The depressively optimistic moneysaving thread

dawn1974

worried_1 wrote: »

I just wanted to thank some of you for some good advice, but it seems that I am really at rock bottom and might do something stupid. A friend of mine is acting as a mediator between me and the agency, and it has gotten worse. The Agency are forcing me to come into the office even though I am mentally not up to it, and say that I owe almost £10,000 which is not true at all. Apparently the other employer that I worked for via the agency said they checked and it was that amount, but this figure is far fetched as I was only there for 14 months and I can kind of pinpoint where it went wrong. I don't know where they got that figure from and now they are threatening to call the police. I am at my wits end, and my friend said that the lady was hostile and rude and did not want to know about my Depression,which I can prove by getting a written statement from my GP. My friend said that it looks like they might set me up to come in and then have the police waiting there to take me away as they see this as high risk fraud but to tell you the truth it was at least over a grand that I owe which I want to pay back. The thought of going in has made me have panic attacks as I know they won't be sympathetic and because they have quite a few people working there, they will sure to look down on me and I already feel bad for what I did.

I just want to end my life now as I can't cope with all this, and although I am willing to pay back what I owe, I know that it is not the amount that they are stating.

I can't stop crying

Sorry to crash this board but I am desperate and in need of help.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, I know life can be tremendously difficult.

I lost a friend to suicide 2 year's ago and I am still getting over it.

You will find a way.

absolutebounder

worried_1 wrote: »

I just wanted to thank some of you for some good advice, but it seems that I am really at rock bottom and might do something stupid. A friend of mine is acting as a mediator between me and the agency, and it has gotten worse. The Agency are forcing me to come into the office even though I am mentally not up to it, and say that I owe almost £10,000 which is not true at all. Apparently the other employer that I worked for via the agency said they checked and it was that amount, but this figure is far fetched as I was only there for 14 months and I can kind of pinpoint where it went wrong. I don't know where they got that figure from and now they are threatening to call the police. I am at my wits end, and my friend said that the lady was hostile and rude and did not want to know about my Depression,which I can prove by getting a written statement from my GP. My friend said that it looks like they might set me up to come in and then have the police waiting there to take me away as they see this as high risk fraud but to tell you the truth it was at least over a grand that I owe which I want to pay back. The thought of going in has made me have panic attacks as I know they won't be sympathetic and because they have quite a few people working there, they will sure to look down on me and I already feel bad for what I did.

I just want to end my life now as I can't cope with all this, and although I am willing to pay back what I owe, I know that it is not the amount that they are stating.

I can't stop crying



Sorry to crash this board but I am desperate and in need of help.

You can crash the board anytime for whatever reason.
Im not sure you are thinking this through. If the agency is making up figuress and threatening things then I guess there is only one reason and that is to scare you into paying and admitting everything was your fault. this is probably because they dont actually hold all the trump cards
I would offer them a settlement that you think is right and then say take it or put me in court.
If you go to court armed with doctors advice you are likely to be told to pay it back. But you have offered to do this. However you are now making the firm look stupid and vindictive as soon as you show you cant owe £10000. In fact if you can prove you dont owe £10K you might consider threatening them with a claim for harrassment and unfail dismissal. Employment law is strange and rarely on the side of the employer.

beachbeth

I agree with AB and think they are trying to scare you into paying all this money. You could draft a letter saying that you only owe £1,000 and why you think you only owe this and include a cheque for the amount. Mention that you are quite ill with depression and that if they continue to harrass you then you will have no option but to put in a claim (as AB said) for harrassment and unfair dismissal. Tell them if they want to pursue you for money you don't owe then it will have to go through your solicitor. This way they can see you are responding to their claims and not ignoring them. They can also see that they can't just make wild claims about what money you owe without proof. Its amazing how many people back down when they are threatened with court action.

Hang in there and remember that there are sympathetic people here who understand how you feel. Things always seem much worse than they actually are when you are depressed.

Jo_R_2

Just wanted to say I have been feeling a lot more upbeat these last few days.

I have been working on changing my attitudes and reaction to things which has really helped. I was very anxious about us moving (which is hopefully happening in the next month or so) and realised I was transferring my anxieties onto the children with worries about if the schools were right for DD1 and suchlike.

I have now turned things round in my head and decided to view things in a positive light rather than focussing on the negatives. So, new start for me and OH and our little family (this house I actually originally moved into with my ex and DDs so OH has been living in the shadow of my ex poor guy:eek:) Loads more room (extra bedroom, dining room, downstairs bathroom and front and back garden in a nice area) for only another £10 a month. Really good local schools which I have now started to sort out a place in one for DD1. The work we have been doing here which is a bit of a pain as it's taking up our weekends when we really want to chill out means we'll get nearly £500 deposit back.

I have also been doing at least one thing a day that makes me happy. So Sunday when it was nice we went out for the afternoon. Monday my parents came round so me and OH made a Sunday (LOL) dinner for us all. Yesterday I got out of the house and took a trip into town to sort out the admin fees for our new house so getting stuff done as well.

Not sure what it is for today, I'm hoping for a quiet read of the paper when baby sleeps - simple things but not complaining!

I have also arranged to go out on Friday evening for a couple of hours with my best friend who I haven't seen much since baby was born. OH has already commented on me seeming much happier, I've explained and it's funny because I've noticed as a side-effect he is being different with me - in a good way, I keep catching him looking at me smiling and it makes me feel all happy inside:D

Space_donkey

Jo_R wrote: »

Just wanted to say I have been feeling a lot more upbeat these last few days.

I have been working on changing my attitudes and reaction to things which has really helped. I was very anxious about us moving (which is hopefully happening in the next month or so) and realised I was transferring my anxieties onto the children with worries about if the schools were right for DD1 and suchlike.

I have now turned things round in my head and decided to view things in a positive light rather than focussing on the negatives. So, new start for me and OH and our little family (this house I actually originally moved into with my ex and DDs so OH has been living in the shadow of my ex poor guy:eek:) Loads more room (extra bedroom, dining room, downstairs bathroom and front and back garden in a nice area) for only another £10 a month. Really good local schools which I have now started to sort out a place in one for DD1. The work we have been doing here which is a bit of a pain as it's taking up our weekends when we really want to chill out means we'll get nearly £500 deposit back.

I have also been doing at least one thing a day that makes me happy. So Sunday when it was nice we went out for the afternoon. Monday my parents came round so me and OH made a Sunday (LOL) dinner for us all. Yesterday I got out of the house and took a trip into town to sort out the admin fees for our new house so getting stuff done as well.

Not sure what it is for today, I'm hoping for a quiet read of the paper when baby sleeps - simple things but not complaining!

I have also arranged to go out on Friday evening for a couple of hours with my best friend who I haven't seen much since baby was born. OH has already commented on me seeming much happier, I've explained and it's funny because I've noticed as a side-effect he is being different with me - in a good way, I keep catching him looking at me smiling and it makes me feel all happy inside:D

:T Jo. I know exactly how you feel. The more I practice looking at things differently the better I am getting. I used to spend ages wallowing in self pity and just accepting what the doctor gave me. I would spend all day in bed but now I am up early and even starting to look for work again. I cant be doing with all this hugs and sympathy rubbish. It is my life and I am going to enjoy it whatever happens.
Just like you say others are noticing and my friends are coming back.

Worried one. look after yourself and dont act hastily. As others said it looks like the agency are trying to scare you.

absolutebounder

It is great to see people feeling better by using the power of thought. Many people especially depressed people may scoff at you but dont let them bring you down again. We all have at least 2 parts to our minds and if you attack depression in the unconcious mind you will get results. 1) because its the most powerful part of your mind and 2) thats because thats where it manifests itself. If you think about doing something it is a thought from the concious mind but if you keep repeating it it may become an unconcious thought and when it does this you can act without thinking. A good example would be that you can recite the alphabet without reallly thinking about it but if I said give me every 3rd letter you would have to bring in the concious mind and would probably take a lot longer to recite what is really a 3rd of what you did the first time. repetition works which is why things like CBT does get there eventually in some cases but it is slow and so expensive because many sessions are needed. What some of you are finding possibly by accident is that if you change your unconcious thought you can change your life. In addition you discover people see you in a different light or at least it seems that way. This is because another role of the unconcious mind is to send out signals to others and like attracts like. this means that if you want to wallow around in self pity your mind will ensure you do and fill your life with like minded people and instead of sympathy and help you just reinforce your situation.

Space_donkey

I just found a £50 note. Could that be down to positive thinking?:rotfl:

Jo_R_2

Space_donkey wrote: »

I just found a £50 note. Could that be down to positive thinking?:rotfl:

ROFL now that's some powerful thinking!

Horasio

Sssssss wrote: »

what stresses you the most?

in my case it's letters, if it's something I know, like and ordinary bill etc. no problem I open it and deal with it. However if it's something I don't recognise I leave it for days without opening. Now is this part of my depression or do ordinary people also find this difficult to cope with?

I really hate getting letters on a friday because i feel if I open it and it's bad news or something hard I have to deal with it will ruin my weekend, however not opening it also ruins my weekend as I don't know what's in the letter.

I also used to feel like this about emails but it's a lot better now as the only emails I get now are from family or spam.

Saturday nasty post is even worse, you are stuck with it till Monday

I call it Sa Turd ay post:D

absolutebounder

CCStar wrote: »

Saturday nasty post is even worse, you are stuck with it till Monday

I call it Sa Turd ay post:D

On the other hand you have more time to pay the bills or more time to hone the perfect excuse. This satuday you will even be able to burn the letters on your barbeque