MSE Parents Club Part 3

ladybirdintheuk

Scruffy that sounds great fun - I can't wait till Izzy is big enough for me to get to play on the climbing frames and things. I could leave her in the buggy and play on them by myself, but people would definitly look at me funny then!

feelinggood_2

DS latched on for a minute or so earlier. Makes it all the harder to know what to do.

I've been home for almost a week, but I don't think I can take any more. OH keeps suggesting I move out, so I've asked him to take me back to my parents house. I've send an enquiry to an estate agent, there is a house I think would suit me. Will hopefully view that this weekend, and move in soon. Don't want to stay at my parents any longer than I need to, think they are a bit fed up of me!

OH will pay deposit and rent up front, and give me a months rent to tide me over till I get Housing Benefit. That'll nearly cover the cost of the rent, think I should be able to manage financially.

Will phone Mental Health team when I'm there, hopefully they'll be able to refer me to someone up there. Jabs are due next week so will have to sort out getting them done.

Will pack up a few things, take the essentials, then hopefully OH (suppose I should say ex now?) will hire someone to bring the rest of my stuff up when he gets chance.

I''ve got 6 bottles of EBM in the fridge, and 10 in the freezer. I'm going to express a couple of times a day for the next few days, but when the stock is gone, I'm going to give up expressing, and put him on formula.

That way, when I see new GP, I can be put back on stronger medication. These tabs didn't work last time I took them, so it was silly to hope they'd work this time.

Don't know what to tell people though. Parents are going to wonder why OH doesn't want to see DS. Do I tell them why? What is he going to tell his family? Suppose that doesn't matter, that isn't anything to do with me.

Having such bad thoughts today, wish someone could take the baby away for a little bit so I could do something to control how I'm feeling.

keelykat

Hi We've just got back from going to the park (well a different one this time) with my sister and her three kids, i had a fab time We almost took home a very cute little 2 year old who hopped into elliots pushchair, then my nieces-then decided she was tired and got comfy and wouldnt get out! Hehe! I managed to get a few new photo's of my nieces and nephew, as they have grown loads recently!

keely.

scruffy96uk

Oh Feelie I'm not going to say i know how your feeling coz i don't, all i can do is give you (((((((hugs))))))) and just remember at the end of the day your still a mummy and a bl**dy good one at that. Don't feel bad about stopping bfing,if it means you'll get the help (medication) you so need then your doing what is best for you and for babe.
I'm sorry to hear about you and OH. Keep your chin up and we're always here for you to moan toa nd support you.
x x x

cazscoob

feelie hope your ok, you havent had it easy at all. if your giving up on EBM make sure its what you want and not what everyone is pushing u into.
having the baby around will give u something to focus on and keep you strong. *hugs*

ladybirdintheuk

Feelie - I can't say anything constructive (and I've lost my magic wand for making things better) but I can send hugs too! If himself is being neither use nor ornament then you & baby might be better off in your own space and working on moving forward.

feelinggood_2

If i decided to give him up, what would hapen? would he be fostered or would he go straight to adoptive parents? how do i find out about it?

part of me would rather my mum had him but ithink it best tat he go and i can pretend he never existed

3onitsway

Oh Feelie - I wish I was near you so I could come and give you a hug (and to prove to you that all new mums think they're rubbish sometimes!)

Could you get in touch with the MHT/Doctor before you go back to your mums (like now?). I really think you need to keep bothering them until they get you the help you need.
Would you not be able to stay with your mum longer term - maybe to get you through the first year.

You've done a wonderful job up to now - although you probably don't believe us! Even if you stop expressing - he's had the full benefits of b/f up til now so will have had all of the good stuff that comes with it.

Have you spoken to your Mum today?, about how your feeling?

Lu_T

Oh Feelie, big hugs. You said earlier you were having a dark day, so try to remember that's affecting how you feel. However, if that is a route you're sure about (I don't get that impression most of the time) then you should talk to someone neutral, but perhaps not 'official', about it. How about Citizen's Advice or similar organisation where you can get impartial advice?

Weezl - you are absolutely amazing and I've no doubt that one day you shall inherit the earth! I've done a bit of research myself and come up with similar stuff, so was feeling like I had a fight on my hands, but have since spoken to MW who doesn't seem to think there will be too much of a problem!. She did say it's difficult to know which way he'll jump, but her not having any concerns is useful as a starting point. Of course, it will still depend on 'God' but at least I'll be armed with the right info.

On your Q about choosing consultant-led. DH is dead set against me giving birth at home (too traumatised from last time) - although I realise this is as close to the guaranteed route that I could get. So I'm compromising on going to hospital (midwife-led unit is in a seperate town and won't take me). They def have a pool and def encourage you to actually give birth in one - when I had Imogen you had to get out to give birth - I don't think so!!

From memory, theatre was just a push down the corridor from the room I was in on labour ward, so the journey is very short.

Feel a lot better now I'm informed and will draft a vague birth plan to take to see him so I've got something to discuss.

cazscoob

feelie i think you need to sit down and speak to someone, i dont think putting the LO up for fostering/adoption would help you in any way. at the end of the day its your decision and we will all be here to support you. what about trying things on your own with baby for a bit, get on the medication and take it from there.
you are a great mummy and everyone has times when they question themselves, at the moment i do this a lot. i cant seem to keep up with the house and erin screaming just makes me feel like running away.
please phone for support first before making a decision you may regret x