The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 3

40somethingmum

Morning All :hello:

Hope you are all well . I unfortunately am very very down at the moment . Finding everything a real struggle at the moment . Had a really really stressful day yesterday.( although did not resort to the bottle:T) . The kids are really, really hard work at the moment . Constant fighting , bickering, tantrums , winging, refusing to do what they are told. It is completely MY own fault as I have let them get their own way for too long . TBH when they were all little ( 3 children under 4:eek:) it was the easy option just to give in to them as I did not have the energy to battle with them . Anything for an easy life . I am now however paying the price. Yesterday was spent telling them off ALL Day . DH lost the plot completely with them and I really really hate it when he does this as I don't want them ever to feel frightened by him. I even suggested to DH that he go and stay away for a couple of nights just so that we can just get our heads together . I am now in tears as this is really not what I want for my boys . I want them to be brought up in a happy and calm environment . I am really failing badly as a mum.

To make matters worse I woke up this morning with 18 insect bites on my legs ( something must have come in the window over night ) and as I react badly to bites I now have to go and get some antibiotics from the doctor . So I am REALLY feeling sorry for myself.

Sorry guys for ranting on but it does help to get things off my chest.

Scores to follow . Well done everyone.

Have a lovely day.

40SM

40somethingmum

The scores on the doors are :

THE JUNE ALCOHOL FREE CHALLENGE

Let’s do something different instead

MEMBERS COMMITTED TO OUR JUNE CHALLENGE ARE AS FOLLOWS :

1 – Miss Piggy Target af days for June: 30, Actual 13
2 – 115K Target af days for June is: 30, Actual 2
3 - WBF Target af days for June is: 14, Actual 6
4 – Jo1972 Target af days for June: 0 Actual 14
5 - YM Target af days for June is: 0, Actual 4
6 - Bhb Target of af days for June is: 30, Actual 13
7 -netttie Target af days for June is: 26, Actual 11
8 - Different Corner af days for June is: 30, Actual 11
9 - Eselt Target af days for June is: 30, Actual 14
10 -Fayjmck Target af days for June is: 30, Actual 13
11 - Fedupski Target af days for June is: 30, Actual 12
12 - Fluffyb Target af days for June is: 10 Actual 8
13 - Maman Target af day is for June is: 10 Actual 3
14 - Orchid Target af days June is: 24, Actual 8
15 – PIR af days for June is: 26 Actual 13
16 – Sparky0107 af days June is: 10, Actual af days 4
17 - Lurkio Target af days for June is: 20, Actual 9
18 - Lillibet D Target af days for June is: 10 Actual: ?
19 - Winebox Target af for June is: 10 Actual 5
20 - Mackeroo Target af days for June is: 15 Actual ?
21 - 40SM Target af days for June is: 30, Actual 7
22 - Maz123 Target af days for June is: ?, Actual 6
23 – Ageing biker Target af days June is 22, Actual ?
24 - MollyPolly Target af days for June is: 30 Actual 14
25 - Glasgowgirl Target af days for June is: 16 Actual 6
26 - Nelski Target af days for June is:? Actual ?
27 - Ntc Target af days for June is:?, Actual ?
28 - Noynoy Target af days for June is: ?, Actual 0
29 - Badger Target af days for June is: 20 Actual ?
30 - Openscreen Target af days for June is: ? Actual 0
31 - Pariskate Target af days for June is: 20, Actual 2
32 – Annie_d Target af days for June is: 0 Actual 8
33 - BB Target af days for June is: 23, Actual 13
34 - Stroppy Target af days for June is: 8 Actual 1
35 - Sleepyjo Target af days for June is: ?, Actual 0
36 - Escapism Target af days for June is 8, Actual ?
37 – Time2growup Target af days for June 16, Actual 10
38 – Hopeful34 Target af days for June 20, Actual 11
39 – Biglass target af days For June 15, Actual 1

barshamhillbilly

Thanks peeps .... as you say... constant vigilance and keep it under control. I going to think about this some more and perhaps make some definite plans as it was not just a one off.

Though I have to say - no headache and did not get drunk, but just enjoyed a few cans in a relaxed way which was nice.

BHB
xx

Miss_Piggy_2

40somethingmum wrote: »

I am really failing badly as a mum.

To make matters worse I woke up this morning with 18 insect bites on my legs ( something must have come in the window over night ) and as I react badly to bites I now have to go and get some antibiotics from the doctor . So I am REALLY feeling sorry for myself.



40SM

Now listen here....you are NOT failing badly as a Mum!!! Ease up on yourself a bit. Being a mum is hard enough without making yourself feel worse. There are times when I think I'm failing Piglet and that everything that goes wrong with him is my fault. But its not. Thats just life.

If they're misbehaving why not introduce a reward system (god I sound like Supernanny!!). We did it with Piglet and its working a treat. Depends on how old yours are though I suppose?

Those bites sound nasty....my Mum has the same problem. All the summer flys seem to really like her and she always gets infections after being bitten. Lots of ((hugs)). Hope they are better soon.

Miss P
xx

40somethingmum

Miss_Piggy wrote: »

Now listen here....you are NOT failing badly as a Mum!!! Ease up on yourself a bit. Being a mum is hard enough without making yourself feel worse. There are times when I think I'm failing Piglet and that everything that goes wrong with him is my fault. But its not. Thats just life.

If they're misbehaving why not introduce a reward system (god I sound like Supernanny!!). We did it with Piglet and its working a treat. Depends on how old yours are though I suppose?

Those bites sound nasty....my Mum has the same problem. All the summer flys seem to really like her and she always gets infections after being bitten. Lots of ((hugs)). Hope they are better soon.

Miss P
xx

Thanks Miss P.

I know things will work out eventually . The boys are now 9, 7.5 and 5.5 so unfortunately the reward system only really works with the little one and TBH he is the least problematic. I just worry that if I can't control them now what will I be like when they are 15, 14 and 12:eek:.

On a lighter note ... I have just e-mailed work to say I will be late in and i signed it 40SM:eek: . What am I like:rotfl::rotfl:

Thanks for your concern darling.

Hope you and piglet have a lovely day.

40SM

jo1972

40SM, oh no you don't!! Don't you dare think you are failing!

Being a parent is the hardest job in the world and when you have other things to deal with sometimes it can all get on top of us.

You are a lovely caring person and your kids know that they are well looked after, they are just pushing the boundaries to test their independence and see how far you'll both go, they probably play you off against each other too, this is all normal so don't get too upset or down with it.

The reward system is an excellent suggestion, you can buy charts and stuff off of ebay for sticker reward systems which are invaluable. Or make one yourself which is cheaper. The kids will then see how close they are getting to a reward.

Is there anyone else that can watch the kids for half hour or an hour to give you some time out?

Hugs me dear, it's so hard I can sympathise (((())))

jo1972

40somethingmum wrote: »

the reward system only really works with the little one

Depends on what the reward is, money is a good one if you can afford it, just a £1 or something

40somethingmum

jo1972 wrote: »

40SM, oh no you don't!! Don't you dare think you are failing!

(((())))

Oh Jo thank you . You are being so nice that I am in tears again:o .

Hope you are feeling better ?? . Has the swelling gone down any ?

Have a good day

40SM

jo1972

Swelling has gone down a bit and I'm coping with the pain better today, managed to get to work which is making the day go faster and taking my mind off it!!

I'm not being nice (well, I am, but) I'm being honest. We all go through these 'I'm not good enough' moments, all of us with no exceptions. I quite often end up screaming and running out (I do, honestly!) and this normally results in me drinking myself to oblivion, I'm finding these moments harder to deal with now as I've had to change my thinking.....screaming and running out and downing a litre of orange squash doesn't quite have the same impact :rotfl:

eselt

Hi all

Just popped in to say well done everybody.

Jo- hope your face is feeling better and you are not in any pain.

FUAS- really feel for you at the moment, take care.

Dotstar- congrats!!! Is it your first baby?

BB- phew, your posts are brilliant, you are so thoughtful.

BHB- hope you smell better today?

Hi to everyone, GC, fay, winebox, lurkio, bis-and all the people I've forgot, best of luck today.