What type of woman?

Loopy_Girl

DUTR wrote: »

It does seem to annoy some of you (and I don't know why) that it really does not bother me whether the child contacts or not, if the child does so it be , if they do not so it be, it leaves something for the child to consider when they come to have their own family if things do not work out with them as parents .

Becasue it's not normal, that's why. To be so detached from something that is 50% your flesh and blood. You speak about your daughter as if she is a business transaction.

AnxiousMum

DUTR wrote: »

Indeed it is, and your final lines summarise why some just 'give in' or 'don't bother' some people don't like fighting or arguing, especially when it is a fight or argument that should not exist in the 1st place, one party gets too much control and power and here in the UK it can and does often get abused

I can understand not fighting over money, or possessions.....but my kids? I'd fight tooth and nail to the bitter end for them As a parent who has their kids best interests at heart, it is THE CHILDREN'S RIGHT to have a good, healthy relationship with both of their parents. Unfortunately, the kids can't fight for that......but the parents can. You can't just 'give in' or not 'bother' for your kids.

DUTR

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Becasue it's not normal, that's why. To be so detached from something that is 50% your flesh and blood. You speak about your daughter as if she is a business transaction.

And the PWC acts is if she is, after all it was the only way to get out of a twin bedroom flat into a house. What I seem to pick up on (and I'm not having a go at mothers) , is you seem to 'think' you have something what the father wants so much they are going to be 'under the thumb', the upset seems to arrive when the reality hits home with guys like me who just say "well the chase is not worth it or required" and just leave it be. Yes you may think I am wrong, but I am no more wrong than the pwc and yes the child may lose out, but that is the pwcs responsibility not mine.

DUTR

AnxiousMum wrote: »

I can understand not fighting over money, or possessions.....but my kids? I'd fight tooth and nail to the bitter end for them As a parent who has their kids best interests at heart, it is THE CHILDREN'S RIGHT to have a good, healthy relationship with both of their parents. Unfortunately, the kids can't fight for that......but the parents can. You can't just 'give in' or not 'bother' for your kids.

Aye, but that is what YOU would do (and many others) but not everyone (I and a minority), I agree though that my poor child has been born to parents who don't have her best interest at heart it would seem.

plimsoll

AnxiousMum wrote: »

Thanks Lizzie - the court at home that deals with custody and child support is actually free - but they don't take too kindly to one of the parents going in there all the time to get variations, or make slanderous accusations against the other parent. In order for any allegations to be taken seriously, there has to be police involvement - and if it doesn't result in any charges, then that's because there's no evidence of any abuse.

then again does no evidence mean there is no abuse? I'm curious as to what would happen if there WAS police involvement and allegations of abuse (either specifically towards the child or relating to domestic abuse) but no formal charges - would supervised contact be put in place or would the parent with residence be forced to hand child(ren) over for unsupervised contact?

Zara33

DUTR wrote: »

Heh heh , I love the way some the replies contradict themself, you say "Or hopefully not for their sake." and then go onto say "but can't be @rsed with your own."
It does seem to annoy some of you (and I don't know why) that it really does not bother me whether the child contacts or not, if the child does so it be , if they do not so it be, it leaves something for the child to consider when they come to have their own family if things do not work out with them as parents .

This is a child, your child that we are talking about. When i read comments like this i think how cold and callous! You just don't sem to care and i know that is what bothers me, how can a person who helped create this child really not give a dam?

There are several NRP's on this board whom i have the upmost respect for because they are doing everything in their power to have their child in their life...the other NRP's well.

Zara33

DUTR wrote: »

Indeed it is, and your final lines summarise why some just 'give in' or 'don't bother' some people don't like fighting or arguing, especially when it is a fight or argument that should not exist in the 1st place, one party gets too much control and power and here in the UK it can and does often get abused

Why does one parent get the control/power you both created a life 50/50 she couldn't have done it without you and vice versa. It shouldn't be a fight, we as parents should be grown up enough to put anger/hate to one side and work out what is the best thing for the child.

I despise my NRP because he just walked away, and he has never looked back. In his words "I don't care about xxxxxxx" i have a new family.

Tell me what my child did to deserve being punished like that because for the life of me i can't figure it out, and yes it does eat away at me and yes it probably does make me very bitter towards the NRP.

Zara33

DUTR wrote: »

And the PWC acts is if she is, after all it was the only way to get out of a twin bedroom flat into a house. What I seem to pick up on (and I'm not having a go at mothers) , is you seem to 'think' you have something what the father wants so much they are going to be 'under the thumb', the upset seems to arrive when the reality hits home with guys like me who just say "well the chase is not worth it or required" and just leave it be. Yes you may think I am wrong, but I am no more wrong than the pwc and yes the child may lose out, but that is the pwcs responsibility not mine.

It's not about being "under the thumb" it's about caring for your child! Any man can make a child but it takes a real man to be a father.

I would have loved to have been able to sit and with the NRP and say okay let's discuss shared care let's agree on the way we want our child raised. Sadly this never happened, and for 13 years i have made the decisions for my child and yes he is my child because for 13 years and counting the NRP continues to walk away. He like you believes that one day there is going to be some huge happy reunion that is still to be seen, however what if the child like the father really can't be bothered what if the child thinks he ain't worth it.

Zara33

DUTR wrote: »

Aye, but that is what YOU would do (and many others) but not everyone (I and a minority), I agree though that my poor child has been born to parents who don't have her best interest at heart it would seem.

If you were not ready for a child why oh why did you and your partner create a child

Zara33

seems i got carried away in the heat of the moment! DUTR it really isn't anything personal, i really am intrigued how you tick maybe it will help me understand what makes my NRP act the way he does as you both seem to have similiar traits.