Sick of saying 'Sorry, I can't afford it'

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  • lynzpower
    lynzpower Posts: 25,311 Forumite
    Combo Breaker First Post
    I sometimes say, "actually im still paying off a night out on a credit card from 3 years ago. Once thats clear, I can make it"
    :beer: Well aint funny how its the little things in life that mean the most? Not where you live, the car you drive or the price tag on your clothes.
    Theres no dollar sign on piece of mind
    This Ive come to know...
    So if you agree have a drink with me, raise your glasses for a toast :beer:
  • ms_london
    ms_london Posts: 2,852 Forumite
    First Post Photogenic Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I dont totally agree that being in debt is embarrassing - who isnt it debt? (well, im not now - whoo, but you see what I mean).

    You should all be proud of yourselves for doing something about it. It is tough in the long run, however, it WILL be worth it in the end and you will have learnt so many things - most of which will stick with you for life!!

    I wonder if a few years down the line, these friends, who seem to be out all the time, new clothes, holidays etc etc will be the ones in debt (if they arent already!!) - while you will have savings & be money savvy :0)
  • nabowla
    nabowla Posts: 567 Forumite
    Been thinking about some of the comments here. Being in debt isn't seen as 'weird' by most of our friends as they're all in debt too. So why do we feel so uncomfortable about saying we can't afford things? Possibly because it's not the done thing to want to tackle debts by cutting back. The general attitude seems to be 'if you can't afford it, put it on your credit card', and 'if you've maxed out your credit card, take out a consolidation loan'. What we're doing is often embarrassing because it goes against the grain. It's also embarassing because no-one else appears to be in debt: we assume that if they're not worried, then they're not in debt.

    I just wish that more people would own up to the mess that they're in. It would make life sooooooo much easier for the rest of us. For one thing, we wouldn't have to say 'sorry, I can't afford it' so often because no-one else would be able to afford it either!
  • amosworks
    amosworks Posts: 1,831 Forumite
    Tell them you're saving up to enhance your investment portfolio and in a couple of decades they can come for a free holiday on your yacht in the med :D
  • heppy23
    heppy23 Posts: 478 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Thanks guys. I do find being debt embarrassing, and I shouldn't when I know that a lot of my friends are probably in the same position as me and nowhere near their lightbulb moment

    You are "out of the closet" so to speak. I bet if you were more open and frank about your problems you would get at least one or two of your friends asking for advice.
  • heppy23
    heppy23 Posts: 478 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Being in debt is only embarrassing if you let it be.

    With my poor credit rating I can make a joke of anyone that tries to get me to take a new credit card. I just say "We'd both be wasting our time, you won't give me it".
  • MrsTinks
    MrsTinks Posts: 15,241 Forumite
    First Post Combo Breaker Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Well my debts are tiny compared to a lot of people here but to me they a big enough if that makes sense... and although I can still afford a lot of "luxuries" then to me it's mroe important to pay of what I owe and start saving for a wedding :) And then children etc... So I've used the "sorry can't afford it" line too :)
    If they ask then just say sorry but can't afford it as saving up for something (make it up) or if you want then just be honest :) I find telling poeple that I can't make it because I want to have paid of all my debts before the end of the year tends to shut them up... Mainly because I know non of them could even hope to be in the same position :)
    DFW Nerd #025
    DFW no more! Officially debt free 2017 - now joining the MFW's! :)

    My DFW Diary - blah- mildly funny stuff about my journey
  • DON'T feel guilty! Chances are that all those who are inviting you are getting into debt just to do it :)

    Girls night out? Why not suggest a girls night in with a bottle of wine... you host it and they bring the wine (ok... it may cost you a few nibbles)

    Holidays? Say "thanks but I'm saving up for the big one"... which in many ways you are... you're first holiday when you CAN afford it

    Good luck
  • nicoliyah
    nicoliyah Posts: 27 Forumite
    I know exactly how you feel, the same sort of thing happens to me all the time. I am always getting invited out for peoples birthdays or work socials, its a nightmare!

    I console myself with knowledge that I have lots of friends and people enjoy my company. Your obviously really popular too
    Total Debt £2178
    Barclaycard - £1978
    Amex Card - £200
    Debt free date: April 2010:j
  • bonnie_2
    bonnie_2 Posts: 1,463 Forumite
    my friend has the hump cos i didnt go out with her tuesday night and she wants me to go to the pictures tomorrow. my debt has been paid now, but i still say i cant afford it out of habit. or i forget to take my purse out with me and other people cough up.
    thing is she owes £7 or 8 thousand so she cant afford it either.
    the truth is i dont like spending money now. if i do it has to be a value item or a bargain.
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