Another OH with debts

ladybez

Ras, I have spoken to CCCS and understand only too clearly the implications of his (in)actions. Have not gone as far as speaking to solicitor yet as I was still hopeful that he would come to his senses. I think this is unlikely. One piece of positive news is that his PPI policies will pay out so that should make situation a little better. I am not convinced he is motivated at all, its not a lbm he needs but a Football Stadium floodlight!!

ladybez

Dinah, thanks for taking the time to post. Yes there are times when I'm made to feel like its my fault, even though I know its not. Someone previously suggested that I have the mortgage transferred into my sole name, I have approached the Building Society and they would not do this as we are both living here (at present) They have said that if he was no longer resident they would look at it again.

LydiaJ

Hang in there, ladybez. You are doing so well. And keep posting on here. We will help you to stay firm.
Can you find some RL people to support you through this too?
Lydia

ladybez

Thanks Lydia. the only other RL people who know are my boss at work and my clinical psycologist, unfortunately my C.P. sessions have now finished. There is no-one that I am really that close to. We are able to access councelling services at work, albeit with a waiting list, will see if Occ Health will refer me

RAS

ladybez wrote: »

Ras, I have spoken to CCCS and understand only too clearly the implications of his (in)actions. Have not gone as far as speaking to solicitor yet as I was still hopeful that he would come to his senses. I think this is unlikely. One piece of positive news is that his PPI policies will pay out so that should make situation a little better. I am not convinced he is motivated at all, its not a lbm he needs but a Football Stadium floodlight!!

Hi Glad you know and sorry he has got you into this mess. Sounds like you have had a basin full.

Hoping for the floodlight.

Iron_Pyrite

Ladybez,


Wake up, you are part of the problem while your ( best intentions ) actions allow this situation to continue.

Re-read this thread and imagine it was your daughter telling you about her boyfriend ??

kimmi_b

Hi Ladybez

Have been reading this thread with interest and I just wanted to say that I hope your OH wakes up and smells the roses soon. I think you are incredible for wanting to stick with him through all this, given the attitude you are getting in return.

I am in an opposite situation - I'm the one in debt in my relationship but unlike your OH I am dealing with it all myself (with the help of Payplan - wonderful people!). My OH is fully aware of my debt and every now and then will dip into his pocket to help me out if I am having a tight month, or treat us to a takeaway but I have never, and WILL never expect him to deal with my debt on my behalf or to remortgage our house in order to pay off my debt.

It's been a hard few months but I feel so much better knowing it is being dealt with - it really empowers you and has inspired me to tackle other areas of my life that were slipping away. My relationship with my OH is so much more open and honest now for a start, I am determined to push myself as far as I can go at work in order to achieve those all important pay rises and promotions to help us out, and have even started a vegetable patch to try and cut costs on shopping - it's been a fab way to get the whole family together out in the sun and working towards something that will benefit us all. Debt is such a lousy thing that I am determined to turn it around to see the positives from it!

I really hope that you can see someone at CAB soon, or maybe a solicitor to ensure that should the worst happen i.e. CCJ's and charging orders on the house, that your half of the equity is fully protected and you will be able to stay afloat and keep a roof over your childrens heads.

Good luck and keep us posted

kimmi_b xx

Emmsie21

Iron_Pyrite wrote: »

Ladybez,


Wake up, you are part of the problem while your ( best intentions ) actions allow this situation to continue.

Re-read this thread and imagine it was your daughter telling you about her boyfriend ??

I think that Ladybez is doing all that she can do at the moment. I can understand what you are saying about it being her daughter and boyfriend but apart from moving herself and her kids out (not sure where too as its her house aswell) or chucking her OH out - which is not the easiest thing to do - she is trying her best to get some kind of hold on the situation. None of this debt is hers as she is trying to do what she can do and feels is best for all concerned, while maintaining a home for her children.

Stay strong ladybez, we're all here to support you.

ladybez

Yipee ppi has paid out on several of his cards and one loan, so that accounts are . with one exception, below limit. Guess what he went out and did? Bought 3 new jumpers, two fleeces, a jacket and another torch. I don't think he's ever going to wake up to what he is doing. Its now totally up to him to sort his mess out. I'VE HAD ENOUGH. (sorry for shouting!!)

kate_pixie

WTG Ladybez!! More shouting!! Shouting at your OH!! Do it!! hehehe Big hugs xx