What type of woman?

plimsoll

AnxiousMum wrote: »

If there were no formal charges made, (and there are reasons why despite there being evidence, that no charges might be pressed - ie, police screw ups etc.) then there would always be the supervised access. Where it is domestic abuse towards a spouse - the court would order a handover with an uninvolved party - ie, the victim of the spousal abuse would not have to be in the presence of the accused.
It's not a perfect system - as anybody can be a 'good law abiding citizen' until the day they are caught and face prosecution (well, in the eyes of the law anyway)......but it does put a stop to endless false allegations made out of pure spite - and you do have to admit, that is used alot just to stop a parent from having a relationship with their child.
I despise my ex for some of the things that have gone on in the past - however, he loves his kids, the kids love him and they all deserve to have a good and healthy relationship. If I wanted to put a stop to access from here in the UK, it would be rather simple for me to do (or, simpler when they were younger) if I had wanted to go that way.
Canadian law dictates that once a complaint of abuse is placed - it cannot be withdrawn - as the police take over as the 'reportee'. So, you don't get a case of a woman being intimidated by the suspect into withdrawing charges - as the police take over with what evidence they have, including statements made etc. Of course, if there was nothing to back it up - I'm sure it wouldn't go anywhere. All around though - it just seems to be such a fairer system for all parties involved, but mostly the kids.

I can definitely see some benefits (have a friend who is NRP where PWC has been messing about with contact reducing it from the court-ordered amount and harassing him & now stopped contact altogether due to NRP having got engaged..), so he will probably have to go back to court to get back the contact he was already awarded (and incidentally for those who say nothing will ever happen to PWC I have heard of PWC being told that they're on last chance and refusal to allow court-ordered contact again WILL result in prison so hoping for his sake that court do point out the possibility to her & that will be enough to convince her to play ball)

Again tho, out of curiosity what would happen in a case similar to mine in Canada should NRP press for contact (police & appropriate agencies have records of domestic abuse, these include that he used our toddler as a human shield against police removal, but charges/conviction related to assaulting police not the DA incident that caused me to call them, no evidence of him otherwise abusing our children tho too young to tell us iyswim, but SS do have record of incident where he assaulted another child tho again no charges brought. I think he may have hit our toddler due to his (lack of) response when asked how knew he hadn't (had expected a denial either way))? Would he get supervised or unsupervised? (As it happens before I get accused of anything, I did offer supervised contact with a 3rd uninvolved party to supervise, he was harassing me to set up supervised contact but as soon as received the offer went silent...)

AnxiousMum

The pure fact that he used a child as a shield against police - he'd probably have been sent for a 72 hour observation in a mental ward.....and he WOULD have been charged by police if shown to be mentally competent. Any spousal or child abuse is not taken lightly - and as mentioned, police do not need the victim to cooperate in order to press charges. By doing the above, he has shown that he is a danger to the child - by putting the child in harms way like that - the custodial parent could likely get a restraining order (and there, if you have a restraining order for continued spousal abuse, your house is wired up to a silent alarm system and police response is immediate if you use the alarm to signify he is at the property - gets same priority as a hold up alarm at a bank - except the cops get a little meaner )
I did work for a large city police department for ten years - and domestic abuse of any nature is NOT tsken lightly. The only rotten thing about that is that many men are also abused by their wives/female partners - I've spoken to many a man who has demanded police get out to the house to stop the woman beating on him - because they knew that if they hit back.......they'd be the bad guy.

plimsoll

AnxiousMum wrote: »

The pure fact that he used a child as a shield against police - he'd probably have been sent for a 72 hour observation in a mental ward.....and he WOULD have been charged by police if shown to be mentally competent. Any spousal or child abuse is not taken lightly - and as mentioned, police do not need the victim to cooperate in order to press charges. By doing the above, he has shown that he is a danger to the child - by putting the child in harms way like that - the custodial parent could likely get a restraining order (and there, if you have a restraining order for continued spousal abuse, your house is wired up to a silent alarm system and police response is immediate if you use the alarm to signify he is at the property - gets same priority as a hold up alarm at a bank - except the cops get a little meaner )
I did work for a large city police department for ten years - and domestic abuse of any nature is NOT tsken lightly. The only rotten thing about that is that many men are also abused by their wives/female partners - I've spoken to many a man who has demanded police get out to the house to stop the woman beating on him - because they knew that if they hit back.......they'd be the bad guy.

better and better maybe we should introduce "your" system then!

(police were originally going to charge him with a breach of peace offence as well but presume cps told them to drop as assaulting a police officer is seen as more serious (in terms of sentence judge can pass etc). I was offered "target hardening" (CCTV etc) but I declined as don't think he CBA to come over (I've moved a few miles away and he moaned enough about coming for contact) and so far he hasn't...)

AnxiousMum

plimsoll wrote: »

better and better maybe we should introduce "your" system then!

(police were originally going to charge him with a breach of peace offence as well but presume cps told them to drop as assaulting a police officer is seen as more serious (in terms of sentence judge can pass etc). I was offered "target hardening" (CCTV etc) but I declined as don't think he CBA to come over (I've moved a few miles away and he moaned enough about coming for contact) and so far he hasn't...)

offered CCTV????? Are you serious? So......at least you would get his violence towards you and your child on film? Prevention is much better ie....alarms.
Using a child as an armour......breach of peace? More like 'assault'.....touching and using a person in a way you know they would not like.......the 'intent' to have them injured rather than you......mad mad world. My eldest son wanted to be a police offcer - that is, until we moved here, and saw how bizarre to him some of the laws were!

oh.....'MY SYSTEM' for any perpetrator of domestic violence/abuse or child abuse, and dealing with those convicted of such - well, I think it would be illegal for me to even suggest what punishments I'd have in store for them....but it would definitely be long, slow and painful