on the verge of ending it. cant see a way out

worried_jim

Blondie- a big hug from me, sounds like an awful time you've had. please don't do anthing because I guarantee that you are a wonderful person and the world will miss you! all the best getting things sorted out. jim x.

Merlinexcalibur

Oh Blondie- I could cry for you. It's so sad to hear how low you are today especially when I'm used to hearing the more upbeat Blondie. Things will get better. You really need to talk to your Doctor. I'm really glad your sister is there for you. And if Sparky is making you feel this low then you really need to get some space.

Me too, because I can see another person going through all this because of another.
I don't wish to go on, or I will sound like a broken record unintentionally but ... take it from me, your life is so, ever so much more valuable than any of this rubbish you are getting from your ex and how he is making you perceive yourself. That is what he wants from all this. Because he probably cannot cope with his own problems. So, in one sense, is taking them out on you. And because he can see you struggling probably playing on all that in order to get away with it. Don't know, really, just going on surface, gut instinct here. But someone who does this isn't strong as a person because of how they choose to behave like this.

You are obviously taking steps now with help from your sister. Keep that in mind for something to look forward to and use that as your next point to get to, as a lifeline. And focus only on that, and what help your GP may be able to offer.

thank you for your posts. i am crying right now but im glad i have people on here that can listen to me

You always will. (((blondie)))

tilly2484

My little blondie, didn’t know you had got this down chicken. I’m sorry I can’t really do anything but I’m here is you ever need to chat.

If you private message me we can have a chat whenever you want, phone, email you name it.

I think going to the docs is a good start though, most are very good from experience. xx

3somes for you :grouphug:

GT60

Blondie get to the doc's and the CAB asap please
As for the OH change the locks or hand the keys back to northern rock and walk away.

Good luck chick

MrsTinks

Deep breath hun and remember that the money side of it can always be sorted somehow... it's only money and as Martin says - there isn't a money problem that can't be sorted somehow.
As for your ex then you need to realise that you don't need him You can do this on your own and once you are back in the driving seat it will be so much easier to see light at the end of the tunnel.
Right practical advice: Mortgage - call the mortgage company now - ask for a payment holiday and explain you have been made redundant. More and more people are struggling and most mortgage companies don't want your house to be repossessed - it's in their interest to give you a couple of months to get on your feet again and find a new job and calling them before you can't pay will definitely go down with them better than them having to call you after you have failed to pay
Take your ex's key off him! Is it a 1 or 2 bed flat? Can you rent out a room for extra cash?
Please do an SOA - you'll be amazed at what the guys here can help with and more importantly it will help you to know where exactly you stand and what you can address now and what you can put off for now

And go see the GP and remember that the Samaritans are always there to talk if you need a friendly voice

rubyslipper

Oh Blondie, I too am so sorry to hear how low you've gotten.

I have great personal experience of depression and can 'hear' in your posts how low you are at the moment. I applaud your sister for helping you get in touch with your GP - that's a very hard step to take when you feel as though everything is hopeless. I know you must feel so overwhelmed and helpless at the moment but nothing is ever so bleak that ending things is the answer.
You have been through some dreadful things that would test absolutely any of us but I've been a subscriber of your diary for a while now and I know that underneath your current feelings of hopelessness and despair is a strong, vivacious, creative, intelligent girl who has so much sparkle and energy. I know you love Sparky but love shouldn't hurt and lately you've sounded so upset when it comes to him. He is an emotional drain and, hard though it is to admit to yourself, he doesn't do anything to enhance or enrich your life.

The situation is tough and only you can make a change (I know you know that) but there are things you can do and people you can talk to (GP being the first port of call - creditors can bl**dy well wait). I know this is cyberspace but we're all here and we really do care. Give Marmite a giant snuggle, cry your eyes out if you need to but please, please don't give up.

Love & hugs

Ruby xxxx

rubyslipper

blondiedebtfree wrote: »

he blamed me for the baby and i know he hates me

That is NOT NOT NOT your fault - don't let that belief EVER enter your head sweetheart x

elsie52

You will find someone who loves you, maybe not now, maybe not soon, but you need to love YOURSELF first. ! It would seem to me and also to you that your OH doesn't care, so what do you have to lose. Its amazing how strong we are if only we knew it, I have a family member who lost their OH a few months ago, and you wouldn't recognise them as the same person now. Sometimes things that happen to us actually make us stronger.

Firstly I would see a GP, and tell them exactly how you feel, I can relate to your symptoms as I did go through Depression at one time, and no matter how people, including yourself, tell you to 'pull yourself together' it just can't be done. You may need some medication, and if so take it. You will feel better, and be able to cope with things better. Keep going girl, you can sort this out with help.

scaredy_cat

go get a cup of tea and some biscuits and then have a look though this site -> http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/Employedorlookingforwork/DG_10014402

there are 2 sorts of JSA - contribution based and income based, i'm sure that you must be able to get one of them. Also call National Debt Line 0808 808 4000, they are non judgemental and will be able to give you advice.

aligerdie

He blamed you for the baby?! :mad: You need to sort that idiot out, and get him out of your life. To blame you is so so cruel. Have you received any counselling regarding your loss?

I just wanted to send you a huge hug, you're not alone and everyone will help you here, just hang on in there. xxx