New Baby Sleeping: In Own Room or In Your Room???

Jamz

You do realise that quite often when a death has been listed as SIDS or Cot death the parents have actually suffocated the child in their sleep as they have shared a bed with the baby.

snowmaid

I had 3 children, all of who slept in the bed with us in the early hours. I never smoked, took medication that makes you drowsy and certainly never drank. My babies were fine. I also never put baby in the middle, but rather on my side, with a pillow on the other side to prevent baby falling off the bed.

Hubby hung on for dear life on the other side while baby and I slept like...well...babies!

Hell_Dans_Un_Handcart

I think we need to acknowledge that the research isn't there just to make life difficult or to annoy parents. No, we don't have textbook babies and we will sometimes struggle to do what is safe. But this stuff isn't just published for a laugh - the studies cost a lot of money and take years to do. If you possibly can, it is safer to keep your baby in your room for the first six months (and beyond). It doesn't matter how many people did otherwise and didn't come to anything unfortunate; the plural of anecdote isn't evidence. Them telling you they did it doesn't make it any safer.

Science and guidelines change because we are always progressing, but very rarely do they go back on themselves. Years ago, women were advised to smoke while pregnant to keep babies smaller, for example. Can you imagine doing that now...? Weaning is a good example, with the guideline age going from four to six months. People argue that four months is still fine because "that's what it used to be" and "they will probably change it back soon anyway." If one reads the research done in the field, they'd find that in future, the guideline is actually likely to go further back (many other countries - healthier countries than the UK, such as Japan - wean around eight months).

It is possible to parent with your 'instinct' and be informed. In fact, it's your duty to do as such. That doesn't mean you should spend all day reading textbooks with a baby on your lap, but it also doesn't mean that someone saying it's ok on here should validate your decision

It's made doubly hard for mothers because of all the misinformation available; the afformentioned FSID/dummy study, food jars still saying suitable from four months, formula telling you it's comparable to breastmilk and the like. But if you've taken both sides into the equation and you've considered them fully by yourself, you at least know you've made an informed decision - whatever that decision turns out to be.

Buttonmoons

DD was a really easy baby, only issue we had was the sleeping at nights! She hated the moses basket, didn't like the cot, she wanted to sleep in her bouncy chair, cue me frazzled at 4am bouncing bouncing bouncing - pleaaaaaaaase go to sleep. Didn't take long before she took to the cot, but yet again we had to stay in the room with her before she would go to sleep, had to stroke her eyebrows before she'd settle, this was all before she was 6months, and then when she got to about 7months we did a routine from the baby whisperer I think it was, the pick up, put down routine and it worked really well for her, once that was sorted we scooched her into her own room.
She just turned 3 and I still sleep with the baby monitor turned on so I can hear her.

Pee

So I don't need to be looking to buy a bigger place! I had assumed that an own room is important, particularly for the parent's relationship.

wannabe_sybil

Pee wrote: »

I had assumed that an own room is important, particularly for the parent's relationship.

Baby monitor, sofa, lots of giggling.

squashy

Jamz wrote: »

You do realise that quite often when a death has been listed as SIDS or Cot death the parents have actually suffocated the child in their sleep as they have shared a bed with the baby.

Sadly yes it does. It is a shame that SAFE co-sleeping is often lumped together with people nodding off on sofas with baby, or smokers sharing a bed with baby (huge risk factor).

If a statistic says 60% of cot deaths happen on a bed or sofa, then 40% must happen in cots. I'd be interested to know the actual value of SIDS cases in safe co-sleeping ie it is clearly not 60% but a lot less, and a lot less then the figure for deaths in cots at that.

(We co sleep with our 18 month old if you hadn't guessed :j)

skintchick

Jamz wrote: »

You do realise that quite often when a death has been listed as SIDS or Cot death the parents have actually suffocated the child in their sleep as they have shared a bed with the baby.

You do realise that is usually referring to instances where people have slept with their baby on a SOFA, which is not safe ever and not the same as proper co-sleeping at all?

It is not true that babies are regularly suffocated by people co-sleeping properly in bed, following the no-alcohol no-drugs rule.

Some of the links I have posted have reports on this very subject if you care to educate yourself. But either way, stop posting incorrect information as it is scaremongering.

daphne_descends

An interesting discussion, it should be noted that when a child dies of suffocation then the cause of death is 'suffocation', not SIDS. There are RISK FACTORS that may increase the RISK of SIDS. These should not be confused with a cause of death.

FSID is a wonderful charity but as they rely at least partly on commercial funding some of their guidance has to be questionned.

hayleyc_2

To answer the OP's question, we've only just started putting DS down to bed in his own room and he's 19 months. We co-slept since birth because we wanted to be able to repsond to his needs straight away. It may be different if you're formula feeding, but when breastfeeding it's so much easier to have the baby next to you and feed lying down and half asleep. I wish that the research was more thorough and looked at all the possible differences in sleeping arrangements. Whilst this may be time-consuming and difficult, I think it's vital that the research starts to separate out things like safe co-sleeping, naps on the sofa, breast/bottle feeding, use of dummies etc so that people can make an informed choice.

Hayley