Sick of saying 'Sorry, I can't afford it'

12346

Comments

  • earwig
    earwig Posts: 1,097 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
    just say i would love to but i would rather do this with my money(home inprovment days out )or just be honest and say i would rather spend any spare cash on getting my bills down so i can live on my money and not everbody elses money
    i cant slow down i wont be waiting for you i cant stop now because im dancing
  • Batgirl
    Batgirl Posts: 2,035 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    headchef wrote:
    Suppose most of us thought the same, especially when younger, cos we saw our parents as doing nothing but working and watching TV for entertainment.
    Maybe it is an age thing (now I think having a life is having 5 minutes to myself :rolleyes: ) so well done all of you Debt Free Wannabes under the age of 30 who are bucking the trend :T

    Thanks for that. I am only 26 and feel very grateful for discovering this site at what i consider to be a young age. Mt and my husband will be out of debt by end of next year and then we're going to get rid of our mortgage asap. So by the time I am 45 at the very latest ( prob 40 or even younger) we are going to be debt and mortgage free. It scares me to think what debt we could have racked up if we had not sorted our heads out last year. Thank God we have learnt now and not in 10years time! :eek:
    May 2015 £10 a day currently £208
  • Montymoo_2
    Montymoo_2 Posts: 453 Forumite
    headchef wrote:
    "Way she sees it is that life is for living, but get this she can't afford to move out of her parents because of her debt and is almost 30."

    Why is this so often the excuse for our friends and family to bury their heads? :confused: So many posters say their friends or colleagues say 'you've got to have a life'? What do they think it means? Suppose most of us thought the same, especially when younger, cos we saw our parents as doing nothing but working and watching TV for entertainment.
    Maybe it is an age thing (now I think having a life is having 5 minutes to myself :rolleyes: ) so well done all of you Debt Free Wannabes under the age of 30 who are bucking the trend :T

    Im 24 and realised that this cant go on. It does depress me when i have to say no to trips away (just about to email some friends to say that i cant make a trip to Bristol in a couple of weeks) but i know that in a couple of years everything will be clear and i'll be able to budget for things like this without flexing the plastic
  • DopeyDora_2
    DopeyDora_2 Posts: 151 Forumite
    Hi,

    I tend to tell the truth to close friends - that I'm trying to pay off my overdraft - and that I'll come out once a month or whatever. Luckily we're mostly a bunch who are happy to walk down to the local or take turns to have drinks/nibbles/games nights rather than huge nights on the town involving entry to clubs etc.

    We are getting a bit pressured to go on a 3 night city break, but have just said it works out expensive & that we would rather go someone together for a week for a proper relax.

    I am simply avoiding the girlie shopping trips at the moment as I do get the feeling I spoil people's enjoyment a bit if I don't join in on purchasing (though I am actually quite happy just browsing).

    I know that we earn more combined than most of our other "couple" friends, but they all have much more lavish lifestyles than us, & I know at least one couple have serious money issues that are going to bite them before too long.

    I do think that sometimes you voicing the fact you are budgeting, can make others who should be feel guilty, hence the funny attitudes.

    Dora x
  • fizzel81
    fizzel81 Posts: 1,623 Forumite
    nabowla wrote:

    I just wish that more people would own up to the mess that they're in. It would make life sooooooo much easier for the rest of us. For one thing, we wouldn't have to say 'sorry, I can't afford it' so often because no-one else would be able to afford it either!
    well said, we found out our neighbours are in a very similer situation to us after i was asked to go to the pub one night, i dont should out how bad my situation is but a few of our friends are aware and dont nag at me etc to go anywhere
    DFW nerd club number 039 :p 'Proud To Be Dealing With My Debts' :money: i will be debt free aug 2010

    2008 live on 4k +cb £6,247.98/£6282.80 :T
    sealed pot 2670g
    2009 target £4k + cb £643.89:eek: /£6412.80
  • Watch what you spend your money on. What I mean is, make sure that you are not openly wasting your money on smaller things, because that will effect how other people think of you. The reason I say this is because we have friends who use the same "Sorry, cant afford it", but their lifestyle suggests otherwise in a way that I actually find offensive. OH had to pay for several of his friends for his stag weekend, because they couldnt afford to go, but these same people spend loads on electronics, lunches, holidays; you name it. Someone who cant afford to go out on a friends birthday celebration or some such shouldnt be spending £7 on food, every day.
    I have family that is similar. They cant afford much so we are obliged to pay for them; which we kinda resent because they spend a small fortune on their pets.
    Hence, if you REALLY cant afford something, make sure you are careful around your friends. If you are careless with your money day to day, & they see that, they'll take offense when you cant come do something important to them. Just an idea.
    Debt & Mortgage free...
  • Hey Purpleprincess you've just stated my pet peeve! You say no....they offer to pay...you say no again...then you feel guilty as hell. After I wrote my thread at lunch I got chatting to a work friend who quizzed me on why I haven't been out for a drink with the work lot for ages and that everyone asks why I'm not out all the time...argghhhh!! Sometimes I feel like walking round wearing a sandwich board why I will say no to their offer of a night out/wk end away or generally wasting my money.

    Oh well at least I know when I am rich (he he) the friends I have around me are true friends for 'putting' up with me over my budget years!
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 038 :j
  • headchef wrote:
    "Way she sees it is that life is for living, but get this she can't afford to move out of her parents because of her debt and is almost 30."

    Why is this so often the excuse for our friends and family to bury their heads? :confused: So many posters say their friends or colleagues say 'you've got to have a life'? What do they think it means? Suppose most of us thought the same, especially when younger, cos we saw our parents as doing nothing but working and watching TV for entertainment.
    Maybe it is an age thing (now I think having a life is having 5 minutes to myself :rolleyes: ) so well done all of you Debt Free Wannabes under the age of 30 who are bucking the trend :T

    Tell you the truth I am begining to get tired of her coming out with this head-in-the-sand attitude. :mad: Her 2 best friends are avid MSE'rs and we've had our lightbulb moment so trying to help her. We point out she is in the best position to decrease her debt because she is at home AND doesn't pay board to her folks..typical eh? Doesn't teach her the value of money really does it?
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 038 :j
  • traveller
    traveller Posts: 1,506 Forumite
    Hi, i've read this thread with interest and have really enjoyed it.I too am trying to pay off all my debt.What annoys me is other peoples attitudes to my cost cutting ideas.At work i eat extremely modestly and there always seems to be comments from those that are clearly in more debt than myself-they let things slip,that if your in debt yourself-you get the jist,lol.I just find it annoying that when you keep yourself to yourself not asking for help people can't respect you for it.
    :A Your Always in my heart, you never ever will be forgotten-9/9/14:heart2:
  • My son was moaning the other night about how he wished we were rich - he goes to a very good state grammar school where a high proportion of the other kids are a lot better off than us. I pointed out that actually, his best chance of getting rich when he grows up is *not* being rich as a kid - the people who grow up taking money for granted are the ones that find it slips through their fingers as adults. He did actually take that on board - he is really looking forward to taking Business Studies for GCSE and ran a very sucessful little business in the playground where he bought multipacks of mini-mars bars on special offer at sainsburys and sold them singly at 10p each at break. (I got him to do a proper calculation to see what his profit margin was, so good for his maths too!) The headmaster eventually told him he would have to stop, but made it very clear that he wasn't telling him off; in fact he congratulated him on his business sense and initiative!

    How old is your daughter? We had a huge stroke of luck that my SIL's childminder had two teenage daughters two & three years older than my DD, and just when she got to the point of wanting 'teenage' clothes, they gave us 2 huge bin-bags of second hand stuff they had outgrown. DD was over the moon, as it was like having a clothes shop at home; far more stuff than I would ever have bought her however much money we had! Now, she is the natural saver of the family and can squeeze more clothes out of a tenner than you would believe possible.
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 343K Banking & Borrowing
  • 250K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.6K Spending & Discounts
  • 235K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 607.7K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 172.9K Life & Family
  • 247.7K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards