Support for people with Depression

Tulip

shazrobo wrote: »

weekdays between 9 am and 3pm, i can be me, shaz, do as i please within reason, come weekend and holidays i'm just mum/housekeeper/taxi driver/slave etc.fed up being a referee to 2 teens who don't get on, one of them so aggressive, i fear for the safety of the other,as well as myself at times.

feel so lonely too, and this is perhaps the hardest thing. i go to craft groups and chat to others, but unable to go anywhere weekends or school holidays, feel resentful being tied to 2 ungrateful kids.

bf is living the single life, and enjoying himself as usual, but instead of being happy for him i'm jealous. wish i was happy, and had the freedom.

do i stay with him, and enjoy the good times we have together, usually once a week, sometimes twice, or do we split just because i ask the impossible and want to spend some weekends with him, instead of being on my own.
he a typical single bloke i guess, enjoys rugby, beer, weekends away with the lads, and has me for the other

i know they not his kids, and we arn't his problem,
sorry rambling on

shaz x

*hugs* tell Ian how you are feeling right now and see if some weekends he can be with you.Do a compromise perhaps,One weekend see the other guys and one weekend just with you and the kids.I really feel for you Shaz but do ring Samaritans.Must be hard on the boys as well somehow and when they play up its their way of communicating to you how they feel.Sorry I am not a counceller but children can be sensitive to how the adults feel and pick up on that somehow.

Katie

Sazbo

Thanks everyone for the good wishes, means so much to me:) xxx

Shaz - this is just imho, but really Ian should be prepared to share in your life more than he seems to do. It doesn't seem right that he can live "the single life" when it suits him and see you when it suits him - that's not very fair it seems to me. Relationships need to be a partnership, not cherry-picking the fun stuff and leaving the rest. Maybe you can have a chat with him and explain how you feel? We all need help shaz, it's not unreasonable to ask for a little, I don't think.

Big hugs,
Sazzy xxxxxxxx

shazrobo

ian works some weekends, he does shifts, driving, but on the weekends he dosent work he likes a drink with the lads, and also rugby on a sunday with more beer.
i usually see him midweek. we spwnt easter sunday together as it was the kids birthdays, and his team wasnt playing.
told him loads time how i feel, but he just tells me to chill, and enjoy the times we do have together. we have never been out on a friday, saturday or sunday night, always midweek. feeling like a broken record.
really like him, but wandering if this is worth it, so whether i should just accept this is the way it is if he wont change.
feeling desperatly lonely, and planning on ringing the samaritans wen kids in bed, cant talk on phone wen they around

shaz xxx

Tulip

shazrobo wrote: »

ian works some weekends, he does shifts, driving, but on the weekends he dosent work he likes a drink with the lads, and also rugby on a sunday with more beer.
i usually see him midweek. we spwnt easter sunday together as it was the kids birthdays, and his team wasnt playing.
told him loads time how i feel, but he just tells me to chill, and enjoy the times we do have together. we have never been out on a friday, saturday or sunday night, always midweek. feeling like a broken record.
really like him, but wandering if this is worth it, so whether i should just accept this is the way it is if he wont change.
feeling desperatly lonely, and planning on ringing the samaritans wen kids in bed, cant talk on phone wen they around

shaz xxx

Good on you Shaz,the Samaritans will help you,they helped me when I had problems and they listened to me and what I had to say.I havent had problems for ages and if I do,they will be my port of call after telling parents and family.

Katie

shazrobo

ian just text and said if i want somebody to be here 24/7 then he isnt the guy for me.
sent him one back saying i didnt want anyone here 24/7, just that i thought a relationship was about compromise, not just one person having it there way.
scared i am losing him, love him so much, this hurts bad
going to ring samaritans now for a chat, kids just gone up to bed

shaz xxx

geminilady

shazrobo wrote: »

ian just text and said if i want somebody to be here 24/7 then he isnt the guy for me.
sent him one back saying i didnt want anyone here 24/7, just that i thought a relationship was about compromise, not just one person having it there way.
scared i am losing him, love him so much, this hurts bad
going to ring samaritans now for a chat, kids just gone up to bed

shaz xxx

Hi Shaz,sorry you are feeling so bad,hope your call to the samaritans helps.You are right when you say a relationship is about compromise and maybe if you sit down and talk to Ian you can reach one.I do not think it is to much to ask to go out the occasional weekend.When he goes out with the "lads"are they all single or do some of them bring a partner? if so i can see no reason why you cannot join them now and again.To give Ian his due he did spend easter sunday with you and you all went on holiday so he has made some effort, just not as much as you would like.I do not know much about Rugby but think they do not have matches all year round so maybe when it finishes you would be able to spend Sundays together.Just read one of your posts which says you have told him how you feel and he "told you to chill and enjoy the times you do have together" I may be wrong but this does sound like he has no intention of changing things if so then you have to decide if you can settle for what he has to offer,a night or two during the week and a relationship which is never going to progress.I know how lonely you are and how much you care for Ian but if you both want differant things then the relationship is never going to work.

shazrobo

when he goes out with the lads, it is just the lads not their partners if they have one, holidays are for the lads, as are weekends away to watch rugby.
just looked on his teams website, they play from feb thru til september, not always on a sunday tho, notice easter weeks match was on a fri hence he was free easter sunday, as no work that day either.
i am very lonely thats why i am in this position of being in a relationship that going nowhere, or choice of being totally on me own, no easy answer, find being on my own hard enough, just wanna feel loved and cared for, seems too much to ask sometimes in this life.
yes we did go on holiday together, who wouldnt come on a free holiday?, i paid as it was for kids too, and a caravan costs same regardless of how many stay in it
i love him, and this choice hurts, and i know nobody can make this choice for me, i to do it for myself.
thanks for all your support

shaz xx

roxalana

Hi Shaz.

Good luck with your choice. I know it is difficult to make that kind of decision.

Night.

shazrobo

hi roxalana, how are you?
your right it is a very difficult choice to make, rang the samaritans earlier, and the lady said sounds like he wants his cake and eats it, she told me to carry on seeing him, as he good company, but to enjoy myself without him too
it would be an easier choice if i didnt have such strong feelings for him, or if he had done something wrong

shaz xxx

shazrobo

going to bed, feel absolutly exhausted, and my eyes are sore from all the tears

night night

shaz xxx