on the verge of ending it. cant see a way out

pink_princess

I would take some time out to read some of the long haulers stories.Hopefully this will help you see how others were in your place and have slowly gotten through it all.
It will help if you can detach your self from it all a bit.As long as you take care of the rent/mortgage and your utilities and council tax,everything else can wait and be sorted out later.
On the personal front you need to get the ex out of your life if he is not a positive aspect,easier said than done i know.Evaluate what positives he can give you ,if its not worth it then cut him out alltogether.
I think you could do with building a support network for yourself until you don t feel as fragile,any family or friends you can talk to?
PP

Merlinexcalibur

i feel so stressed and guilty for not having a job it will be all my fault if i lose my home. i have nowhere i can go

I can't say anything really, as this is a forum and it's harder than being face to face with someone in person. However, put that right out of your mind. You are not a failure. If anyone is it's your OH for doing to this to you. Those things were not in your control to influence so they are not your fault.

My sister is booking me to see the doctor today. i dont want to b a problem and like this

You are not and don't let anyone - including your OH - ever make you believe that.

Thriftysaver

Blondie

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. He sound like a right prat. How dare he shout at you. What right has he got. HE should be paying the mortgage with you. HE is the failure, blaming his low income for not paying his share. Tell him to get another address and go to CAB so that your finances are not linked (other than mortgage, I think you can get him off that if you can prove he has not paid for x amount of months. Then get a lodger)

Make sure you see the GP and then cab. They will tell you all the benefits you are entitled to.

Buffythedebtslayer

Blondie, hang on there ok.

This is the lowest point, something has to improve some time?

I think you need to make a decision to stop all emotional contact with ExOh. he is an ex, a nothing, stop it all.

then you do need to go and stay some where else for a few days or if you can't do that then make some changes to your flat(sounds mad) but can tidy up rearrange, make some single to yourself and the ex that things have CHANGED.

You need to fight back hon, one day, even one hour at a time to him and everything.

then you need a notepad and a pen and you need to write down you SOa - I know you have cut back on everything but just to have it ordered in your mind?

Please post again, xxxxxxx

bank_of_slate

Blondie, the good thing is once you hit rock bottom the only way out is up!
Things will get better and you deserve a man who will love and respect you no matter what, you just have to believe it.

There's lots of help for you here, try emailing the samaritans rather than ringing, I know lots of people have found it very helpful.

You have been through so much in a short period of time, you may still even be grieving!
...Linda xx

elsie52

" On the verge of ending it. " !!

Hi

Its only money and debt and absolutely nothing in this life is worth considering "ending it" :eek:

Take advice from an old person.......there is always a solution somewhere.;)

Firstly, I would give the OH the old heave oh......and get rid for good. Change the locks and don't let him back in. He sounds as if he has got the best of it. :mad:

I can't give advice on any benefits to claim, I have been fortunate in my working life and always had a job, nothing special, bar work, even cleaning, but its always contributed to keeping a home going. Can you look for any temporary work, take in a lodger and rent out a spare room, (if you have one), can you move back with parents, I know you probably wont want to, but parents can be really understanding, and when a child is in need, then they may be able to help you.

Keep going, think positive and look towards the future, you don't say how old you are so I am guessing, its a long life to be had and only you can do it, but with help from this site, and family and friends.:T:T

Sorry its not really practical help, but please do not despair, you will get through this. I am sending you loads of hugs, and positive vibes.:kisses3:

Merlinexcalibur

All I can say/add is you are showing how much stronger a person you are by posting on this forum. That takes guts for example. And a much stronger person than your ex who choose to use mind games shall we say. On the reverse maybe he wouldn't be so strong.

Life is more precious and your ex just isn't worth all this.

Firstly, I would give the OH the old heave oh......and get rid for good. Change the locks and don't let him back in. He sounds as if he has got the best of it. :mad:

Meant to suggest that but noticed it was a 'jointly?' owned flat.

laura2481

Oh Blondie- I could cry for you. It's so sad to hear how low you are today especially when I'm used to hearing the more upbeat Blondie. Things will get better. You really need to talk to your Doctor. I'm really glad your sister is there for you. And if Sparky is making you feel this low then you really need to get some space.
Hugs

Laura
xx

laura2481

elsie52 wrote: »

" On the verge of ending it. " !!


Its only money and debt and absolutely nothing in this life is worth considering "ending it" :eek:

:T so no more of that talk
xx

blondiedebtfree

thank you for your posts. i am crying right now but im glad i have people on here that can listen to me

i do need to get rid of the ex, i feel stuck like im a hole and cant get out as if i had a job i could leave
i know he takes advantage of me. he blamed me for the baby and i know he hates me

i just cant cope. i cry all the time. i look back and want to feel normal again

i only have my mum and my sister but i feel like a burden to them as my sister has only had a baby herself

i didnt want to think i had depression but deep down i know im not right. i want someone to tell me it will be ok. im so scared

im scared of bein on my own. if baliffs come. i might never find someone else that would love me