New Baby Sleeping: In Own Room or In Your Room???

Becles

nancmat wrote: »

Gosh I was going to put baby in own room straight away, feel terrible now after reading these, room is v close to ours with thin walls, would I be doing wrong?

Don't feel bad. Being a good mother is listening to what everyone has to say, trying the bits you like and seeing what works for you. If having baby in their own room is what you want to do, then try it and if it works and you are all happy, then there is no need to feel guilty.

I know you get hassle from HV's and other mothers saying it's bad and all that, but it worked best for us and I've got three happy children that have all slept through from being a few weeks old, and we've never really had problems with putting them to bed or night waking or anything like that.

As I said, I couldn't sleep myself if the baby was in the room next to me. I don't think I could do co-sleeping either. I've had them in our bed when they've been poorly, but I didn't like it due to them all being wrigglers and I can't get back to sleep myself. I wait until they are asleep and then carry them back to their own beds.

I found feeding them no hassle as all mine were frequent poopers so they needed a nappy change when they woke for a night feed anyway. I needed to go into their own room to change their nappy, so I didn't disturb OH with the light so he got his sleep out for work.

You need to grow a thick skin as a mother. You'll come across loads of situations where health workers or other mothers will tell you you are doing something wrong or you're a bad mother. As long as baby isn't at risk of being harmed and you all feel happy, then just ignore it. I did various things that others violently disagreed with - breastfed but added odd top up bottles of formula, fed them curry, chilli etc., purees, didn't bother sterilising stuff past 6 months, and so on. They're all still alive, healthy and happy though so no harm done there!

galvanizersbaby

Becles wrote: »

Don't feel bad. Being a good mother is listening to what everyone has to say, trying the bits you like and seeing what works for you. If having baby in their own room is what you want to do, then try it and if it works and you are all happy, then there is no need to feel guilty.

I know you get hassle from HV's and other mothers saying it's bad and all that, but it worked best for us and I've got three happy children that have all slept through from being a few weeks old, and we've never really had problems with putting them to bed or night waking or anything like that.

As I said, I couldn't sleep myself if the baby was in the room next to me. I don't think I could do co-sleeping either. I've had them in our bed when they've been poorly, but I didn't like it due to them all being wrigglers and I can't get back to sleep myself. I wait until they are asleep and then carry them back to their own beds.

I found feeding them no hassle as all mine were frequent poopers so they needed a nappy change when they woke for a night feed anyway. I needed to go into their own room to change their nappy, so I didn't disturb OH with the light so he got his sleep out for work.

You need to grow a thick skin as a mother. You'll come across loads of situations where health workers or other mothers will tell you you are doing something wrong or you're a bad mother. As long as baby isn't at risk of being harmed and you all feel happy, then just ignore it. I did various things that others violently disagreed with - breastfed but added odd top up bottles of formula, fed them curry, chilli etc., purees, didn't bother sterilising stuff past 6 months, and so on. They're all still alive, healthy and happy though so no harm done there!

Good advice given here
That brings back memories for me, yes my 2 were in the habit of filling their nappies after a night feed too - I always think it sounds ideal when mum's say they are just able roll over and feed baby and then go back to sleep but it never worked out that way for me - if it wasn't me needing to get up for a wee disturbing everyone in the process, it was baby filling nappy and if it wasn't that then it would be wind or something!

caevans

skintchick wrote: »

Have a look around here http://www.naturalchild.org/articles/sleeping.html

There's a lot of info on it.

If you put your baby in a different room at 3 months, isn;t it going to be a pain breastfeeding? You'll have to get up. That's why I want mine with me, so we can feed easily and be close.

Thats a bit presumptious that I am breastfeeding...........
As it is, I am getting up with her anyway rather than staying in bed, so wouldn't make any difference with that.

Galvanizersbaby - yeah its the Angelcare sensor pad that we use. No problems at all with it (so far), maybe you needed to adjust the sensitivity? Ours has only gone off (pretty frequently!) when we forget to turn the alarm off during the night when we pick her up!

I do feel that people get too caught up in guidelines and propaganda and stop analysing evidence or using own intuition. Our parents (well, my generation) were told to put baby to sleep on front! a big no-no these days.

HariboJunkie

Becles wrote: »

I know you get hassle from HV's and other mothers saying it's bad and all that, but it worked best for us and I've got three happy children that have all slept through from being a few weeks old, and we've never really had problems with putting them to bed or night waking or anything like that.



!

Well said Becles. :beer:

I find that the worst offfenders for telling mums how they are getting it wrong are soon to be mums. (no offence to the soon to be mums on here)It is always wise to see how things pan out with your baby first before preaching to others. ;)I remember some really naive comments from pregnant women when my two were small. :rolleyes:


FWIW my twins slept in the room with us for 6 months which is when they began to sleep through. They were put to bed in their cot in the evening and then lifted to co sleep with us while I fed them during the night. But that's just what worked for me.

fernliebee

Personally I also found a mixture worked for us too. I was really lucky but DD has always been a good sleeper. I would b/f her then put her down in moses basket about 10-11pm, then when she woke at about 3-4 I would bring her in with me and either leave her feeding and go back to sleep or if I woke up and she was done, put her back in her basket, then she would wake up at 6-7 and come back in with me n we would cuddle for an hour or so.

Me and my friend always say pregnancy makes fools of us all! You always get taught a lesson or 2 even if you are fairly realistic as we were.

galvanizersbaby

fernliebee wrote: »

Personally I also found a mixture worked for us too. I was really lucky but DD has always been a good sleeper. I would b/f her then put her down in moses basket about 10-11pm, then when she woke at about 3-4 I would bring her in with me and either leave her feeding and go back to sleep or if I woke up and she was done, put her back in her basket, then she would wake up at 6-7 and come back in with me n we would cuddle for an hour or so.

Me and my friend always say pregnancy makes fools of us all! You always get taught a lesson or 2 even if you are fairly realistic as we were.

Yes true, think all you can do beforehand is arm yourself with as much info as possible and keep an open mind - I remember some of my best laid plans going to pot once babies arrived!
I recall being lent 'the contented baby' Gina Ford book by a friend who swore by it for her son - once DS arrived it became clear he hadn't read it and we weren't on the same page so to speak so I ended up giving it back to her rather rapidly - guess it worked for her though - if it works don't knock it that's what I say!

Hell_Dans_Un_Handcart

Bitsy_Beans wrote: »

Both mine went into their own rooms about a week after birth. I was fully aware of the guidelines but I just couldn't sleep with them next to me. Too much snuffling and noises going on.
I did use a dummy which can help reduce the risk of SIDS.

It should be pointed out that dummies and soothers do not reduce the SIDS risk unless your child normally has one to begin with.

The original study showed that children who normally had dummies/soothers were more at risk of SIDs on nights when they didn't have them. Children who had never had a dummy were at no increased risk. (If anyone wants to read the study, I got hold of it through the Association of Breastfeeding Mothers). FSID do like to pick and choose what advice they give with rather little logic, though :rolleyes:

It's very difficult, because part of the reason that baby is meant to be in your room is so you wake each other up. Which is often not great for sleep deprived mum!

MadDogWoman_2

Hi,

My DD is 2, in her cotbed in our room (our rooms big enough) mainly due to lack of funds/time to do her room.

DD goes to sleep in her own bed but then any time between 2 and 5am she climbs over my face - without waking me!!!! - latches on and goes back to sleep til 7am - yep still bf at 2 years old.

We've never had any problems with us waking her or vice versa - even DH getting up for work at 3am doesn't bother her.

MDW

Millie's_Mum

DD1 went in her own room at 6 weeks because we couldn't sleep with her in the room, we were both lying there listening to her, newborn babies are surprisingly noisy sleepers.

DD2 is 11wks and has been in our room in a moses basket up to last night when I put her in her own room to see if she slept any better, she didn't so she will be back in the room with us tonight, but only until my cot mattress arrives and then I shall try her in her own room again because I suspect she is waking herself up by hitting the sides of the basket.

OP its all trial and error and finding what works best for you, HV's etc aren't you and they aren't there in the middle of the night so they aren't really best qualified to comment!

emlou2009

you really do have to do what you find is best, our 9 week old sleeps in his basket til about 3-4am when he wakes for a feed and then goes back down for an hour or two at which point we bring him into our bed. if we didnt he wouldnt sleep and we'd be frazzled! we do lots of things you're not meant to though (make up bottles, sleep on the sofa next to us in the day, cuddle off to sleep etc) and its not done him any harm. he's the happiest, easiest baby ever most of the time