The depressively optimistic moneysaving thread

beachbeth

absolutebounder wrote: »

Why? the phone will never bite your ear

Can you really be sure of that?:D

I can't really explain why. One reason is that I worry I won't be able to get the person off the phone and they will rabbit on whilst there are things going on around me (eg dogs misbehaving or chewing things they shouldn't, potatoes boiling over and general chaos).

Perhaps it comes from being stressed years ago trying to get 2 young kids ready to go to their grandma's whilst getting ready for work myself and the phone rings and so does the doorbell at the same time? I have this stupid worry of being stuck on the phone and not being able to end the call. Im not sure this is just part of it though.

Jo_R_2

Phone call went fine, he was just as I expected tbh, very pleasant and understanding, I was asking for a couple of extra days as the tenancy ends on a Friday and we wanted the weekend to move things so OH doesn't need to take a day off work and we can finish up tidying so we can hopefully get our deposit back.

He said it was absolutely fine, had a little chat and he finished up by asking that I don't call him "Mr. X" but "Harry" (names changed LOL) so we had a chuckle about that and that was it, no problems. The immense relief I feel after accomplishing these sorts of things is worth the ridiculous turmoil I go through before!

Beth, I've felt like that for ages, it's so weird because when you think about it, it'sonly talking to a faceless person, and some of the time you don't even know them so what they think of you doesn't matter if you mess up, stumble over your words or whatever - which I always do LOL!

absolutebounder

beachbeth wrote: »

Can you really be sure of that?:D

Well unless you pick the dog up by mistake:rotfl:

I can't really explain why. One reason is that I worry I won't be able to get the person off the phone and they will rabbit on whilst there are things going on around me (eg dogs misbehaving or chewing things they shouldn't, potatoes boiling over and general chaos).

Perhaps it comes from being stressed years ago trying to get 2 young kids ready to go to their grandma's whilst getting ready for work myself and the phone rings and so does the doorbell at the same time? I have this stupid worry of being stuck on the phone and not being able to end the call. Im not sure this is just part of it though.

The phone is just a way of communicating that is better than writing and not as good as face to face. It is much easier to lie on the phone as people cant se your body language so to get rid of someone you just make an excuse like "theres a man at the door" or got to take the kids somewhere etc
How do you end a conversation face to face?

beachbeth

absolutebounder wrote: »

How do you end a conversation face to face?

The other person usually does. If Im talking to someone its usually because Im out and about and most people are in a hurry. I know someone who can talk for England and if she's on the phone will go on forever. However, I was outside talking to her yesterday and the conversation didn't last long at all because she had to dash off. When people phone you its usually because they have a spare half hour or more.

absolutebounder

Jo_R wrote: »

it'sonly talking to a faceless person, and some of the time you don't even know them so what they think of you doesn't matter if you mess up, stumble over your words or whatever - which I always do LOL!

Glad the call went OK
Ive quoted the last bit of your post because this gives away an inner feeling depressed people seem to have and which if you copuld overcome would help you no end.
It does not matter if you stumble or mess up the words whoever you are speaking to unless you dirive your values from other people or you have a mask on that is trying to be the person that you think they expect.
If you think inwardly and gain your values from yourself and be the person who you really are you will find you dont mess up very often and even when you do it doesnt matter because there is no emotional gain or loss from the other person.
I used to be scared to get on a stage and speak incase i messed up and what would people think of me. but one day I realised that 99% of my audience wouldnt swap places with me for the world. People are just glad that they dont have to be up there.

absolutebounder

absolutebounder wrote: »

I will look out books for you but one to be going on with is NLP for dummies which most bookshops will have.

These are not that cheap but for anyone who wants a better understanding of how to beat their codition these should be an inspiration.

The Wisdom of Milton H. Erickson: The Complete Volume by Ronald A. Havens

Uncommon Therapy: The Psychiatric Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, M.D. by Jay Haley (Paperback - April 17, 1993)

Hope & Resiliency: Understanding the Psychotherapeutic Strategies of Milton H. Erickson by Dan, Ph.D. Short, Betty Alice Erickson, and Roxanne, Ph.D. Erickson-Klein (Hardcover - Oct 30, 2005)

Space_donkey

absolutebounder wrote: »

These are not that cheap but for anyone who wants a better understanding of how to beat their codition these should be an inspiration.

The Wisdom of Milton H. Erickson: The Complete Volume by Ronald A. Havens

Uncommon Therapy: The Psychiatric Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, M.D. by Jay Haley (Paperback - April 17, 1993)

Hope & Resiliency: Understanding the Psychotherapeutic Strategies of Milton H. Erickson by Dan, Ph.D. Short, Betty Alice Erickson, and Roxanne, Ph.D. Erickson-Klein (Hardcover - Oct 30, 2005)

Thanks AB I will look them out.

Space_donkey

Cant sleep tonight. I have spent all night with random thought flying around my head. This is very unusual for me lately as I often sleep like a log. Does anyone else get like this. I am tired but now it is daylight I dont want to go back to bed :mad:

beachbeth

Ive posted on the Disability and Dosh forum re Benefitsandwork paying £30 for people to send in their ESA medical reports. Take a look - its an easy £30 to earn yourself if you have a report.

Jo_R_2

Space_donkey wrote: »

Cant sleep tonight. I have spent all night with random thought flying around my head. This is very unusual for me lately as I often sleep like a log. Does anyone else get like this. I am tired but now it is daylight I dont want to go back to bed :mad:

I am always VERY tired by the end of the day but I do get this, not so much the random thoughts but my mind goes through things I need to get done the next day, things I'm worrying about I suppose. It's never really been a problem before but I've found it happening more and more since I was pg with baby. I put it down to late pregnancy a few months ago but I do get it now, I suppose it's understandable with me as there's a lot going on at the mo.

It is frustrating though isn't it when you're used to sleeping like a log!

The usual advice I believe is to jot things down on a notebook by the side of the bed but not tried that yet.