attack - especially women. In normal circumstances I would go guns blazing but I grew up with a mother who attacks just as he does and I just shrink and cry If you don't take the initiative, you will always have to defend yourself against this bully. Maybe find a way of putting him on the back foot? Depending on the circumstances, it may even be appropriate to tell him what you think of him rather than his methods. It's probably better to do it 1-2-1 initially. You don't want to back him into a corner that he needs to fight his way out of.

Thanks Paul, if I look back he has in some way been "bullying" me since I started, little things. The office manager says I need to stand up to him................no she needs to do her job...............I could understand if I had done a lousy job for him but I haven't. Discipline of a personal nature is meant to be the office managers job not his....................the main boss will have a ducky fit today when I tell him, cos I work mostly with him and he really appreciates my client skills and has never ever questioned my methods, as he trusts me

SueP19

macgirl wrote: »

Hi Sue
As if you haven't been through enough this week....
I'd agree to reigning in quite so much extra, unpaid work you do. Sadly, even in "nice" workplaces such as my own, it's never really appreciated - it just comes to be expected as the norm. Then you get accused of slacking, if you ditch all the unpaid extras....
I know in this climate, finding another job is not the easiest solution - but perhaps there's no harm in looking.

For now you just have to concentrate on your job, try to block him out (in a bit of a "Stepford Wife" way)! I'm sure the lovely Danko, would have some advice from a HR/legal stand-point, because this guy is way out of line. Do you have any colleagues who you could talk to about it?
Hope today is better. We're all here for you, so no need to be sorry.:)
Take care xx

Hi Mac, keeping my head down is what has brought me to this..............hence the "different planet" comment, I have kept out of his way and kept my head down, since he started on me again, hoping it would blow over. So you see, no matter what, nothing will be the same again.

My colleagues are aghast at his attitude and were very shocked that my explanation to him (of going to the bank for work) fell on deaf ears. One of them asked me if I would be in ever again!!!

Off work next week :j thanks