The depressively optimistic moneysaving thread

absolutebounder

Jo_R wrote: »

I am always VERY tired by the end of the day but I do get this, not so much the random thoughts but my mind goes through things I need to get done the next day, things I'm worrying about I suppose. It's never really been a problem before but I've found it happening more and more since I was pg with baby. I put it down to late pregnancy a few months ago but I do get it now, I suppose it's understandable with me as there's a lot going on at the mo.

It is frustrating though isn't it when you're used to sleeping like a log!

The usual advice I believe is to jot things down on a notebook by the side of the bed but not tried that yet.

Pregnancy and young babies are tiring so it is important to sleep but its a real problem when you cant. i dont think you have to be depressed to have a bad nights sleep. Sometimes thoughts and worries just dont go away. i do think that there is a lesson from Old Style here and that is you cant beat a mug of horlicks before you go to bed. If it is summer and hot (rare in the UK I know) then a cold bath or shower helps.
For you Jo maybe you could get your body used to thinking about the day ahead first thing in the morning rather than the night before. just a suggestion because it is Ironic that thought can be so beneficial in beating depression yet keep you awake all night.

Space_donkey

Hi everyone. What a beautiful day. Doesnt the sun lift your spirits:cool:

absolutebounder

Beach beth. just noticed your post on the other thread about crying when records play. have you spoken to your counsellor about thisas it would probably give an important insight into your depression.

beachbeth

absolutebounder wrote: »

Beach beth. just noticed your post on the other thread about crying when records play. have you spoken to your counsellor about thisas it would probably give an important insight into your depression.

I havent got a counsellor. I don't know why music upsets me. New songs don't usually upset me but older songs that I used to love do. I think they take me back to different stages of my past but even if they remind me of happy times it still makes me want to cry.

absolutebounder

beachbeth wrote: »

I havent got a counsellor. I don't know why music upsets me. New songs don't usually upset me but older songs that I used to love do. I think they take me back to different stages of my past but even if they remind me of happy times it still makes me want to cry.

Well you have one part right at least. The songs are taking to to events in your past that have an effect on the present. You have no emotional attachment to songs of the present so they dont have the same effect.
Whereas one that is anchored to an event in the past brings about a memory which causes a reaction in your brain. I suspect most of the problem is that you have never been taught how to alter your state to work with the memory rather than letting it cause conflict and tears. Even though they may be happy times the memory can still cause conflict. What in effect you have is a parts conflict where one part says this should be a happy memory and another says I cant work with it as a happy memory. The reason I asked about a counsellor was that any decent one ought to have picked this up for you. Beware though if you look up parts conflict on google you will probably end up as confused as hell

beachbeth

I just think if a certain song takes me back to a happy event - holiday/Christmas/wedding etc - then it should bring back those happy feelings but it makes me cry instead. I don't know if Im crying for lost good times that can never come back but it feels that way.

absolutebounder

beachbeth wrote: »

I just think if a certain song takes me back to a happy event - holiday/Christmas/wedding etc - then it should bring back those happy feelings but it makes me cry instead. I don't know if Im crying for lost good times that can never come back but it feels that way.

Normally the same song will always take you back to the same event. They are often very powerful asssociations. In NLP it would be called an anchor. Anchors can be strong as most smokers find out as their morning fag gets anchored to the morning cup of coffee.
Now firstly these anchors are giving things away about you and your past and the mere fact that you dont get the happy reaction from a happy memory could mean that you are trying to live in the past and not the present. This is common in people who dont like or fear change but it causes conflict because it takes you to a memory of a time that you liked but you know you cant get there again and so it causes sadness.
in these cases as we know any memory will elicit a particular state, all that needs to happen is for someone to show you how to elicit a state of mind that works with the memory rather than against it.
I was going to give you a link where you could get some helpful material but Ive just seen the prices and nearly fell off my chair:rotfl: so I will look out for some free or very cheap stuff that shows you how to change the feeling you have in respect of a memory. it is quite easy to do but would be a nightmare for me to explain here.

beachbeth

Thanks, AB. That would be most helpful. I'd love to be able to listen to music again without being drunk first!

Lita_Ford

beachbeth wrote: »

Thanks, AB. That would be most helpful. I'd love to be able to listen to music again without being drunk first!

Maybe those happy events were when you were drunk so you need to get drunk now to enjoy them.:eek:
Just a thought.

How is everyone

beachbeth

Lita_Ford wrote: »

Maybe those happy events were when you were drunk so you need to get drunk now to enjoy them.:eek:
Just a thought.

How is everyone

No. That definitely isn't the case. There are all sorts of memories associated with music - being at college with friends; having a good time with my daughters when they were little at swimming or the park; travelling in the car on the way to our holiday in Yarmouth/visiting my brother in London and sightseeing etc.

Its just that there are things that upset me that I can ignore more easily if Ive had a drink. I just can't understand why happy memories upset me?