Debts in the City. A Modern Girls Guide to Life in 2009. My story.

rosered1963

Blondie - big hugs - That "I've done nothing wrong today" speaks volumes. He needs to read Eric Berne's Transactional Analysis - he is behaving like a begrudging small naughty vchild and expecting you to be like a parent. There are lots of lovely people on your thread for support. I, for one, know how you feel. I hope for your sake that it gets decided one way or another, very soon. He has moved away from you in his heart. He never explained to you why he did that. And, although he moved back in, it sounds as though he isn't really "there".

Loads of love. My advice would be for you to break it off completely, and spend the summer season doing Eurocamp abroad! but seriously, I don't know the two of you, and don't want to be presumptuous. Life is so short to waste a single minute.

Swinstie73

Men, who'd have em! Probably better with a cat afterall.

I can't remember the exact saying, but it goes something like this:

You should'nt cry over a man and if you do he's not worth it
The man who is worth it, will never make you cry!

Actually I just made that up, cos really can't remember the saying, but it was along those lines!

At my mum's just now and the smell of dinner is driving me bonkers - off home to have cereal for dinner cos don't think have anything else :-( xx

Chin up, will sign in tomoz!

blondiedebtfree

Swinstie73 wrote: »

Rupe, you could be a counseller! I don't ever think you can be totally trusting of anyone or know what they are thinking or feeling. My OH is brilliant and tells me he loves me all the time, but cos he has been married before (and made the comment 'I'll never wear a kilt again') I've got it in my head he doesn't want to marry me, even though I don't particularly want to get married. And he won't discuss things like contraception (I'm on Implanon and have gained weight) - don't know if it's just embarrassment why he won't talk.

Sorry for rambling, just one thing been annoying me!

How long have you been with him? Maybe regarding the contraception thing hes just shy and nervous. He says he loves you so maybe its a simple thing that hes scared to rock the boat, that could even include what he thinks about marriage. x

Swinstie73

We've been together for almost two years and I truly believe he is The One and I've never been a 'dying to get married kind of gal' BUT you read in mags that if he doesn't want to marry you, he's not that into you. Personally I think that's rubbish and he says stupid things like he'll be picking me up from the bingo in twenty years time which probably means more than proposing! BUT doubts still creep in!

Right let's ditch the magazines, especially the ones about weight and being skinny, which I used to be before Implanon, ha!

If I don't go now, will be taking the food off my mum's plate I am so hungry. Good luck with the talk x

rosered1963

Blondie - just a thought - if you eventually decide to move out (therefore effectively leaving him and breaking it off for good), could you not get Income based JSA, housing benefit and CT benefit and get your own flat with Marmite, or shared house... x

redstararnie76

Hi Blondie
I'm not too good at the advice thing so please feel free to ignore me/throw things at the computer/call me nasty names etc but I'm going to try:
OH - I can't really help there, but to say 'believe in yourself, if you suspect it's time to call it a day, it probably is.'
Job-wise - I'm also in marketing and I had a couple of ideas (but possibly crap). I've never had any luck at all with agencies, I've always had to do it myself. I've found online jobsites more useful, in particular the Marketing Week one, the Guardian one and Total Jobs.
I'm not sure what area you live in, or the particular industry you work in/your job history etc. but could you start trying (if you're not already - in which case I'm really sorry - don't mind to patronise - just call me a silly moo)to get some freelancing in. If you can lay your hands on any of the material you wrote in your last job... before my oh got his computing job, he and I managed to do a short direct mail to local businesses (hairdressers and taxi drivers for some strange reason) and offered them a really cheap website and he got a couple of bites from that. If you could knock up a flyer with what you could offer (perhaps web and leaflet copy, press releases for example) and get a nice friend to photocopy it at their work(?), it might be worth a shot.
Sorry if I'm overstepping the mark, but I can't help but feel sure that if a few employers saw your copy you would get some work coming your way and it could lead to something more permanent...

redstararnie76

and please forgive me if I'm making things worse, I really don't mean to, I just want to help

blondiedebtfree

redstararnie76 wrote: »

and please forgive me if I'm making things worse, I really don't mean to, I just want to help

Your not overstepping the mark at all!!

Im really grateful fro your help and advice!! :j :j :j

I might try the freelance thing, while i keep trying for jobs.

On a good note girls ive got another interview Friday for another job! Its a bit far away which is carp but it would be money.

I LOVE MY CRAZY CAT LADIES. XXXXXXXXXXX

blondiedebtfree

rosered1963 wrote: »

Blondie - just a thought - if you eventually decide to move out (therefore effectively leaving him and breaking it off for good), could you not get Income based JSA, housing benefit and CT benefit and get your own flat with Marmite, or shared house... x

I thought that too, but would it matter that my name was on a mortgage? Think i need to go to CAB??

laura2481

Hi Blondie. Hope you are ok. Wonder if Mr Ben and Mr Jerry have been to visit yet :grouphug: (that really is the dodgiest smilie)

Just thought I'd pop back in and say- we are all here for you. It really is a difficult situation you are in, made so much harder by the mortgage situation. You guys really need to talk, and deceide what to do.

So, *hugs* (but not weird threesome style hugs)
Laura