broody

myothercarisaferrari

Bit of a random post but I've had a glass of wine so forgive me........

For the first time in my life over the last year or so I have been feeling broody. How do you get over something that isnt going to happen?!

OH and i have been together for a while but having a baby now is not ideal. The cons outweigh the pro's (E.g, he doesnt want one now, his mother will probably stop talking to us, we can't afford one etc etc)

I know all this and rationalise every day, so why isnt this enough to stop making me think about it?

shellnapier

aww i fell sorry for u i couldnt imgaine not ahving my littel gril. nothing was rihgt for us , were we 19, been 2gether 9 months, lived with parents, had no money n nodby talked to us for months, but shes now 2 we all lvoer her and things just worked

TangledMemories_2

Awww...I know how you feel hun. I keep going through stages of being really broody...but we'd have to go through so much just to get to the point of trying for a baby, and we're not in the right kind of financial state at the moment.....mind you, when is it ever 100% the right time?! LOL

skintchick

why would his mother stop talking to you?

The only real problem in your post is that your OH doesn;t want one, but if you could persuade him then don;t let money stop you cos there's never enough!

myothercarisaferrari

I think he only says he doesnt want one as it's more his mum's opinion that counts....she was very very young when she had him and really struggled bringing him up on her own and I guess she doesnt want him to go through that (he's almost 24).

*sigh*

skintchick

You;'re not that young in terms of having children. I'm pregnant with my first and I'm 34 and OH is 42 and we feel we are quite old to be having our first baby (although we only got married under a year ago).

You do have plenty of time as well, but your Oh should make his decision for him, not for his mum.

djdymond

i became broody and couldnt think of anything else. at the time, the time wasnt right so i decided to make it so, so i could have one. the broodiness i had lasted 2 whole years before i became pregnant and baby is now due in august! i have been with my husband 7 years this year, married for 6 months. one day it just hit me - i am ready. from then on it was all i ever wanted in life.

OH at the time said he felt too young, he wanted to buy somewhere first instead of rent for stability, he said we couldnt afford it, how would we manage all the usual. but something in me said none of that mattered and i needed to do this.

he soon proposed (not because of the broodiness) and i said we should try once were officially married and he said we should try once we owned our own place. so we planned the wedding saving like mad and started looking for a place of our own, which weve done part rent part buy. a week after the wedding we were given the OK to move into our new place and a week after that i couldnt wait anymore and OH, although scared (!!) decided to start trying. 2 weeks after that, i found out i was pregnant! great timing or what!!

since then, hubby gets more exctied every day as do i, and although we still worry about money etc, i know we will be ok

i suppose what im saying is, i found if the broodiness is still with you a few weeks later you should think about it and if it fades then so be it. there will always be reasons why it should wait.. not having the money etc, but then you never will and no one, unless your a celeb has enough to cover everything and yet you still find a way!!!

good luck xxx

roxalana

May I ask how old you are?

I have been broody since I was 21 (I am 27 now) and it is very hard.

Like dj, I have been trying to make things in my life closer to the ideal for having children, but realise there will never be a right time.

I hope to start trying in the next 18months.

It becomes harder as your peers all begin having children. My partner is 30 now and there is no way he would have been able to cope with the concept of being a dad at 24!

LISSILEIGH

im broody too!!! i have been for the last 3 years!!1

fortunately i have 3 chilren already but would love another, my husband has said no, so i guess i have no choice really

i had my first at 21 and yes you do worry about how you're going to cope, or how much money you have but all i can say is, you just do!

Mini_money_saver

I'm very broody at the moment too although when i rationalise with myself about what we've planned it eases off (a tiny bit lol)
I've just turned 21 (oh is 27 soon) and we are getting married next year. We've said we'd wait until we're married to have kids and have got finanaces in a better situation (dont get me wrong we're not in dire straights at the moment and if we happened to get pregnant we'd cope but want to wait till after the wedding so that we've got that little bit extra coming in each month)the wedding is october 2010 and we said we might comsider trying in spring/summer 2011.

I hate feeling so broody because i know how impatient i get (feels like wedding is an eternity away!), I just have to say to my self that its not really that far away in the future and i'd rather be more financially stable PLUS we dont feel like we're 100% ready to be parents right this second.
So for now i just keep myself contented with knowing that we're saving for kids and that it'll happen one day in the not too distant future

jack*tigger

Talk to your OH. He might have changed his mind.
If he doesn't want kids now, does he want them in the future?

Based on your discussion you can set a date (maybe not an exact one !!) when you will start trying.

We got married when we were 24/25 and my OH started to stress himself out about the pressures of having kids when we were about 27/28 (my mum kept asking when she would be a granny etc). So had a chat, decided WE weren't ready and waited until I was 30 before we discussed it again. 10 years later we have 2 kids aged 9 and 3.