Sick of saying 'Sorry, I can't afford it'

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  • MinnieSpender
    MinnieSpender Posts: 2,975 Forumite
    I had a bit of a "moment" at work the other day. We were chatting about how we wished we were paid more and slowly it all came out about how a lack of funds doesn't stop people spending like fury. Long live the overdraft and the credit card appeared to be the general attitude.

    So, I fessed up to not having an overdraft or credit or even debit card (my choice - I changed banks a while back and decided to go back to basics with cash. I know exactly what I have in my purse and when my weekly budget is gone, it's gone!). I take a packed lunch to work every day. I admitted to using the library for books, CDs and DVDs (I got a huge round of laughter for that one!). One person asked me how I manage if I see something I like - shoes, perhaps. I told him that I saved up for them. I just about held off saying that I saved out of coppers and 5p pieces!

    I was the official work freak for the rest of the day and I'm sure they think I'm terribly old-fashioned, although it was all a flash in a pan and is all forgotten now. I don't actually care though. I feel incredibly in control of my life now that I've clamped down on unnecessary spending and I'm finally cracking the debt.

    So don't let other people bring you down. You stick to your guns. Debt is horrible but it's a lesson too. And beating it will make you stronger, wiser and more resourceful.

    One day they'll be begging you for advice. Then you can charge them for it!
    :eek: What if the hokey cokey is what it's all about? :eek:
    Official "Bring back Mark and Lard NOW! or else (please)" Member 16
  • Don't worry MinnieSpender! You're doing the right thing. They're the same as people who try to sabotage your diet. Also, keep in mind that they're just ignorant people who havent had THEIR lightbulb moment yet. You're leaps & bounds ahead of them. You'll be debt free & taking holidays when they're finally getting their lives in order.

    (Badger Badger Badger)
    Debt & Mortgage free...
  • mh1923
    mh1923 Posts: 525 Forumite
    Applause to all the parents who are teaching their kids about the wise use of money. My parents were raised to not talk about money, so they didn't learn about it from their parents, and therefore didn't teach us. They teach maths in school, but very little about budgeting, debt, etc. I find I'm learning stuff now that I wish I'd taken on board as a teenager! Just imagine the shape we'd all be in if we'd started our working lives with only student loan debt, and immediately began funding our pensions and saving for a down payment on a home! :doh:

    -Michelle
    Hi, I'm Mich :o
    I won a years supply of Comfort fabric softener in November 2013 - more than half remains...
    2015 survey proceeds £115.36
  • katypetal
    katypetal Posts: 40 Forumite
    Hi

    Im completly new to all this (my first post!) But Im also in the same boat too! I only ghave to hear the words mad one :eek: and I shrink into a corner!

    I have told my friends the situation Im in and they have been fab! They still go out even if I cant afford it but never let me feel left out, the next week they always do somthin quieter!

    What we do most times when we go out for somthin to eat is find places that do deals. Like two for one (last night I spent £5 which include my drink!) or buffets all you can eat!

    I think if people know your situation they understand why you cant always do things! not that I broadcast my debts to all n sundry but my close circle know.

    Can I just ask though whats the DFW nerd club? (as I said Im very new!)

    Lightbulb momenet March 2006
    Debt of £6500 (not including mortgage)

    debt free, not sure yet as havent worked out what to pay! :embarasse
    Official DFW No*354
  • Bobarella
    Bobarella Posts: 10,824 Forumite
    Savvy Shopper! I've been Money Tipped!
    Hi
    I enjoyed reading this thread. One of the biggest issues today I think, at the grand old age of 27 I've decided that many people arent able to accept their own circumstances. They think oh there are so many people in the world better off than me, wearing the latest gear, going on holiday 4 times a year etc, why cant that be me?
    20 years ago people were much more realistic about what they were in life. It stands to reason that if you earn X a year then you cant keep up with someone who earns Y, but people seem to have forgotten that.
    Personally I after a short period post uni of thinking that I should be able to have it all I have accepted what I can reasonably hope to achieve and what I cant. And I feel so much happier for it.
    Just a little interjection! So for all of you feeling bad at saying no for this that and the other, be real to yourself, you are doing the best YOU can in YOUR circumstances. Be a little more YOU centric, friends are great but they cant help you advance in life, its got to be something you do yourself.
    Bob
    " Your vibe attracts your tribe":D

    Debt neutral :) 27/03/17 from £40k:eek: in the hole 2012.
    Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
    RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.20
  • MinnieSpender
    MinnieSpender Posts: 2,975 Forumite
    Ho hum, I'm just about to do the old "I can't come out because I can't afford it" routine again. This night out has been planned for ages and I was really hoping to go, but realism has kicked in and I'm staying in tonight. It's a shame because I'd even planned what to wear, how to do my hair and dug out my dancing shoes!

    Never mind - I'm still worn out from a hectic week and will probably enjoy a quiet night in - honest! There's always next time. Might treat myself to bottle of chianti though - still cheaper than club prices!
    :eek: What if the hokey cokey is what it's all about? :eek:
    Official "Bring back Mark and Lard NOW! or else (please)" Member 16
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