Please, please advise

newlysingle_2

Just a quick update, I went round today for a bit of distraction. We went on a lovely picnic in the park, just had something to eat, read magazines, and a bit of a gossip. After when we went home, she started to open up. She wont open up fully until after she knows what is happening. But it was good to listen to her talking about it. She wont let herself get stressed about it- not good for baby, but feel she is accepting everything might not be as planned.

Will update further after hospital tomorrow.

Newly single xx

Stephb1986_2

I just wanted to wish you all luck for tomorrow and I hope it was a false alarm.

Thinking of you at this tough time

Steph xx

CarliJ

I just wanted to send my hugs to you xx

C xx

newlysingle_2

Everyone has been so nice on here, would just like to say a massive thank you. xxxx This forum has allowed me to vent all my frustrations, and clear my head. I am strong enough to deal with whatever happens today. And if I do feel down, know I can come on here. Thank you. xxx

emmylou28

Firstly I'm really, really sorry that your family member has to go through this - she's really lucky so have someone as supportive as you though.

Secondly, I've recently given birth to a gorgeous baby girl who has undiagnosed spina bifida. All of my antenatal tests / scans failed to pick this up and I was told I everything was 'normal' throughout. She was delivered by emergency c-section and hubby and I were told that 'she's alive but not perfect'. Since then she has had an operation to close her back (the fluid sac which contained the membranes etc had burst) and she's progressing really well.

It's taken me the last three weeks and alot of crying, questioning etc. but the bottom line is my daughter is a beautiful otherwise healthy baby just like any other! Yes, she has some further appointments lined up and she'll probably need a something fitted over the next month to drain excess fluid in the brain (shunt) but, her legs work, all other organs appear fine and although she may have some bladder and bowel control issues - big deal!

I'm glad in a way that it wasn't diagnosed - to be faced with what your family member is would have been awful but I just wanted to say, whatever she decides will be the right choice for her, but, if she decides to go through with the pregnancy her baby will be beautiful whatever the diagnosis. To be honest I probably wouldn't have continued with my pregnancy had I known but I'm so, so glad I did now.

I don't know a great deal about the condition or the challenges we're going to face but if you / your family member wants someone to talk to who's going through it at the mo then pm me.

Take care, hope all goes well today

tiamai_d

She sounds like she is trying to do the best with what she has got. Not panic, stay calm and deal with things as and when they happen. If her baby comes along with problems, she will cope just fine. Wishing her all the best. And you.

luxor4t

Thinking of your cousin, yourself & your family. Wishing you all the best.

Hectors_House

Anybody facing these tough decisions where Spina Bifida is concerned might like to check out the band Mystery Jets.

Blaine Harrison is a wonderfully creative young man and has been brought up to think of what he can achieve, not what obstacles are in his way.

He has to be careful, of course not to push himself too hard but I've never seen him struggle to get around the venues they play.

He has a strong support network around him and it sounds - should this be the outcome with the baby in this case it is supportive friends like the OP that will make all the difference.

seven-day-weekend

Some young friends of ours had a similar thing happen in their first pregnancy, their baby's brain had not developed normally - we didn't know them well at the time, but I think she delivered at 20 weeks, the baby was stillborn.

I'm glad to say that two years later they have an adorable eight-month old baby girl called Isabel (who is our adopted grand-daughter!).

Just be a good friend to the young woman and let her scream, cry, rant, rave, ask questions, just be there for her with a big woolly arm and a hug.

And also, carry on supporting her if she decides to go to term and then keep the baby. She will meet a lot of opposition.

Wishing you all well.

LilMissEmmylou

thinking of u and ur friend today at her appointment. *hugs*