Support for people with Depression

shazrobo

Miroslav wrote: »

Rugby annoys me, I don't drink and I prefer female company (the right female company!)

Honorary female? Maybe, i'm straight, wear NO makeup or womens clothes, so maybe just a big sensitive fool.

shame we dont live closer lol, why cant there be sensitive men who dont drink, and dont go mad on sport near me??

shaz x

Miroslav

shazrobo wrote: »

shame we dont live closer lol, why cant there be sensitive men who dont drink, and dont go mad on sport near me??

shaz x

Don't get me wrong. I like football, I just prefer anyone who is close to me. I guess we are all different. My experiences in life make me appreciate more than Joe Average. Sometimes losing alot helps us grow, even if we wish we grew because of more positive things.

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Hope all is well,Shaz hope you are feeling better today after yesterday Got flat cleaning to do soon.

Katie

roxalana

shazrobo wrote: »

hi roxalana, how are you?
your right it is a very difficult choice to make, rang the samaritans earlier, and the lady said sounds like he wants his cake and eats it, she told me to carry on seeing him, as he good company, but to enjoy myself without him too
it would be an easier choice if i didnt have such strong feelings for him, or if he had done something wrong

shaz xxx

Hi Shaz,

I'm not too bad thanks. I am very very tired. I am down to taking just a quarter of my meds (with doctor and therapist supervision I should add!). Hoping to take my last one on Monday then come off them altogether.

Sorry I was too tired to respond properly last night but it sounds like the samaritans lady said exactly what I wanted to say. You either accept what you get from him for what it is - good company or perhaps you should have a break from seeing him altogether. Personally I need a partner who can give me support rather than a 'fairweather friend' which is what he appears to be. At the moment he has absolutely no incentive to change. I would feel that by staying with him I was denying myself the opportunity to meet someone who would treat me the way I deserve but I appreciate it is difficult to make that leap when you aren't feeling particularly strong because there will be a period of time when you are on your own. Sometimes it seems like something is better than nothing.

I think some people who have read my other thread may find my advice hypocritical as I have decided to stay with my OH. However, I do think we are in 2 different situations (and my OH is very supportive and very rarely 'goes out with the lads' - in fact I encourage him to do so because I think we are in danger of merging into one person sometimes!).

I am only staying because I am confident the things that bother me will change now - I am hoping he will see how close he came to losing me. I have also accepted some things won't change and had to think long and hard about whether I was ok with that.

Horasio

I wish he would get himself and his stinking stuff out of the house.

He lets jobs pile up and is defensive and hurtful about it when I tell I am fed up about it. I feel undermined by him when I try to move forward and do something with my life.

He is inefficient and slow. I feel disrespected by him. Inefficiency plus defensive attitudes about it = disrespect.

I feel soooo frustrated by his mess and slowness, then his defensive attitude on top.

He is such a drag to me. I feel I am dragging a stubborn lead weight around my ankle all the time.

He is depressing me with his frustrating and defensive ways.

I don't feel cared for and don't feel care for him in return.

Horasio

roxalana wrote: »

Hi Shaz,

I'm not too bad thanks. I am very very tired. I am down to taking just a quarter of my meds (with doctor and therapist supervision I should add!). Hoping to take my last one on Monday then come off them altogether.

Sorry I was too tired to respond properly last night but it sounds like the samaritans lady said exactly what I wanted to say. You either accept what you get from him for what it is - good company or perhaps you should have a break from seeing him altogether. Personally I need a partner who can give me support rather than a 'fairweather friend' which is what he appears to be. At the moment he has absolutely no incentive to change. I would feel that by staying with him I was denying myself the opportunity to meet someone who would treat me the way I deserve but I appreciate it is difficult to make that leap when you aren't feeling particularly strong because there will be a period of time when you are on your own. Sometimes it seems like something is better than nothing.

I think some people who have read my other thread may find my advice hypocritical as I have decided to stay with my OH. However, I do think we are in 2 different situations (and my OH is very supportive and very rarely 'goes out with the lads' - in fact I encourage him to do so because I think we are in danger of merging into one person sometimes!).

I am only staying because I am confident the things that bother me will change now - I am hoping he will see how close he came to losing me. I have also accepted some things won't change and had to think long and hard about whether I was ok with that.

I have been with a man who frustrates me for 27 years. I feel angry I have endured it this long but had my reasons, mostly financial and a father for my son. I was unable to earn enough to live alone nor be able to bring up my son alone nor wanted to give him to my OH so I could rebuild.

They don't change and I don't like the way they try and turn it on you that you are harsh or demanding or something is wrong with you for wanting to be treated in the way you want or need to be. To me it indicates selfishness and they don't really care about you or your values. Most men seem selfish imo and you need to be a clever person to be able to make them want to do things you like. I'm not that clever I'm afraid.

I was told I was expecting too much from my OH which really pssed me off. It felt like they were saying your values aren't important and you have to lower your standards. You try to reduce your standards but the dissatisfaction soon bothers you again.

I can't tell you what to do. You are the only one who can decide what you get out of this relationship and whether it is worth it to you. I would weigh up the pros and cons about it and whether it is good for you or not.

If I was in your position, I would try and find other people, so you don't need him so much. If you start asking for more, he might run away, if you stay as you are, he will be happy but you obviously do want more, so you aren't happy.

I would be less available, so he sees what he is missing, if he doesn't change, then things will always be like this.

At least you don't live with him and need him to support you financially and he doesn't help with the children.

I would not put up with being unhappy with someone I don't live with.

Horasio

I am fkn pssed off

Gapbuster have dropped me for no reason

They suck for doing that

Hope they go under - the idiots:mad:

I could quite easily scream today

shazrobo

(((hugs))) ccstar

shaz xxx

Tulip

Meet my adopted Monkey Cheeky



Adopted him from my Kelloggs cereal I had one code but let me put it in another two times,I notified Kelloggs but they said it was ok anyway so I am happy,my first animal Adoption got him from today till 5th November.


*hugs* CCStar and Shaz.

Katie

Tulip

Sazbo wrote: »

Thanks so much guys! I want you all to realise that you are a wonderful group of people. This thread and the kind souls on it have been a lifesaver to me through the years and I will never forget that. And if you do one thing on my birthday, I would like you all to remember what special people you are. :kisses3:

Love and kisses to you all,
Sazzy xxxxxx

:grouphug:

Happy Belated birthday Saz,so sorry its late

Katie