The ultimate incentive worked! Now onto phase two

Tete_en_l'Air

Dinah93 wrote: »

I accidentally chose things to stay at this stage and that's still bugging me!

How do you mean?

Dinah93

The whole stopping him proposing thing - just seems awful that cos I stopped him he kind of just assumes now and the romance has all gone cos he knows I'll just ruin it!

Happytogetdebtfree

tut dinah, dont think that stops a man he might want to wait till the time is right.... its hard been romanatic when its work and savings all the time but im sure he does plenty romantic for you snuggles and cuddles ahhhhhh love

Tete_en_l'Air

But you have the excitement of knowing that he will propose but never knowing quite when or how. At least you know he will one day and that you do have all that to look forward to, that it's not just going to be this for ever and ever. You have so much to look forward to and are only at the beginning of your adventure together. It's like Happy says, we're not in the movies, it can't be a whirlwind of excitement every day. Even if your only plan for the day is to walk the dog or whatever, just enjoy being with him if he makes you the happiest you've ever been.

Dinah93

I'm just impatient at the moment, can't explain it. Think part of it is to do with my ongoing blue mood. I guess clearing the debts was a challenge to work towards, but saving £40k for a deposit seems impossible, so I'm in a flunk about it. We seem to have been just under 2k for ages now. We're also lagging a lot on the £20 a day challenge. We know we're due about £300 in MS money at the end of the month, but atm it just feels like wading through treacle. And I'm hungry and that always makes me pouty.

Birdie85

Very nice words from Tete and Happy, listen to them Dinah! And eat something sweet, that'll make things better! Would you feel better if you broke the deposit down into more manageable chunks and aimed to hit each smaller target over 6 month periods, for instance?

I've left OH at home in a mega sulk. I had a go at him at lunchtime about his tidying, sparked by the fact that I'd taken a magazine into the living room to read, left it on top of the bookcase whilst I put away some shopping and when I went back for it he'd put it in the spare room along with my handbag and jumper. I picked up the magazine, put it on the sofa then turned around and started making lunch. I turned back to the sofa and the magazine was gone AGAIN! I told him that he'd moved it twice and I was planning on sitting down and looking at it for 10 minutes 'if that's OK with YOU' and he said 'But you're not reading it now so it doesn't need to be out'!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went into the spare room, shut the door and only came back out to pick up my lunch, which I took back in with me. I'm so sick of his behaviour I don't know what to do, he makes me feel like a visitor in my own house.

Anyway, why is HE in a sulk you ask! He can't handle being sulked at and really can't deal with me standing up for myself because I'm generally so easy going and don't bother arguing back that when I do he tries to turn it around on me and makes me feel bad. Not this time! I just told him to have a nice evening and left him sulking on the sofa. Childish git, typical youngest child can't handle not getting his own way!

Dinah93

Grief his tidying sounds nightmarish Birdie! Does he not get how bad this is making you feel. I'm sorry but putting something down for ten mins and moving it twice is ridiculous. My limit is about three days, if someone puts something out eg a hobby fine, but if they put it down and don't touch it again for 3 days it gets tidied away, they can get it out again when they actually want it again.

That said our room is scary atm, there are just piles of nice ironed ironing on the floor and canvases and the huge ebay pile, but we don't have much space atm so I just accept it, I know it only gets messier if its all shoved in a drawer and everything gets damaged or has to be pulled out again so I can find something (always at the bottom of the drawer!).

Tete_en_l'Air

Birdie I think your OH might have a bit of cabin fever what with being off work so long. He'll be alone in the house a lot and maybe small things are taking on more importance for him at the minute. It's probably boredom more than anything. I'm sure it'll get better once he's back in the real world again!

(Actually are you sure he's not doing it deliberately to wind you up?)

Dinah93

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

(Actually are you sure he's not doing it deliberately to wind you up?)

Okay unless you happen to have absolutely exceptional make up sex, why would a man do this? I'm the first to admit I don't understand men, but why would they cause an arguement.

How much longer is he off work? Is there nothing he can do to keep him busy?

Tete_en_l'Air

Because he thinks it's funny? I don't know how their minds work, just an idea!