Please, please advise

mrcow

newlysingle wrote: »

Back from the hospital, and it is not good news. They have confirmed the baby has severe spina bifida. They have said that the baby would not be able to walk, or do anything for himself. She was asked to decide there and then what she wanted to do. She has refused and will think about everything and contact them tomorrow. They didn't even tell her she would have to deliver the baby, until prompted. I have told her I will support her whatever she decides. I just wish I could take away the pain.

It's really nice that she had a trusted friend to go with today. It must have been very difficult for you too, but having someone who's willing to hold your hand through stuff like this means so much, you can't even say.

The whole thing is just awful and it's such an unfair world at times. Good luck to you both.

Stephb1986_2

Oh lord I wished so much that everything was fine I'm so sorry. Atleast she has your support through this.

Steph xx

Curious_George_2

im so sorry to hear this news, its heart breaking
the exact same thing happened to a couple who are very good friends of mine, and i always thought it was wrong that they had to go through the trauma of actually labouring and delivering the baby, you would think there could be another way

if its any consolation to you and your cousin, they have gone on to have two very healthy children

again, im so sorry

skintchick

I'm sorry to hear the news.

This organisation may be able to help her with her decision-making http://www.asbah.org/

As a future note, did she take folic acid while trying to conceive and in the first trimester? Perhaps go easy on this info right now, but if folic acid is taken during this early stage it can reduce cases of spina bifida by 70 per cent. I'm sure she doesn;t need to knwo it right now as she will be feeling bad enough and you don;t want to make her feel guilty, but perhaps next time she tries to get pregnant you could mention it to her?

It's worth remembering that they do not know for certain what the baby would or would not be able to do, and they tend to err on the side of pessimism, so it may be that should she have the baby, it would have more capabailities than they are predicting.

It's a hard decision for her. :A

skintchick

Curious_George wrote: »

im so sorry to hear this news, its heart breaking
the exact same thing happened to a couple who are very good friends of mine, and i always thought it was wrong that they had to go through the trauma of actually labouring and delivering the baby, you would think there could be another way

if its any consolation to you and your cousin, they have gone on to have two very healthy children

again, im so sorry

The only other way would be a C-section and that is major surgery with a six-week recovery time. I'm not sure that would be any better. Sadly, this far on in the pregnancy, there aren't really many options on getting the baby out.

Becles

newlysingle wrote: »

Back from the hospital, and it is not good news. They have confirmed the baby has severe spina bifida. They have said that the baby would not be able to walk, or do anything for himself. She was asked to decide there and then what she wanted to do. She has refused and will think about everything and contact them tomorrow. They didn't even tell her she would have to deliver the baby, until prompted. I have told her I will support her whatever she decides. I just wish I could take away the pain.

I'm so sorry to hear that. I was hoping and praying it would be good news.

Stay strong and hope she can make a decision on what to do soon. I know this will be hard to do.

tattoed_bum

this must be such a difficult decision ,and such a heartbreaking one ,i can understand why she wouldnt want to make such a life changing decision in a split second .
do they have a counciller to speak to .

elainew

I'm afriad she will have to deliver naturally--there is no way they would give you a csection.
For gawds sake PLEASE dont mention she should have taken folic acid--its not her fault her baby has spinabifida--it can be sadly just a sad twist of nature. I took a high dose folic acid and my baby still died. Its up to her GP to discuss that with her.
Its sounds like the baby has acrania if the skull shape is distorted. My friends baby had no skull and would have died immediatly at birth--she chose the option of letting her go--she too took folic acid!!!

Just be there for her whatever she decides to do--I wish my friends were as caring when I lost my wee boy xxx

MinniMe_2

I really have no advice - but just wanted to let you know my thoughts are with you and all your family. Please come on here and talk with us - you too need support

Bitsy_Beans

I am really sorry it wasn't more positive news. I hope she makes the decision that's right for her. Good on you for supporting her.