A Payment A Day Part 4

Greenbynature

Hi all
forgot to post my pad on my last post lol

£20 to kays, £5 to cap1cc

£25

Thisisforthekids

You can put this in thursdays or fridays its up to you, they all blend into one when your on the night shift!!!

The cheque cleared from the dental treatment so another £40 off the Barclaycard.

mooomin

Morning all!

It's only a week until payday for me, woo! So skint...

£2 PAD from me please! I'm hoping to do a big PAD the day before payday though as the Grocery Challenge is going well this month

SueP19

Mornin

PAD today is £1.00

Things have got worse, went to the bank for work (in my lunchtime)and bumped into a client, was late for back by 5 mins and I got grilled by the Accountant.................as far as he is concerned I have been swanning about and been on a different planet this month!!!

I have always worked in places that have been flexible and always have given more to my work than I have taken. Just in the last month alone I have worked late (unpaid) about 3/5 nights a week, spoken to clients in my (unpaid) dinnertime, visited clients at their workplaces (i am the only one other than this accountant) who does this, offered to help 2 client build websites to help their business, dropped everything to try and help him with a tricky job that he couldn't do..............................I was tried and convicted, now I feel awful. He slammed me for everything, so have been in wracking sobs since 2.30pm yesterday. Even when I eventually defended myself, he said that he was sorry he didn't know, NOT sorry he had misjudged me. I am torn between saying stuff you, I will no longer bend over backwards to help this firm but why should I change who I am................OH wants me to go to ACAS. Couldn't even eat my lunch, cos I was so worried that he would accuse me of taking liberties.............he might of well of accused me of stealing, I feel so hurt and he still thinks he is justified. I am not sure I can still carry on working there, he has been picking on me on and off for about 18 months.............he even really shouted at me about a job and my so called mess up and it turned out I hadn't even done it. He storms into my office and he complains that I have my door nearly shut, he has even had a go at me about how I park

so so so sorry for going on again................

angelicmary85

Morning All,

Sorry to see you go after such a short time Helen! Good luck with your DMP!

Pad sof me is another £10.00 please Mac!

Hope you all have a fab day! x

angelicmary85

Sue - there's nothing worse than having to go into a job that's starting to get you down. He sounds like a right a***hole.

If I was in your situation I think I'd stop offering so much help - you could tell him you're busy working on something inportant and can't get distracted?

macgirl

Total for Thursday 13th August is a PAD-TACULAR debt-busting
£2352.55!

:T:T:j:jVery Well done everyone! :j:j:T:T

Paulgonnabedebtfree

SueP19 wrote: »

Mornin

PAD today is £1.00

Things have got worse, went to the bank for work (in my lunchtime)and bumped into a client, was late for back by 5 mins and I got grilled by the Accountant.................as far as he is concerned I have been swanning about and been on a different planet this month!!!

I have always worked in places that have been flexible and always have given more to my work than I have taken. Just in the last month alone I have worked late (unpaid) about 3/5 nights a week, spoken to clients in my (unpaid) dinnertime, visited clients at their workplaces (i am the only one other than this accountant) who does this, offered to help 2 client build websites to help their business, dropped everything to try and help him with a tricky job that he couldn't do..............................I was tried and convicted, now I feel awful. He slammed me for everything, so have been in wracking sobs since 2.30pm yesterday. Even when I eventually defended myself, he said that he was sorry he didn't know, NOT sorry he had misjudged me. I am torn between saying stuff you, I will no longer bend over backwards to help this firm but why should I change who I am................OH wants me to go to ACAS. Couldn't even eat my lunch, cos I was so worried that he would acuse me of taking liberties.............he might of well of accused me of stealing, I feel so hurt and he still thinks he is justified.

so so so sorry for going on again................

Pity there's not much work about eh? 18 years of self-employment have virtually made me unemployable. I'm the sort of person who would tell him to stuff the job up his rectum and walk. Failing that, I would start looking elsewhere to see if anything is around.
I'm wondering if defending yourself is the right way here. Wrongfooting the opponent by being unpredictable is sometimes a good ploy. He may unconsciously see this as the male squashing down the "weak" female and keeping her in her place. It's probably something that he has got away with many times before.
Can only guess of course but he sounds very controlling. Generally, the people who behave in a very controlling manner are the ones who are more insecure inside. I think the way to play it could be to tap into those insecurities.
The question is how exactly to do that because just as people vary, so too there are different types of control freak.
There are people who try to help others live their lives via the internet (like me - it's OK, I'm laughing at myself). There are the passive/aggressive ones who try to pull strings without being noticed too much. Then there are bullies. I'm sure there are other types too. The apology for a man who you have written about sounds like a bully. If he could get away with it, he would probably chain you to a cooker and a kitchen sink and beat you when you complained. Sometimes it's helpful to imagine such bullies having a crap. It brings them down to size.
I reckon that if you went in with all guns blazing he would shrink away. Such people aren't used to others going on the attack - especially women. If you don't take the initiative, you will always have to defend yourself against this bully. Maybe find a way of putting him on the back foot? Depending on the circumstances, it may even be appropriate to tell him what you think of him rather than his methods. It's probably better to do it 1-2-1 initially. You don't want to back him into a corner that he needs to fight his way out of.

Paulgonnabedebtfree

14p from me today.
I consider myself thrashed.

macgirl

SueP19 wrote: »

Mornin

PAD today is £1.00

Things have got worse, went to the bank for work (in my lunchtime)and bumped into a client, was late for back by 5 mins and I got grilled by the Accountant.................as far as he is concerned I have been swanning about and been on a different planet this month!!!

I have always worked in places that have been flexible and always have given more to my work than I have taken. Just in the last month alone I have worked late (unpaid) about 3/5 nights a week, spoken to clients in my (unpaid) dinnertime, visited clients at their workplaces (i am the only one other than this accountant) who does this, offered to help 2 client build websites to help their business, dropped everything to try and help him with a tricky job that he couldn't do..............................I was tried and convicted, now I feel awful. He slammed me for everything, so have been in wracking sobs since 2.30pm yesterday. Even when I eventually defended myself, he said that he was sorry he didn't know, NOT sorry he had misjudged me. I am torn between saying stuff you, I will no longer bend over backwards to help this firm but why should I change who I am................OH wants me to go to ACAS. Couldn't even eat my lunch, cos I was so worried that he would accuse me of taking liberties.............he might of well of accused me of stealing, I feel so hurt and he still thinks he is justified. I am not sure I can still carry on working there, he has been picking on me on and off for about 18 months.............he even really shouted at me about a job and my so called mess up and it turned out I hadn't even done it. He storms into my office and he complains that I have my door nearly shut, he has even had a go at me about how I park

so so so sorry for going on again................

Hi Sue
As if you haven't been through enough this week....
I'd agree to reigning in quite so much extra, unpaid work you do. Sadly, even in "nice" workplaces such as my own, it's never really appreciated - it just comes to be expected as the norm. Then you get accused of slacking, if you ditch all the unpaid extras....
I know in this climate, finding another job is not the easiest solution - but perhaps there's no harm in looking.

For now you just have to concentrate on your job, try to block him out (in a bit of a "Stepford Wife" way)! I'm sure the lovely Danko, would have some advice from a HR/legal stand-point, because this guy is way out of line. Do you have any colleagues who you could talk to about it?
Hope today is better. We're all here for you, so no need to be sorry.:)
Take care xx