The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 3

PRICE_IS_RIGHT_2

40SM - as you've already been told by your lovely friends on here - NO WAY are you failing as a Mum. My 3 teenage DDs drive me potty most of the time - in fact, recently I have wondered why on earth I wanted 3 children so much (sorry Dotstar :rotfl:). But on those rare moments when all is harmonious, I know why. It's because you care so much about how they are brought up that it affects you so badly. So that means they will grow up with good confident feelings about themselves -and won't have to drink to block out unconfident feelings. So it's worth the battle if it means they will benefit as individuals in the long term. I use reward systems still - the threat of retaining their pocket money/allowances works best with my lot. Couldn't cope with 'grounding' - the screeching would be too much to handle, and the neighbours would think it is a house of nutters (probz already do).

But signing yourself 40SM to work made me LOL :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Seem to have had a bit of a breakthrough with DD1 recently (very selfish and temperamental person, always has been since birth, stays out until all hours, pushes the boundaries until they almost snap) but she's talking about Oxford Uni - don't think she could quite manage to get there, but she's actually being sensible. :T

Mr PIR tends to leave it all to me too - and indeed blames me when they all start playing up. What a life!!!

Anyway, I think the way to cope is to have treats for yourself, go to the gym etc etc. At least you seem to enjoy your job:T

Must get on with this project

Bi for now x

winebox

Hi all,
Really BUSY in work today might get cut orff mid-post......have read thro quickly not logged in so sorry I'm not a thanker.:D

In fairly good frame of mind to be af for at least a day or two......was pretty bad at weekend. Someone referred to OH's "previous girlfriend" which I'll spare you the detail but can only have been "concurrent girlfriend" if you get my drift...some time ago but even so it was a shock...the poor chap who mentioned her was really embarrassed cos I'm useless at controlling my facial expressions so he could see I was pretty devastated. Haven't discussed it, OH could see something was wrong but I just said "least said soonest mended". !!!!!!.

FUAS so sorry to hear of your situation - you've done brilliantly not to hit the bottle; wish I could say the same. It sort of helps (me) but certainly don't change anything.

Then we went out on the boat yesterday & the engine broke down AGAIN so we are both now totally cheesed off with it, nobody can find the fault, now OH wants to sell it which would be really, really sad. Life on board "Jim n Tonic" is fun when it's working.

And 40sm I'm also covered in bites despite industrial strenth insect repellent! And as others have said, don't feel bad. I've only got the one & lately she's turned into a complete cow (like mother like....) & I've been in tears more than once lately wondering what I've done wrong for her to trun out like this. No answers yet!

Jo glad you seem to have turned a corner, Miss P also that the hurt is receding.

BHB your few beers sounds pretty civilised & not to be 'd at but as you say...try & keep it at that.

Hi to everyone else gonna have a proper read-up now.

winebox

Sorry about the extended moan; I'm not as miserable as I sound!

Anyway.....


"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'."

"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."

"Is it common?",

"It's not unusual."

mollypolly

Aww Hugs ((()))) Fedupandskint.I hope you can work things out soon either way.Good luck....and well done keeping off the alcohol.....Keep a clear mind and eventually things will sort themselves out.

BHB.....Can I stop running now then:D
Sometimes I really want to be able to drink sensibly at weekends...be normal;) but I dont know if I can now and am too frightened to try.Good luck.

Jo...Glad you feel a bit better.

40SM....You are not a bad mum....just a stressed one.....See if you can get some me time.....even if its only a bath with candles and a book....Chill out a bit.

Well done everyone else cutting down/giving up.

Sea78

Hi all

How are you all?

40SM Sorry to hear you're feeling like that - if it's any consolation I feel like that at least 5 times a day, usually more! With regards to the reward system - your eldest 2 might go for it - perhaps you could get them all to write down 'treats', such as movie night, (in the house with dvds and popcorn - borrow films from friends etc), trips to the park, half hour alone time with mum doing something, model making etc. Then pop all slips in a jar and they have to earn them through the stickers - my 14/15 yr olds at school are amazingly into their stickers lol!!! Really surprised me. WHen they've got a certain amount, get them to pull a slip of paper randomly from the jar? Sorry if this is really stupid.

I've been af noe since the 2nd of June, when I had my last drink so on 13 days now!!!!! Longest time for ages, like, really AGES. Been eating lots of sweets, as advised by AA and been going to lots of meetings. Life continues, but I'm less volatile and actually played with my daughter and her dolls house last night, which is something I wouldn't have be bothered to do before. I can make up for the time I've missed and I intend to enjoy the kids now and in the future. I've got to notice my blessings, not my problems. I've been working away at the problems, to try to make them less problematic and so far, very slowly, I am succeeding, one day at a time.

Much love and hugs to you all

Sea xxxxxxxx

jo1972

I'll pop back for personals later, but just a quick question for those in the know....

How easy is Mail Merge and Powerpoint? I've seen a job advertised in my DD1's school which requires these two things, but I have no idea how to do them?? Is it summat I can blag my way through and do a quick online whizz through?

Should I go for the job or not do you all reckon? I've only been in this school job for 18 months and do love it, but this other one is at the end of my road which means I could walk to work and save petrol, go home for lunch, the hourly rate is similar to what I'm on now but I'll be doing 2 1/2 hours more a week so 10 hours a month more money (which isn't huge so not a factor in this). I do love my current job and love my line manager and would feel bad letting her down, but as far as everyone else goes I'm not bothered, plus we have a new head and deputies in Sept so not bothered about them either....

Please discuss.......

Wanna_Bee_Free

fedupandskint wrote: »

As for me, trying to work through things in the best way I can and not block anything out by drinking. Didn't work before won't work now. Sat here in tears today. Seeing if I can hold it together to go to work this afternoon.

Big hugs everyone who needs one today. Makes my finally hearing I didn't get the job (close runner up apparently) seem pretty minor. So onward and upwards. I will not drown my sorrows today because it won't help me feel any better. And I want to lose some more weight which drinking won't help either. Off to pretend my healthy lunch is really choklit with cheese on top.

A joke shamelessy stolen from the internet:

... You Know you're too drunk when.....

1) Your job interferes with your drinking.
2) Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
3) Career won't progress beyond Senator of Massachusetts.
4) The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
5) Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
6) Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
7) You can focus better with one eye closed.
8) The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
9) Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
10) Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, forget dinner!
11) You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
12) You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
13) Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you
14) At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."

Have a good afternoon.

yellowmonkey

Nice post Sea and well done you on 13 days AF :T:T.

I bet your daughter loved you spending time playing with her

Jo cant help as I dont know much about power point or merge mail so dont know how easy it would be to do...Sorry. However if you did sort how to do it I would go with it. It may be more hours but you can save a bit of time walking and think how fit you would get .

Its nice to work with people you like but you only seem bothered about the one person so you could always keep in touch.

Good luck whatever you decide

ym

Edit...Sorry to hear about the job WBF

graemecarter

PRICE_IS_RIGHT wrote: »

I think that's the best idea for some of us. I know I couldn't give up my pinot grigio completely, but will have constant vigilence to keep it under control when I do have a drink on a Sat night, and will never again be tempted to throw all the week's units down in one night - which was my reaction when I first started doing this challenge! Good luck :cool:

If you can do this and feel ok doing it (i.e. Feeling ok is enjoying it as you are NOT trying too hard to control it), then go for it.

If it doesn't work, then try to abstain.

If that doesn't work, then seek other forms of help, be it AA, CBT, medication from Doctor, etc. People stop at the treatment that works, but I believe you have to want it enough to stop drinking.

That feeling like 'I know I couldn't give up my pinot grigio completely' is very common, and was part of my alcoholism for years

graemecarter

fedupandskint wrote: »

What can I say?

Upset bigstyle today, trying to work through things, no more alcohol, so on 14 days now incl today.

Don't be so hard on yourself 40sm, I'm sure you are a great mum

Jo, hope you feel better soon me dear

YM, glad to hear you are consuming much less than before

BHB - see if you can get to a take it or leave it stage and not have the same relationship with alcohol than you had before

As for me, trying to work through things in the best way I can and not block anything out by drinking. Didn't work before won't work now. Sat here in tears today. Seeing if I can hold it together to go to work this afternoon.

Alcohol makes us go round the pain, and we try and bypass it altogether. Unfortunately it catches up with us, so we feel pain.
When not drinking, we are more likely (if we are brave enough) to go through the pain, not try and skirt round it.
Do it this way and you come out of the other side much quicker.
Things will still be painful, but we tend not to dwell in it too long by going through it.

Good luck - you have our support