Daughter caught us having sex....

Sami_Bee

Pink_fluff wrote: »

Why should your daughter have to listen to you having sex? Is it any wonder she wants to move out.

Pink_fluff wrote: »

Yes. Not nice for anybody to have to listen to somebody else having sex. How would you feel if she was a few years older, and you heard her having sex.

Her daughter isn't married or over the age of consent.
I heard my parents 'at it' and I'm sure my children will at some point hear Hubby and I doing it too! We are adults in a loving committed relationship and like to partake in what comes naturally from that - I think you need to get real luv!

I agree with some other posters, What did she think she was doing barging in like that! (if I'm honest it freaks me out a bit:o) If I needed the loo while my parents were at it and the flushing of the loo didn't make them stop than I would put head phones on, I certainly wouldn't risk opening their door to see exactly what they were up to, I know my parents have some toys and frankly seeing them in use is not something I want to have etched on my memory!:rotfl:

Pink_fluff

Well if I knew my bed squeaked, and there was somebody in the next room.... then i would either get a new bed or make sure we were very very quiet. Seems sensible enough to me.

Toto

Pink_fluff wrote: »

I don't have kids. I live with my partner. But if there were other people living in my house, then I would make damn sure they never heard me having sex.

Oh don't be silly.

Sex is the most natural thing in the world and it shouldn't be something you are ashamed of. Ok, you need to be a bit careful when you have kids, no screaming or humping on the kitchen table (while they are having dinner ). But sometimes beds squeek a bit, and at 11.30 when you assume the kids are asleep it's tough luck if they hear something.

We are really open about these things, we talk about sex, most often making jokes. My daughter was horrified when we came back from florida and I discovered I was pregnant because she realised we'd been 'at it' in the next room. So we just said, of course we were, what do you think we do at home?' we're married and that's what married people do.

The other week there was this show on telly 'embarrasing bodies' I think it's called. And it was something to do with male bits. She's 13 and asked if we could switch it over, so I did. But first I went and sat next to her and whispered.. ok, but if you ever want to discuss penis' with me you know where I am.:rotfl:She ran off laughing but yelling omg you are sick

It's all light hearted and we make sure it's kept that way because I don't want the kids to grow up thinking it's dirty or wrong.

jha

I dont know if this is of any help but from the age of about 5 i was not allowed into my parents bedroom at any time - i was told that this was their private space and that was the end of it. If i was ill or anything i just had to call out or knock and they would help me. This allowed them to have their personal area and space which i am sure they found useful as they were desperatley trying for a baby after me i found out later on. I never felt upset by this.

If i had a daughter or a son who had overheard anything i would explain that that is our personal space and our time and what we do in it is our business and if they were listning at the door i would be upset.

Glamazon

I remember staying in a caravan in the south of france when I was 16 - my and my sister slept on the bed in the living room and Dad and Stepmum were in the bedroom. Woke up and could hear them having sex - it was the moaning from my Stepmum!! I was a bit embarrassed but wouldn't have dreamt of barging in!

Your daughter sounds like she's making a drama about it - LMFAO at the 'toys' though :rotfl:

Just explain that sex is a very natural thing for people who love each other to do!!

Stephb1986_2

Toto wrote: »

The other week there was this show on telly 'embarrasing bodies' I think it's called. And it was something to do with male bits. She's 13 and asked if we could switch it over, so I did. But first I went and sat next to her and whispered.. ok, but if you ever want to discuss penis' with me you know where I am.:rotfl:She ran off laughing but yelling omg you are sick

It's all light hearted and we make sure it's kept that way because I don't want the kids to grow up thinking it's dirty or wrong.

:rotfl::rotfl: PMSL!!!

Hmmm maybe we should listen to pink fluff and never have sex again at all!!

Me and my OH are at it all the time if his dad hears then tough luck its my fellas house we can do what we like. His dad can go out if he wants but most of the time we're pretty quiet

Steph xx

Magicboo

Just want to add what the majority of people have said above, she'll get over it. I remember being a teenager, ah the days when I knew everything and was NEVER wrong! As most people seem to have done, I caught my parents at it one evening when I came home unexpectedly, when I got over the embarrasment (it was never mentioned by parents or myself) I was pleased my parents were still that fond of each other after nearly 20 years of marriage. She will get over it & she most likely either won't tell her Nan or will tell her & they'll both end up embarrased! Put her in her place-which is Your Daughter, not your Judge & Jury!

prettypoppyknickers

Toto wrote: »

The other week there was this show on telly 'embarrasing bodies' I think it's called. And it was something to do with male bits. She's 13 and asked if we could switch it over, so I did. But first I went and sat next to her and whispered.. ok, but if you ever want to discuss penis' with me you know where I am.:rotfl:She ran off laughing but yelling omg you are sick

It's all light hearted and we make sure it's kept that way because I don't want the kids to grow up thinking it's dirty or wrong.

i actually laughed out loud at this comment thats funny!

your daughter is being a drama queen i was 14 a few years ago well 6 years to be exact and i would never have dreamt of storming in my parents bedroom when they were having sex its what people do.

she is older enough to know what sex is and she should have been asleep at 11:30pm so its her fault anyway.

she proberly went to school and told her friends and will come home from school and not say another thing about it.

SugarSpun

Pink_fluff wrote: »

Well if I knew my bed squeaked, and there was somebody in the next room.... then i would either get a new bed or make sure we were very very quiet. Seems sensible enough to me.

And you're happy to make allowances for someone who listens outside the door for sex noises and then complains when she hears them? The OP said at the beginning that when they heard the bathroom door they stopped and hid under the covers and only resumed play when they thought the coast was clear.

It is the very height of stupidity to go looking for reasons to be offended, because you will always find them. This is a lesson the OP's daughter has hopefully learned - when you hear strange noises from the bedroom of two consenting adults, it is extremely rude to barge in and ridiculous to be offended by what you find there.

lostinrates

Toto wrote: »

It's all light hearted and we make sure it's kept that way because I don't want the kids to grow up thinking it's dirty or wrong.

I just love this whole post.

My parents were very aware their upbringing had made them uncomfortable (the affects of which they were if anything, too honest with me about) and in effort to counter act this they fought their inhibitions to be open with nudity. Interestingly, doing this really helped my mother. My Dh and I live with my parents. We have sex. We all walk around scantily clad. We recognise closed bedroom doors and each try to leave the house so that couples get alone time for less quiet activities.

I also have been really inspired by two freinds' parents, both couples in their sixties/seventies who hold hands often and kiss lots. If I had children I'd want them to know that love and security of love expressed physically exists into maturity: although its true, I wouldn't want them walking in on us LOL

OP, why don't you show DD this thread? Let her see that in reality we all hold slightly different positions (no pun intended) on the issue, but mostly think that its not a huge deal.