persectued by my boss

Rebe

Hi, hope this is on the right board.

Basically to cut a very long story short my boss is a bully, I've been at this job since June last year and since about October i've had nothing but threats made by my boss and his wife. A few things being: they threatened to make me redundant because my hair wasn't tied back (i'm only a receptionist) the most recent (today) was that I informed my boss I was going to be away for 2 weeks in June as I've had a suprise holiday booked for me (£1100), he turns round and says no.. I told him I couldn't just turn round and tell my mum (who booked hol) that I now couldn't go after spending this much, he told me I had to.
5 mins later his wife calls having a go at me saying I've not given enough notice, and that I have to request days off, not demand them. I got rather upset (lots of personal problems at the moment and I cry easily right now) she told me I had to control my emotions, I told her I thought that was unfair as no-one can control upset etc all the time, she told me if I didn't I'd be out of a job.

Really at a loose end, when I get paid on Friday I just don't want to come back!!
Went to the CAB in January but until I've been here a year I don't really have any rights, obviously looking for another job but everyone knows how things on that front at the moment!!
Anyone have any idea of what I can do? I dread coming to work now, I've never had problems with employers, the people who had this job before me left for these very reasons, I just am lost as to what I can do now.

Rebe :mad:

Liz_the_Whizz

hi rebe,

It sounds horrible there, it must be awful not knowing what they will pick on next. So often the nightmare jobs on MSE are where there are husband/wife bosses, it makes it so difficult when they act in tandem like this.

The holiday thing is a tricky one because of course they have to agree when you take leave, so it just gave them a good excuse to have a go at you.

Best tactic is to keep your head down until you are successful in finding a new position, as you may still need them for a reference. And don't be surprised if they give you a bad one, they sound the types - you may need to think about what you say to any prospective employer about reasons for leaving.

Try not to let them get under your skin (easier said than done, I know, especially while you are feeling fragile for other reasons). If it gets really bad, could you do some temping just to get out? It's worth contacting come agencies just in case to see if there is anything they could offer.

Hope you luck changes soon!

Rebe

Hi,

thanks for your message. I'm currently signed up with an agency, I explained everything to them and they're doing their best for me. Am currently waiting to hear about a possible job, so there is a glimmer of hope.
I'm expecting a bad reference when I leave. The problems started with the clothes I wore (even though it was suit trousers and a smart, plain top) and its just got worse.
I'm in a dental practice and he has kept asking me to nurse for him in the surgery when he has no nurse (which is illegal) thats my reason for leaving to prospect employers as i'm uncomfortable with it as i'm also not up to date with relevant jabs and I don't like putting myself at risk.

Thank you Liz the Whizz

olias

I can understand the problems with working for a bully, but there are things that you could do to help

It seems to me entirely reasonable as a receptionist to be told to have your hair tied back neatly (gives a better more proffessional image if dealing face to face with people) Does the company rule book mention this at all? Even if it doesn't, I don't think it's out of order for an employer to request it (Although I agree, to threaten redundancy is out of order)

As regards the holiday, whether or not it was a surprise, your mum shouldn't have booked it without you first requesting, and having sanctioned, the time off. Any employer would be pi55ed off to have specific holidays demanded by an employee.

Although I am sure that your boss may well be a bully, you do not seem to helping yourself, and indeed it could be argued that you are giving him ammunition with which to give him an excuse to bully. Don't get me wrong, I am not condoning him, however you have to look at whether some of the blame lies with yourself.

My advice would be to keep your head down, do your work to the best of your ability, don't give him any reason to pick on you, and start looking for another job.

Olias

nzmegs

I am sure there is some sort of rule regarding how much notice you must give and I am sure you have given plenty of notice. As a receptionist myself I know that they would have no trouble getting a temp or getting cover of some sort so I doubt very much they could claim you are too important to have aholiday at that time.
You need to get advice asap on that front. At least you will be able to show them that your holidays are an entitlement.
It sounds really horrible and they should not be allowed to get away with it. If you can stick it out until the year is out then I would take them for all you can - see how they like it. In the meantime keep a careful log of everything they say and when. Try to get an ally at work who feels like you who might back you up in a confrontation.
Good luck.

olias

"If you can stick it out until the year is out then I would take them for all you can - see how they like it. "

Nice attitude...not!

Olias

marklv

This boss is a !!!!!! - my advice would be to leave immediately and don't even give notice.

Rebe

Olias,

Thank you for your post. Understand where you're coming from, with regards to my hair..I had no request to put it up, he just went straight in with the redundancy threat.

With regards to the holiday.. I had actually already had a week approved where myself and my partner were going away, then my mum told me about this holiday which is 2 weeks but includes the one I already had off, but now I'm not allowed either of them because i've not given sufficient notice!!

I keep my head down as I don't particularly like confrontation and I do my job well and am also trying my hardest to find another one.

I know its your opinion, however I disagree, I wouldn't be putting myself through this stress and upset especially not as my partner is about to declare bankruptcy, has the CSA on his back because they've failed to reassess him. I really don't need this so wouldn't be making my life harder!

Sorry for the rant
Rebe

Jade1001

Have you had a look at your contract of employment? This should give you an idea of what you can and cannot do with regard to notice periods. Everyone should have a contract of employment if they have been employed at least 13 weeks (I think it's 13 weeks, but am a bit hazy on the length!). If you have not been given one, you have the right to request one - nicely, of course.

I agree with the post saying you should keep a log of the so-called bullying episodes. If you have a little money spare, and you might not have, see about buying a small recording machine, one that you can keep in your pocket and it can record the conversations between you and your boss(es), it might help in the long run, and crucially it also might help if you either do not get a reference from them, or you get a bad reference from them. Quite a few people say that their bosses won't give them a good reference etc etc, but quite a few of them probably don't deserve a good reference!

Proof is your best weapon.

Good luck, it's a sticky situation you are in. Try and keep your spirits up.

Jade1001

Horace

If he is asking you to act as a dental nurse and you're not trained wait until you leave and have a quiet word in the Dental Council's ear? Report the beggar because having you work as his nurse is illegal and it will also invalidate his insurance so a little word in their ear might be useful too if you can find out who his insurers are.

I think where you have gone wrong is that you have demanded holiday instead of asking for it, it is usual with businesses (any businesses) to ask for holiday as a matter of courtesy more than anything else.

An agency won't do much for you whilst you are still in full time employment - so get your CV out there onto every jobs site, register with a few more agencies and start buying the Times newspaper (or look at https://www.timesonline.co.uk) as they have excellent jobs pages.

Rebe

Jade 1001,

I've requested (politely) both verbally and in writing for a writtern contract and still not had one, he refuses to give me one.
I've kept a record in writing of all the incidents but a recording machine like you said is probably best otherwise it would be my word against his.

With regards to the bit about me demanding the holiday, I'm a polite person, was brought up well and would never be rude especially to an employer. I simply said to him that I would need to extend my Holiday in June by a week if possible as my mum had paid for us to stay longer. Surely the "if possible" bit it asking not demanding.

Will check in The Times, thank you.