In bed with my creditor ...

kissjenn

Well done Raini...you're going well. :T:T:T

Raini

I'm seriously wondering if we should go to America next year for our friends' wedding? It's to Florida in August! So the most expensive! We can find the money for it (I have already asaved £1500 for the flights) but I sort of feel like I don't really want to ... that's really mean of me isn't it?

they are a VERY flakey couple, I love them dearly, but they never get back to us & we only see them when we chase it! She text me at the beginning of the month to say she had a week off at the end of June & we should get together. i text back saying great just let me know when & nothing! I'm meant to be maid of honour aswell, but I've had no input into the wedding - I have asked what she would like me to do ...

LB & I have talked about our Future Fun Events and I would like to get married abroad but it wouldn't be as far as America! I doubt they would come to ours though ...

That £1500 would certainly help pay LB back quicker ... but then I think you only get married once (hopefully!) and I would like to be there & celebrate with them ... but we'd never be spending that much going away next year ...

Any advise?

Swinstie73

Hi Raini,

I'm probably not the best person to give advise, as I detest weddings at the best of times and find the ones that are abroad to be the worst! Your friend sounds like a friend of mines, who only ever bothers when I initiate nights out/calls etc. As it is costing you money to get there, ok so you get a holiday too, I'd probably ask her again if you can have more input and if she is still flaky, tell her you can't attend the wedding and then you and OH spend the money on a brilliant holiday (and maybe get married abroad yourselves)!

I know someone who went to Barbados (to get married - just the two of them) and she ended up getting married in a sundress and flip flops - sounds like heaven to me!

Hope this helps! x

Raini

Thanks Swinstie, I'm really not sure what we will do. I text hear again yesterday just to say hello & nothing!! She travels a lot for work & does long hours but always has two days off a week & I sort of think if I can work 6 days a week & still contact you!! I understand if it's hard for us to meet up & stuff but she could text or email or message me on facebook! LB was saying yesterday that we won't go but he'll change his mind as soon as we see them. I just feel so mean as we can find the money but I just don't really want to spend that much!! Guess I'll just have to wait & see what the flights cost ...

I had a shocking afternoon yesterday & I feel most pathetic putting it on here but I weighed myself for the first time in about two months today & I'm the heaviest I've been in a very long time :eek: I knew I was putting weight on but I didn't realise how much!! I'm throughly depressed. I have a slight tendancy to get obsessive about my weight at times - at other times I'm quite content to stuff my face obviously!! But I'm going to try & do it sensibly this time. I'm not going to count calories just watch what I'm eating. Cut down or out (not decided yet:p) the chocolate & fizzy drinks & drink more water etc. And I am going to exercise! :eek: Right there it is & now I have to do it! LB & I cleared out the garage yesterday evening so that we can get the exercise bike & cross trainer out.

Right, so added to my list is exercise!! Yay! :rolleyes:

Dinah93

I dont think it's mean. If people choose to have their wedding abroad they have to understand that people might not be able to afford to come, or have other priorities, and its a bit selfish to expect others to want to spend all that money on them. If you say she wouldn't attend yours then this sounds like a very flaky friendship and I'd pay half the money into the LB savings and spend the other half on a nice holiday for the two of you instead.

I'm the same with my weight, used to be seriously obsessive on counting calories and about 6 years ago I was down to just eating apples and squash. My tipping point is 10 stone, if I ever go over that I sort of have a mini-meltdown and spend about 5 days a week in the gym until I'm back to 9 1/2.

Raini

Hi Dinah, Thanks for the post. I really meant that I doubt they'd go to ours if we don't go to theirs! LB doesn't really want to make a decision unitl we know what the flights will be as she has assured us they will only be £350-£400 each!! LB & I aren't convinced at all! when the flights are more than that at least we can say look it's far too much!

As for the food stuff I've probably been on both ends of the scale with comfort eating and surviving on a little bag of microwave vegetables a day. I wasn't too well a couple of years ago. I think I've just been enjoying myself for the last year where food is concerned & LB really likes his food so my portions have probably gone up as well, so the weight has just crept up. I feel like with everything else going on I'd be at risk of obsessing & I don't really want to. So I'm going to be good & just be more sensible. My real thing is exercising though - I'm not it's biggest fan! I like walking but that's about it!! So if I do that & am just a bit more sensible with food I reckon I should be OK.

Dinah93

Lol know what you mean, joined the gym in February, went almost every day for two months, then went on holiday, now I have to really push myself to go once a week. I like walking too but OH can't see the point!

'Only' £350-£400 each! Thats a really nice holiday you could get there, to a place and time you choose. Why does she want to get married in America anyway? A couple of my friends are toying with getting married abroad, partly because one of them wants to show off a bit that they can afford this flash wedding. I haven't told them that a wedding abroad always screams that you can't afford one in England so you're expecting all your friends and family to pay to attend instead!

If it'll be a holiday you'll enjoy too, then not much harm in going, but if you're only going for the wedding its a huge outlay to ask of yourselves.

Raini

LB is the same, he only goes walking with me to humour me!!

It was meant to be a twenty minute drive from where we live this year but I think she felt his family were butting in a little & they like America a lot! Also, she has a brother out there that wouldn't have been able to afford to come home to see her wedding. Also, the grooms brother & SIL can only go in the school holidays but they're not paying for their flights!! :eek: So we have to go at the most expensive time of year for two people that aren't even paying!!

I would like to go, but I'm just finding it so hard to justify the money. LB has a step sister out there as well so we would stay with them for a few days. The couple are paying for the villa but it means that we would stay with his family (the groom has known LB since they were 3 yrs old) which is really good of them but I don't know his family & I really don't like the idea of staying with!! Aaarrrgghhh! I'm just winding myself up now!!!! :mad:

Nothing I can do until we know the price of the flights I guess!

wendz86

That sounds like a right nightmare. if she can't even be bothered to get on contact with you then don't see why you should make the effort.

Dinah93

Are you hoping deep down the flights come in as being too expensive?