Support for people with Depression

Sazbo

beachbeth wrote: »

I tried counselling a few years ago but it didn't help at all. I think it depends on the counsellor. I found it hard to talk to the lady who was mine and I usually find it hard to open up to someone I don't know. Im glad its helping you, Sazbo. Its something that I should look into doing again but Im just worried I will get someone like my last counsellor.

I think it does depend a lot on the counsellor - I guess like everything else there are good ones and bad ones. The sad thing is that emotionally vulnerable people end up with a counsellor who either isn't very good, or for whatever reason, just doesn't suit them and that experience understandably deters people from trying counselling again. I was fortunate that I went 'private' and had benefit of choice. Most people don't have that luxury, I wish they did. I wish everyone did...

Sx

pipkin71

Sazbo wrote: »

Thanks Pipkin. The difficult thing was that my friend lives abroad, in quite a remote area. And it was hard getting a flight at short notice. My friend had already lost her sister to the same thing, so understandably she's really not in a good way emotionally right now, and I feel so helpless... She'll be staying in the UK for a time at least, so perhaps I can find time to see her at some point.

I know exactly how you feel about counselling. I put it off for 20 years at least. Such was my difficulty about talking about myself. But in the end I had no choice, my depression had painted me into a corner to such an extent, I couldn't go on like that any more, I really had no alternative. I've been having counselling for least two years and only now am I able to start opening up. It is really hard. But maybe I have an old-fashioned "no pain, no gain" view of it - it IS hard, undeniably, but then if it wasn't hard, would it be doing any good? I don't know, that's just my view really.

But I can look back now to how I was when I started, and I can see that, altho there's still work to be done, that I have come a long way. I am undoubtedly better for it. I tend to think that I didn't get disabled by depression overnight, so counselling is not a quick fix. But I would recommend it.

The most important thing is to find a way that works for you pipkin. You can always talk here if it helps.

All the best,

Saz x

Death is such a horrible part of life, isn't it

It's one thing I am truly scared about.

I really hope counselling works for you, even though it is hard.

You have a good outlook on your depression and you're right, it didn't happen over night. There's no quick fix cure, sadly.

I find it difficult talking about things that upset me, so am trying to deal with things inside - or ignore them. Probably not a great way to go about it, but facing up to it is so hard

beachbeth

I am considering the matter closed, Pipkin. I don't want nastiness coming to a thread that is here simply for support. I have said what I think and won't discuss it any more.

I hope everyone else will continue to post here as normal. I myself sometimes have a need to come here for support and, when Im feeling strong, like to support others, which is how this thread works.

I was wondering where Miro is and I hope he is doing ok - I know he was very upset about the loss of his cats. Please let us know how you are doing, Miro.

Also, morning Tiff.:wave: I hope you are ok too. I always feel all is well in the world when I see your posts!:)

pipkin71

beachbeth wrote: »

I tried counselling a few years ago but it didn't help at all. I think it depends on the counsellor. I found it hard to talk to the lady who was mine and I usually find it hard to open up to someone I don't know. Im glad its helping you, Sazbo. Its something that I should look into doing again but Im just worried I will get someone like my last counsellor.

That's a worry too, isn't it - ending up with someone who you just don't gel with

I also find it hard to open up to someone I don't know and was really embarrassed when I spent my last hospital appointment in floods of tears

On the other hand, would someone who came across as totally empthic, with lots of there theres, help, or would it reinforce how people were feeling?

I don't know.

Counselling definitely has its place, and hopefully, many will be able to get help from the process, so I couldn't knock it as a treatment.

pipkin71

beachbeth wrote: »

I am considering the matter closed, Pipkin. I don't want nastiness coming to a thread that is here simply for support. I have said what I think and won't discuss it any more.

Agree.

I'm happy I've put the other side, and said what I needed to say to address the post. However, as you say, this thread is here for support, rather than discussing a deleted thread so will also draw a line under it.

beachbeth

I really must give it another try but its scary. I have a hospital appointment in two weeks (nothing to do with depression) and I am so worried that Im going to end up in tears at this. If Im feeling strong that day then I will be fine but I don't want to make an idiot of myself by getting teary. Plus, if the person I see isn't a very sympathetic person then I may get upset about discussing my medical problem with them. I am wondering whether to get my OH to come with me, but don't want to waste a day's holiday for him.

pipkin71

beachbeth wrote: »

I really must give it another try but its scary. I have a hospital appointment in two weeks (nothing to do with depression) and I am so worried that Im going to end up in tears at this. If Im feeling strong that day then I will be fine but I don't want to make an idiot of myself by getting teary. Plus, if the person I see isn't a very sympathetic person then I may get upset about discussing my medical problem with them. I am wondering whether to get my OH to come with me, but don't want to waste a day's holiday for him.

I'm at the hospital tomorrow, and like you, I'm worried I'm going to end up in tears, and appear weak

Would your OH happily come with you? If he can offer support whilst you're there and would want to come, then try not to look on it as a wasted day's holiday

It is easier when you have someone with you. Hope it goes ok

sandy71

Hi pipkin, Hope your appointment goes well. Whenever I go I always end up in tears so don't worry.

Beachbeth, my neuro is the most unsympathetic person ever but I just try and think its her that has the problem not me :mad:

Sazbo, Sorry about your friends mum. It must be terrible for your friend being so far away and hard for you not being able to see her.

shazrobo well done for last night, pleased you had a good evening. You have been so strong about Ian and you efinitely deserve better.
mmmmm cider :beer::rotfl:

I'm off to the doctors in a bit so see you later.

pipkin71

sandy71 wrote: »

I'm off to the doctors in a bit so see you later.

Hope you get on ok, Sandy

geminilady

Sazbo Sorry about your friends mum cancer is a horrible disease but i am glad she died peacefully.Hope you manage to see your friend but if not at least you can keep in touch by email and phone to let her know you are there for her.