Support for people with Depression

Horasio

Hope all goes well Beth:)

maytaurus

[FONT=&quot]CCStar re;
[/FONT] ‘What is really bugging me is my OH - he is doing my head in
I feel angry I have endured it this long but had my reasons,
They don't change and I don't like the way they try and turn it on you that there is something wrong with you ... it indicates selfishness (I think it also indicates control ... as they know the situation that you are in)and they don't really care about you or your values.... like saying your values aren't important and you have to lower your standards.
You try to reduce your standards but the dissatisfaction soon bothers you again.’ and I agree when you say that ‘You are the only one who can decide what you get out of this relationship and whether it is worth it to you. I would weigh up the pros and cons about it and whether it is good for you or not.... if he doesn't change, then things will always be like this.
I would not put up with being unhappy with someone I don't live with.’
I completely understand your feelings, believe me.
Re;
‘This world sucks’
I think it’s a fabulous world, it’s just the majority of humans that spoil it! :mad:

[FONT=&quot]shazrobo [FONT=&quot]re;[/FONT]
[/FONT] ‘...he was silent and didn’t say anything, there was an atmosphere, and I felt talking was getting nowhere except getting myself upset, so i said is there any point, and he said no., so we parted ways ..’
Don't just listen to what is said.
It is much more difficult,
but much more valuable to listen to what is not said.
A long time ago I experienced the silence & the atmosphere & I really wish I'd paid more attention to it and to what it meant
If you think about how you would have re-acted & what you would have said if the positions were reversed,
I'm sure you'll understand more about the person that he is and the situation you are in ...
and I agree with [FONT=&quot]CCStar ‘You deserve better and although you are lonely,.... I sense you are getting crumbs from this man’
[/FONT] I think there's something worse than being lonely ... and that's being with someone you don't want to be with & I'm guessing [FONT=&quot]CCStar [FONT=&quot]would back me up [/FONT]on that & that hindsight is a wonderful thing !

[/FONT] [FONT=&quot]beachbeth

[/FONT] [FONT=&quot]Good luck with your tribunal![/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Hugs to all those who need them[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]

shazrobo

morning all, hope everyone is ok this morning,
thinking of you beachbeth, good luck hun

think ian was quiet yeserday, as he a bloke who dosent like to show his emotions, as he has been hurt and treat badly in the past by his ex.
the times we did have together were lovely, perhaps ian just needs more days in the week, he works long unsociable shifts at times, and likes his sport and a beer after work with his mates, none of this was allowed when he was with his ex, so i can see where he is coming from. didnt want you all thinking he was totally selfish.

hugs all

shaz xxx

Tiff_2

Hi beth!
Just for you, to start your day...





Safe journeys, hunnie.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi beth!
Good morning hunnie. I just want to wish you the best of luck with your appeal today angel, , and to let you know I'll be thinking of you, so you won't be alone. The ol' Tiffster will be right there with you, sitting on your shoulder.
Don't be worried about how you'll feel at the appeal, beth hun - you've got a good team behind you with Welfare Rights. Just be yourself and don't fret if you feel tearful or shakey because it will help them to see how you are affected with your illness.
I don't know what time it is at, hunnie but just try and remember:
- that it'll all be over and done with by teatime,
- that they can't hurt you,
- that you've got great people to speak up for you and support you
- and that there'll be another chance to appeal, if you should need to.

Take plenty of tissues and maybe a couple of headache pills before you go, beth just in case of getting a stress headache. I always get one when I've been very tearful. Take a bottle of water with you because it'll feel something solid for you to hold on to when you get anxious, to ground you, and it will come in very handy if you get that awful dry mouth feeling. As I say, don't worry angel because Welfare Rights will be doing most of the talking for you.
Also fill the kettle, put your tea or coffee etc, ready in your cups next to it for when you get home and all you'll have to do is flick a switch. Try and give yourself something nice as a treat afterwards, be it a hot bath, magazine, chocolate, nail varnish, stripper - whatever appeals at the time.
Let us know how you get on sweetheart. Be kind to yourself.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi wvw hunnie!
I want to wish you the best of luck with your scan today, angel. Hopefully it will go a long way to sorting out whatever the problem is for you. Tiffy's getting old and I can't remember what your scan was for, but I'll be thinking of you hunnie and wishing you well. I've got to have one myself soon too. They'll have to cat-ch me first!
Please try not to worry too much angel. Make sure you've got a treat lined up for yourself too!

I saw this and it made me smile and I hope it does the same for you,wvw.
And after all, it could be worse.





Take care sweetheart and let us know how you get on, okay?
Be kind to yourself.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

roxalana

That made me smile!

I think it is the look in the pinata's eyes...

beachbeth

whitevanwoman wrote:

I have to go for an Occupational Health medical referral for work on the same day as your tribunal and I'm in as much of a state about it as you are about your tribunal. It's because I've been signed off since Jan because of work related stress due to discrimination and big (detrimental) changes to working conditions. I think this is the precursor to redundancy on medical grounds, which would constitute constructive dismissal. I'm in the process of joining Unison and have good support from GP, CPN and support workers but it's all having a massive effect on me at the moment.

Best of luck for your medical referral, wvw. I hope everything goes smoothly for you today too.

Im trying to keep calm about my tribunal. Ive been told that there are 2 tribunals before mine and if they overrun then my tribunal will start late. I just hope we're not hanging around too long. I also hope the doctor is sympathetic and that I can get across to him how bad I am most of the time. Ive got stomach ache and headache at the moment and have taken paracetamols.

You are right about taking a bottle of water, Tiff. I was thinking of doing this because we don't know how long we're going to be and if I get panicky I'll get a dry mouth.

I love the Pug picture by the way!

Horasio

Feel a lot better today

It is warmer

He still has a lot of work to do to keep me tho.

Horasio

shazrobo wrote: »

morning all, hope everyone is ok this morning,
thinking of you beachbeth, good luck hun

think ian was quiet yeserday, as he a bloke who dosent like to show his emotions, as he has been hurt and treat badly in the past by his ex.
the times we did have together were lovely, perhaps ian just needs more days in the week, he works long unsociable shifts at times, and likes his sport and a beer after work with his mates, none of this was allowed when he was with his ex, so i can see where he is coming from. didnt want you all thinking he was totally selfish.

hugs all

shaz xxx

I hear what his problems and needs are but where do your needs and problems get addressed in this relationship?

We women are so guilty of giving reasons for why men are they way they are and let them get away with some pretty ghastly behaviour. When do we get the same courtesy from them?

I really admire you. You managed to break away from a relationship and are looking after your two sons alone. I was unable to do that when my son was young. I decided to stay because it would be easier to stay as two parents and I was too scared, pure and simple.

You deserve to be treated better than this man is treating you.