Pregnant

pukkamum

Hello Grace
I was a nanny for years working for 'you type of people'.
One mother i worked for never let anything as mundane as motherhood come before her career or social life.
She went back to work after one month (heaven forbid she actually sit and spend time with her baby) employed one nanny after another, (by the time i got there the baby had already had 3 nannies and was only 5 months old).

She would leave the house at 6.30am every morning and return at 8 pm.
Therefore for the 2 years i worked there i woke baby up and put him to bed every day of the week.

When i had been working there for 2 months she got married and they went off on honeymoon in the Maldives (obviously her hard work paid off) for two weeks and never once called home, baby was 7 months old.

One day i called in on a Saturday and mum was in the garden with her son when he fell over.


He ran with arms outstretched past his mother into my arms.
Mum stood with tears running down her face.
I am pleased to say i lost my job that month.
She said that moment was like a light bulb going on in her mind and she gave up her job.

I have never been so glad to lose a job.
It wasn't that she was a bad person just that she had been conditioned to think that it would be failing as a strong capable woman if she 'just stayed at home' because after all ours is the generation of women who can have it all; a career, family, two cars, detached house and foreign holidays.

Unfortunately it comes at a price.

Love Pukka(stay at home)mum x

UKTigerlily

fairydiamond wrote: »

Congratulations, OP. I would do anything for a baby. My fiance and I have been trying since 2006. It is quite heartbreaking for us.

Enjoy it.

Stay positive, I took 10yrs to come along, Parents had unexplained infertility, the strongest meds did nada & then when they gave up all hope & got accepted for Adoption, I arrived! I hope you'll be saying the same in the future x

emlou2009

grace1990 wrote: »

You can't refuse to give someone a job based on age or gender. His business partner was back at her desk a week after giving birth, not everyone uses kids as an excuse to sit at home.

i would like to point out that i have a 4 week old baby, and this morning he had me up at 5am and since that time i've fed and changed him multiple times, bathed him, gone through 2 changes of clothes for him, showered and dressed myself, given my OH a lift to work, got some groceries in, cleaned my kitchen and hoovered my whole flat through. and i havent had time to so much as eat a bowl of cereal yet. the "job" of being a mum is not easy, i wish maternity leave meant i could sit at home for 9 months and relax but life just doesnt work that way my dear! but you know what? i wouldnt have it any other way at all, my son is my world and i would do anything for him. i certainly wouldnt ever want a nanny looking after him and it will be hard enough for me to hand his care over to a nursery when i go back to work.

i may not be able to afford things he will want like expensive toys, holidays and ponies, but i will be able to afford the things he needs like food and a roof over his head. i wouldnt want him to have everything he wants, why would anyone want a spoiled child that knows if he clicks his fingers he can have whatever he wants? he would be a horrible child! think veruca salt off of charlie and the chocolate factory! love is really all he needs at the end of the day, and money cant buy that! so dont you dare look down your nose at us for taking maternity leave which is rightfully ours because we love our children enough to spend this most precious time with them.

goingtodoit_2

I posted in this thread yesterday and now it's disappeared, where has it gone?

emlou2009

goingtodoit wrote: »

I posted in this thread yesterday and now it's disappeared, where has it gone?

mine did too, it would seem our posts were offensive, but i'm offended by dis-grace's posts so i think they should go too personally!!

SugarSpun

Pfft.

I live in Germany. I pay public health insurance at a cost of about €200/month, and tax at almost 35% of my salary. The government will fund my insurance and my three months' maternity leave from my previous contributions. My employer is not out of pocket, and since they will not be paying my salary for the duration of my leave, it's taken as a leave of absence so my contract will end three months later than before.

We're fortunate in that we make enough money not to require additional handouts, but the German government offers Kindergeld of ~€700/month which we will be entitled to draw. I pay more than that in tax by myself; my husband pays more since he earns more.

We're not being subsidised by the state or by any individual taxpayers thereof, and I'm finding the assumption that conception turns every woman into a grasping layabout utterly hilarious. Incidentally, I notice that when someone challenged Grace's assertion that her husband pays four salaries for two jobs with cold hard facts about claiming the SMP back, she changed her tune to the inconvenience of having a staff member taking some time off. I'm sure it is inconvenient, but it's time off to which women are legally entitled and it is not to be condemned because some people choose to have families. Cancer is also inconvenient and a drain on taxpayers' money, and it can be largely self-inflicted, but you're not complaining that people take time off for that.

shellsuit

Crikey, there aren't half some warped minds who post on MSE.

Mainly from people whose heads are up their backsides and who think they are most superior to others.

My motto for the internet : never post anything you wouldn't say to the person you are posting to, if you wouldn't say the exact same to their face in real life.

skintchick

shellsuit wrote: »

Crikey, there aren't half some warped minds who post on MSE.

Mainly from people whose heads are up their backsides and who think they are most superior to others.

My motto for the internet : never post anything you wouldn't say to the person you are posting to, if you wouldn't say the exact same to their face in real life.

It's a good motto Shell, but I usually tone DOWN what I write on here compared to what I'd say to may mates in real life! I'm known as the straight-talking one

shellsuit

skintchick wrote: »

It's a good motto Shell, but I usually tone DOWN what I write on here compared to what I'd say to may mates in real life! I'm known as the straight-talking one

Oh don't get me wrong ~ I'm worse in real life than I am on here too!

It's just I read posts sometimes which are really nasty when there is no need for it, and think 'ooh I bet you wouldn't say that to their face!'

Like Grace for example. I can't imagine her walking upto Mums in Tesco whose children are having a tantrum, and her poking them saying 'You are a crap Mum, I will be so much better at parenting than you!'

Only for the fact that 9 times out of 10 she would probably get a smack in the mouth!

emlou2009

Broken_hearted wrote: »

How about you read THE THREAD BEFORE YOU COMMENT.

i have, thank you.