Money wedding gift. How much to give

[Deleted User]

One of my nieces is getting married in a few weeks, only immediate families to the wedding itself. I don`t know her well as we have a large extended family. We have received an evening invite today to a nice diy do in the village hall and notice is very short so we can`t go and it is 4 hours drive away. We also received a kind of poem in which it is clear that money gifts would be most welcome

My quandry is how much? Does £20 sound ok

I would love to be the fairy godmother but we are pensioners now

shelly

£20 sounds perfectly acceptable to me. Its what I give to members of my family that I don't know all that well/see that much.

[Deleted User]

phew. Thanks shelly

Timmne

I would say £20 is fine - especially if you're not going!

claireac

I would agree that it's plenty too.

We were at h2b's brothers wedding on Friday and gave £50, but that's his brother who we see all the time. So very different in my opinion.

I would give £20 in your situation.

Timmne

Actually having said what I did, I'd like to retract and say that £20 is more than enough; i.e. if you're pensioners, it may be that you need £20 more than they do, so nothing is fine - presents aren't obligatory!

When I got married last year, we had some presents from people who had clearly spent more than they could afford and it made us feel awful - you should bear that in mind!

luxor4t

I agree, £20 is a good amount. I'd be pleased to get it!

claireac

Timmne wrote: »

Actually having said what I did, I'd like to retract and say that £20 is more than enough; i.e. if you're pensioners, it may be that you need £20 more than they do, so nothing is fine - presents aren't obligatory!

When I got married last year, we had some presents from people who had clearly spent more than they could afford and it made us feel awful - you should bear that in mind!

That is exactly what my brother in law was saying on Sunday! He said in some cases he'd like to give it back, but knew that it would probably offend.

If you can't afford it, then don't give it.

x

Poppy9

I think £20 is more than generous especially as you are not attending. Have to say I hate the trend of asking for money as I think it's rude.

The 3 of us were invited to a friends wedding in the day a couple of years ago and they didn't make any mention of gifts at all. On enquiring I was told there was no wedding list as 2 homes were coming together and they didn't ask for money or gift vouchers (guess as they are same age as us and it just wasn't the done thing to ever ask for money). We did give them a gift voucher for Debenhams because we felt we should give them something. My first choice would have been some holiday money but they weren't going on honeymoon as they have 7 children between them and didn't want to leave them at home!

Pee

When I saw the title of this post, I was thinking that the gift should reflect the cost of inviting you if at all possible, but since you aren't going I think £20 is a useful and generous gesture.

I would rather people have money than try and pick a present, sometimes with a list and sometimes without. Without is just impossible and with you realise what bad taste in place mats people do have...

sammie383

I think £20 is more than enough aswell. So long as you can afford to give that much.

When me and DH had a small wedding last year, we didnt ask for anything from anyone. But did end up with £100 overall. Which I thought was amazing to get.

I got my best friend and her DH a £10 Debenhams voucher for their wedding, but we are on very low income despite both working and so I felt this was enough. They didnt actually get us anything when we got married.

Just to add I am 20 and Dh is 25.