Please, please advise

Mely

amani wrote: »

newlysingle I am so sorry for your cousin and I know exactly what she is going through, I also had to decide there and then what to do. As I said before this happened to me 19yrs ago, and it angers me that the doctors still have the same attitude they were also very matter of fact with me and offered no counselling.

When I read your post, it could have been me sat there all those years ago. the night I gave birth to my baby I remember crying myself to sleep.


AMANI XXX

Amani... i know how you feel ((((hugs)))).
Mel xxXxx

newlysingle_2

Thank you for that, I have spoken to her mum about taking her to the dr to see about counselling. Think it is starting to affect her now. Her milk has started coming in, an I think she is feeling the 'baby blues'. Went round today and she just slept- which she needs. Have told her mum I am there whenever any of them need me. At the moment everyone is around her so am going to back off a little, I think when everyone else stops coming round it will affect her more. I however am not going to do that. I will let her have her time will her friends and family, whilst being in the background, and will be there when everyone else goes back to normality.

Curious_George_2

the best advice i can give you is not to treat her differently because of it,
too many people dissapear after a bereavement because they dont know what to say, some people wont even give you eye contact anymore as they have no idea how to deal with it,

if she wants to talk about the baby, then talk
if she wants to talk about anything else then do that just like you always would
if she shouts and says horrible things to you, try to be strong and remember she doesnt really mean it, she will be very angry with nobody to blame

and if you need someone to vent at / talk too / whatever... then theres always someone knocking around here with a friendly ear
take care

msb5262

Well said to Curious George. Hope you're getting through the hours and days ok, Newlysingle.
Thinking of you
MsB

Stephb1986_2

I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you at this sad time.

Steph xx

Bettyboop

How sad. RIP little baby. The good Lord is taking care of him. All the best to your cousin. Not sure if it's been mentioned but she can ask for a Chaplain in the hospital. Hope you are okay. x

Crispy_Ambulance

Very sad news - I'm glad your cousin has you to support her, and I hope you get some support also.

newlysingle_2

Thank you for your advice the hospital chaplin did the blessing and left a card for her incase she wants to speak to him. I am not going to treat her any differently, but I know that everyone will rush round at the moment and then in a couple of weeks will just get on with there own lives- which they are entitled to do. I just want to step back while her own friends are around, let her have time with them, as I am always here- as she knows and told baby's dad. Had a lovely time before looking at baby pictures with her. Only prob I have now is trying to do my O.U. assignment which is due in 2 weeks. The question is: ' Access to specialised knowledge makes decision making easier in contemporary society.' - using examples of medical knowledge. Arrrgh, of all the assignments, gonna phone my tutor tonight it is a bit close to home at the moment, and don't want to risk making it to personal.

Becles

Hope you get sorted with the OU. I'm studying with them and they are usually helpful if you've got problems with study.

I was thinking today, would your cousin like to do something in memory of the baby. I was thinking along the lines of planting a tree or a rose bush or something else that she likes and will get pleasure from for a long time.

Mely

Ive been thinking of you and your cousin during today. I wouldnt wish your situation on my worst enemy...i honestly wouldnt.

Love and God bless you all,
Mel xxXxx