I dont want my family at my wedding!

Snuggles

Bitsy_Beans wrote: »

Perhaps its how I read them with the little voice in my head :eek::D
I suppose since Poet had posted the same as me but you just were aiming your posts at me I was beginning to think I'd got under you skin a little .

No, not at all, I originally replied to Poet. It was just a case of not having time to respond to each post individually - sorry!

Bitsy_Beans wrote: »

Anyway I agree in principle to having the wedding you want but when people keeps proclaiming "YOUR day, YOUR way" it just makes me think of a bridezilla .

Lol! I know where you're coming from, but I think for a lot of people who don't want anyone there, it's because they just don't want any fuss (that's the case for me anyway).

Bitsy_Beans wrote: »

I feel sorry to parents I guess. They can be the bane of your life but most of the time they have your best interests at heart. And then when the first granchild pops out they are then expected to be the doting grandparents. And how hurt are the couple when their own parents have little interest in the grandchildren (and I've seen threads about these such things) and yet it's seen as acceptable to hurt the parents by not even inviting them to the wedding.
I think Seven-day-weekend has the right idea.

That's the bit I have difficulty with - if my parents have my best interests at heart (and I know they do), and they know me well enough to realise that I would not enjoy a wedding with people watching me, I would feel so hurt if they still expected me to have that wedding. In my own case, if I could just invite my mum and dad, then that would be ok, but it's not that simple. My Dad would want to bring a girlfriend who I barely know, my Mum would bring her husband who I have a difficult relationship with, and if those people were there, my sisters would expect to be invited along with their OH's and children, and it would just snowball into they type of wedding I have always dreaded.

I just want to be able to relax and enjoy the most important day of my life with the most important person in my life (my OH!). I feel sad at the idea that my parents would see that as some sort of slap in the face, and I hope that they wouldn't.

I guess we'll never agree on this one!

BuddyBonthenet

Snuggles wrote: »

...I guess we'll never agree on this one!

We could say the phrase 'one size fits all' definitely doesn't apply to weddings! :rotfl:

seven-day-weekend

I don't know whether this is relevant to your circumstances, but when I got married 38 years ago, the small room in the registry office would only hold twelve people (including us and the registrar), so only nine guests. There was also a large room, but it was not avavilable on the day we wanted.

Maybe you could see if your registry office has a 'small' room and do the deed there before going abroad? Then you could only invite your nearest and dearest - Mum and Dad, although I do think they would have to bring their partners, but the ceremony only lasts about fifteen minutes.

Then have your 'real' wedding abroad.

allIcouldwishfor

So what did you decide OP?

aligerdie

tori.k wrote: »

Its your day,not your families.....but me and hubby did the "just the two of us" in Mauritius it is my only regret...sometimes it just seems easier to run off then have the hassle.
But it will always be my biggest regret, i turned into a bag of nerves and wanted my mum there with me,i never felt so alone then on my wedding day,TBH i dont feel like i ever really got married (not that it changes your life in any way really)
i will always regret not having a really small civil sevices.
so please think long and hard about escaping as i would hate for anyone to feel the way i do about my own wedding, have a fantastic day whatever you decide....

Just caught up with this thread, and this post struck a chord with me.

when we got married we weren't planning on going abroad to get married, we had planned a small civil ceremony in the uk with a few close friends and family invited. I didn't want anything big as I would be 7 months pregnant on our wedding day.
Unfortunately, on the morning of what would have been our wedding day, I got rushed to hospital suffering with severe complications of pre-eclampsia, and my hubby was told I may not make it and we lost our daughter.
I was in hospital for a week and during that time, I was adamant I wanted to get married still. The thought of planning it all again was too much.
So hubby rang the registry office, and they slotted us in the day after I left hospital.

Alot of people couldn't make it, but my mum decided to go away that weekend, knowing fully what we would be doing, yet she booked it anyway.

The ceremony was quiet, which was lovely, and we have some lovely photos from outside with a few friends and my brother. However, the morning of our wedding, it really sunk in that my mum wasnt going to be there, and that really hurt me.

I missed my mum, my dad couldn't make it either, but she was the 1 person who I wanted to see me get married. I didn't think it would bother me, but it did when it came down to it. However, I don't regret doing it the way we did, we wanted to be married the day of the funeral.

Our wedding seemed surreal, sometimes it feels like we didn't really get married because there was no one there to celebrate with us really. I would think think about a party, or blessing ceremony in the uk so you have the opportunity to celebrate with your family. Thats one thing I wish we had done, and will always regret it.

Good luck with your wedding whatever you decide.