Support for people with Depression

shazrobo

hi anni, i remember you, hope you've not posted because your doing well
beachbeth, sorry to hear you've been poorly, and still having to eat something that dosent agree with you, hope you get it sorted soon,(((hugs)))
hi sazbo :wave:, how you doing hun?
feeling low, cried all night, been looking back at past texts, and should have realised before now, that he didnt want to be with me, for a proper relationship, just friends with sex, makes me feel dirty and used. still confused, why did he say he loved me?, why say he wanted a child with me?, why didnt i come to my senses sooner rather than later.
hugs all
shaz xxx

beachbeth

shazrobo wrote: »

feeling low, cried all night, been looking back at past texts, and should have realised before now, that he didnt want to be with me, for a proper relationship, just friends with sex, makes me feel dirty and used. still confused, why did he say he loved me?, why say he wanted a child with me?, why didnt i come to my senses sooner rather than later.
hugs all
shaz xxx

He probably said he loved you because he knew thats what you wanted to hear. Don't feel bad - you obviously cared for him and thought he cared for you. It shows what a lovely person you are. Im sure there is someone equally nice out there that you have yet to meet. Be kind to yourself and take care. Hugs for you. ((()))

Indie_Kid

Sazbo wrote: »

Beth I have to say I've never understood why people get off on judging other people they know nothing about and conditions they have no experience of. Tbh, I think it says far more about them than it does about you. You can't reason with people like that, so I wouldn't bother trying! Just ignore xxx

I agree. I give up trying to explain my physical disabilities to the people I live with - all they do is that I'm faking them and that I'm "only disabled when it suits me".

Sazbo

Good morning everyone :hello:

Beth - I agree with everything you've said this morning, but that's nothing new!:D :T Glad to know I'm not the only one who sees these things. I don't find DT funny at all. And it's so riddled with people posting under AEs - if anything I find that really sad! Once you start spotting them you just think - why spend your time creating alternative profiles to post under? Just bizarre. But as Ivana Trump might say, "It is what it is!" :rotfl:

beachbeth wrote: »

Theres a thread explaining why some of the smilies have been removed here:

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=2220219

- I think that's the daftest thing I've ever heard!

CC - interesting your observations on depression, although even people who have everything - the lovely family, wonderful home, interesting job, etc, do still suffer from depression too, so maybe it's not always tied to specific negative circumstances, but I guess that's less common.

Shaz - I'm not too bad thanks, been dashing around today like a blue-@rsed you-know-what - Tuesdays are always tiring for me, and then I have my counselling session on Tuesday evenings, on top of that, so it's always a long old day. And don't be hard on yourself re Ian - you wanted it to work - you tried to make it work, but he wasn't prepared to change. That's nothing to blame yourself for hun. (((hugs))) xx

Right, I better get on with some work.

Have a good day everyone.

Much love to all,
Sazzy xxxx

beachbeth

I agree that depression doesn't just hit people who are having a hard life. I have a nice home, husband and kids and yet I have depression. However, I found it hard working part time and being a mum too and my own mum was far too critical about how I was doing everything which didn't help and I ended up feeling quite stressed. Im not sure if the depression made me find life hard to cope with or if my life was stressful and therefore brought the depression on? Which came first the chicken or the egg?

Even though I was stressed I wasn't a struggling single mum on the breadline or a beaten-up wife and I felt guilty for getting depression when so many people have it so much worse than me.

MsRed1

CCStar wrote: »

Some thoughts about depression

How many people would be depressed if they were in a job they really enjoyed, a home they love, had plenty of money and lived with people they really like?

I agree.

Leaving work after 20 years in the same company was the best thing I ever did. Really hated the job and my jumped up manager.:rotfl::rotfl: Now, almost finished a 3 year Creative Writing degree and am very happy. Not sure what I'll be doing after I graduate in May.

Sazbo

That's really inspiring MsRed1 - I've been with my company for 12 years and really wish I could jump ship! I bet your course was really interesting too.

Saz x

sandy71

LadyMorticia wrote: »

I'm okay, I guess.

Haven't really been around here a lot lately.

I'm surprised anyone remembers me.:o

You sure? Hope everything is ok.

Course I remember you, you were one of the few who supported me when things kicked off. x

Hope everyone else is ok today, sorry I don't know anyone yet but you all seem nice:T

Felt really good this morning, the hound got an extra long walk but I have slumped this afternoon.:(

Horasio

beachbeth wrote: »

I agree that depression doesn't just hit people who are having a hard life. I have a nice home, husband and kids and yet I have depression. However, I found it hard working part time and being a mum too and my own mum was far too critical about how I was doing everything which didn't help and I ended up feeling quite stressed. Im not sure if the depression made me find life hard to cope with or if my life was stressful and therefore brought the depression on? Which came first the chicken or the egg?

Even though I was stressed I wasn't a struggling single mum on the breadline or a beaten-up wife and I felt guilty for getting depression when so many people have it so much worse than me.

Has your mum always been critical?

My mum was a bully when I was a child. She still has bullying tendencies. She goes on about miserable things and disrespects us. She brings me down, then has a go at me for feeling low and is deflating when I feel good. She is funding my son's stupidity, then moans about it and does nothing about it. She has a go at us too.

She is using the I am not going to live very long card after her experience in December - the old guilt card. She wants to buy us stuff but she wants to buy us and the right to treat us like dirt. I want to spend time with my family but they treat us like dirt.

Of course, she puts on the charm for other people and everyone thinks she is wonderful and glamorous. They say I am so lucky to have such a lovely mum but the price I pay is her bullying and abusiveness behind closed doors.

It is hard working and being a mum. When you get negativity from family as well, it is horrible.

You don't have to be physically hurt or poor to get depressed. Verbal and mental nastiness is horrible too.

We had money and a lovely home years ago but I was depressed as my OH was horrible to me and spoiled it. I stayed as we had a child but had I not had one, I would have left then. Our son was hyperactive and the school used to moan at us about it. We can't control our son when he is in their 'care', they are the experts, not us. So had their negativity as well.

I am going to see how it goes in February but if my OH and family spoil it, then I am seriously thinking of going it alone in May. I am frightened to do this but having nasty negative people to deal with every day is depressing, so the choice is misery or fear of the unknown/loss of confidence.

I feel my age is against me and the fact I stayed home for years to bring up our son and deal with depression and hormone imbalance is against me.

I am so low at the moment, that it would be hard to get a job. I feel the need to get away and get better so I can help myself.

beachbeth

Yes my mum is very critical of everybody, not just me. My parents are very close to each other but they don't really have any friends. My mum isn't the sort of woman to have girl friends and I sometimes feel she is making me fill that role and Im not comfortable with it because Im her daughter. So if she moans about my dad I don't like it and think it would be better if she did this to a friend rather than me.

The trouble with my mum is that she was always moving the goalposts when I was little. One day something would be alright to say or do and the next I would get a telling off for the same thing! She has never been there emotionally for me and I she scorns emotion. I went round to her house yesterday and, because I was feeling low and tired, I burst into tears. She more or less ignored it - I get no hug or even a "don't be silly. You're fine." I felt more upset when I got home because she hadn't acknowledged that I was upset. Today she was on the phone to me and said "are you alright today?" It was said in a "I certainly hope you are because I don't want to deal with it" kind of way. I said that I was a lot better today, but I would have said this even if I wasn't.

Sorry to ramble on!