What type of woman?

Soubrette

Anxiousmum - it is not as easy to withhold contact from the NRP as you would think from these boards.

The trouble is that going to court can be expensive but there are other options such as families need fathers who will help and advise for a much smaller cost.

Once a court order has been obtained then if the NRP is determined then attachments can be made so that if it is contravened then the PWC can have an number of 'punishments' attached. In severe cases the care will be taken away from the PWC and given to the NRP in the best interests of the child.

The reason why people don't do it is twofold - they don't like the costs and they don't want the hassle (I don't mean that in a derogatory way as the costs and hassle factor can be, and if you've had to take it that far, will probably be massive).

It's not as easy as it seems in Canada but it's not as inevitable as one person saying 'you don't get to see your child anymore' either. It's somewhere in the middle.

Sou

Pee

overthehills wrote: »

My OH is a good man, really he is. Supports his daughter, looked after her from 18months old, changing shifts so he could care for her 1/2 the week. Paid extra for things, was always on hand. His wife dropped her drawers you see because "she wanted some attention" 4 times he had her back and she carried on.
So, OH moved on with his life and found me. This is when the games started. Reduction of contact for no reason, told her child not to talk to me which caused major problems for the household. Moved away so I couldn't get my child and OH's child to school at the same time, reduced contact further until there was nothing.
Bint moved this fella she dropped her drawers for who left his 3 kids. He doesn't see them anymore apparently because of her. Yet, she is constantly on OH's case about CSA. We both work increadibly hard, I do, to support my kids, yet bint seems to think we are rolling in it and are now (after 7 years) getting OH investigated.
He pays his csa at what he is assessed at, wage slips and all as proof. Yet, every 6 months without fail, she's on the blower. She even got his child to write a letter saying she didn't want to see him. She was 9. What kind of woman allows a child to do this to a parent who has done nothing but love and want to have his child in his life?
Someone, please tell me, what type of woman does this?

I haven't read the other replies, but there was a woman who was in love with your OH and she decided to have children with him, because of his good qualities and her feelings towards him. For whatever reason, those feelings changed and her actions caused him to reject her. This man that she loved no longer wants anything to do with her, and indeed has gone on to find happiness with someone else. He does still want contact with the child that was a result of this relationship. That is the one hold or lever which she has in his life. All her anger at the way things turned out and her feelings of rejection, heightened by his love and commitment to the child, means that she wishes to do whatever she can to hurt him.

It happens so often that it must be a fairly natural reaction, albeit a horrid one which most badly affects the one person who almost certainly didn't cause any of this, the child.

Loopy_Girl

overthehills wrote: »

I'm not getting into a debate with you, and no where have I said I turned on her. Quite the contrary. I find the whole situation sad and she will no doubt want to seek out her dad for answers. When he gives them to her, she will have another battle on her hands. That of wanting answers from her mother! Where will it end. Some of these PWC don't have a clue. And sometimes, it's not just the children who are affected by all of this.
Incidently, she is a very mature little girl who at 9 stood infront of her father and said I don't want you as my dad. Do you think this was her mothers influence? To a degree maybe, but the head teacher has told us she knows how to achieve an effect. Even at a young age, children are taught about right and wrong. She would know if she told one of her friends she didn't like her anymore, then this would cause hurt. Wonder what was going through her mind when she said this to her own dad? She knew it would hurt, and to then write a letter?
However, I'm not going to argue my case with you Loopy.

I didn't say you had turned on her. I was quoting when you had SHE had turned on YOU.

She's a child for heaven sake - you are blaming her for saying and writing things when it's really her mother who has been filling her head with poison and if you can't see that and think it's okay to blame a CHILD for the way her Dad is feeling then you have issues. Wonder what hurt will go through her mind when she finds out her Dad has cut her tree down in temper.

Fair enough if you don't want to discuss. Strange how you came on and asked for opinions though but then when the ones you don't like come up, you take the moral high ground and refuse to comment more.

I've just actually read that she is 9...oh yes, she must be full of maturity right enough when her parents have split up, her stepmother refers to her mother as a 'bint' and aforementioned stepmother blames her for all her father's anguish.

Yup, she'll be right up there being balanced and mature

overthehills

Thanks, Pee, but if you had read it all you would see it was her who dropped her drawers. Her who continued her affair after OH had her back 4 times to make his marriage work.
However, He does still want contact with the child that was a result of this relationship. That is the one hold or lever which she has in his life. All her anger at the way things turned out and her feelings of rejection, heightened by his love and commitment to the child, means that she wishes to do whatever she can to hurt him.

That, you have got to a T.

overthehills

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

I didn't say you had turned on her. I was quoting when you had SHE had turned on YOU.

She's a child for heaven sake - you are blaming her for saying and writing things when it's really her mother who has been filling her head with poison and if you can't see that and think it's okay to blame a CHILD for the way her Dad is feeling then you have issues. Wonder what hurt will go through her mind when she finds out her Dad has cut her tree down in temper.

Fair enough if you don't want to discuss. Strange how you came on and asked for opinions though but then when the ones you don't like come up, you take the moral high ground and refuse to comment more.

I've just actually read that she is 9...oh yes, she must be full of maturity right enough when her parents have split up, her stepmother refers to her mother as a 'bint' and aforementioned stepmother blames her for all her father's anguish.

Yup, she'll be right up there being balanced and mature

I'm actually quite calm about all of this. No where have I said it was down to his daughter. I think maybe you have some issues which you are finding difficult to deal with. Pot calling kettle black?
I didn't ask for opinions, It was a kind of "open question" sorry for the confusion. It has been interesting to see so many responses and opinions. We all have our own experiences. I'm just sorry I obviously don't have the same as yours.

Loopy_Girl

overthehills wrote: »

I'm actually quite calm about all of this. No where have I said it was down to his daughter. I think maybe you have some issues which you are finding difficult to deal with. Pot calling kettle black?

No issues this end I'm perfectly happy in my own skin and don't have hatred and wicked thoughts about children in my head.

Fear not though, you'll get your own way soon with your soothing words to your husband and you'll soon be able to have your happy family unit and forget all about the fact he had a life before you! Job done

Happy days:D

Loopy_Girl

overthehills wrote: »

We all have our own experiences. I'm just sorry I obviously don't have the same as yours.

I'm not sorry - I'm just bloody relieved that I don't think or speak like you:)

overthehills

Tell you what loopy. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything. Maybe just not responding now would be a start. I have no malice towards my Sd at all and do not understand where you think I have. This is a very sensitive time in my hubs life and I will do everything to support him. Not soothing words of forget. The person who I have anger for is hubs ex. Because she is using a child who never asked for any of this. If sd grows up with issues, they will be because of her mothers influence because SHE is the PWC.
I think the only issue I have with my hubs past is his ex wife and what a disgrace she is to womanhood. (Not you is it loops??)
Cheers to you hunny. I too am happy in my skin. :beer:

Loopy_Girl

Not me sweetheart. I would never marry a man didn't have the balls to chuck a woman out if she cheated on him the first time

Cheers to you too:D

and as my esteemed poster mitchaa would say - over and out!:beer:

plimsoll

DUTR wrote: »

It almost sounds like you are supporting slanderous accusations, I have no doubt abuse happens, it's almost as if you are saying all blokes are abusive drug fuelled alcholics ????

absolutely not. (and drugs and alcohol usually have very little to do with abusive men being abusive except as the way they excuse it to themselves.) I would never condone slanderous accusations, altho I am a little wary of what legislation (e.g. charges being brought) could mean for those who make genuine accusations but where the other party (whether NRP or PWC) makes a more convincing case and the complainant is seen by some or all to be making a slanderous accusation. hence am interested to know how it does work in other systems.