Negative Paternity Test

monicaj

An update as promised

Just returned from seeing the Solicitor. Well worth it - he is getting back to us this afternoon with contacts for specialist counsellors/therapist, possibly even Social Services for this type of situation. This is to help us decide the best approach in dealing with the situation in terms of the child, and how we can try to work through everything with the "ex" .

He says that should the question of maintaining contact become an issue, and it came to the courts, they would look very favourably at my husband and his son maintaining that contact even though there would be a declaration of non-parentage.

Nothing changes in terms of the unknown (i.e. how the mother will react), but it makes us feel better that we can get some expert advice on dealing with it and that we are doing our best for his son.

I guess this is going to be a long, emotional journey .......................

smartpicture

Just a query as I know nothing about how the CSA works. How is it possible to demand the money back from the CSA? I presume they only collected money on behalf of the mother, so if the CSA refund it then basically the government / taxpayer is actually refunding you - the money paid to them has presumably been used by the mother to bring up the boy - whether she was in the wrong to do this is a separate issue. Presumbaly the mother owes you the money, but that can't realistically be repaid as she will have spent it. I just don't understand how the CSA is obliged to refund the money if the mother has lied and the CSA has just been doing its job in collecting money to pass on, it doesn't have this money to refund? I just wondered how this works, probably got it all wrong but curious!

DONTQUOTEME

smartpicture wrote: »

Just a query as I know nothing about how the CSA works. How is it possible to demand the money back from the CSA? I presume they only collected money on behalf of the mother, so if the CSA refund it then basically the government / taxpayer is actually refunding you - the money paid to them has presumably been used by the mother to bring up the boy - whether she was in the wrong to do this is a separate issue. Presumbaly the mother owes you the money, but that can't realistically be repaid as she will have spent it. I just don't understand how the CSA is obliged to refund the money if the mother has lied and the CSA has just been doing its job in collecting money to pass on, it doesn't have this money to refund? I just wondered how this works, probably got it all wrong but curious!

Once the DNA test has been done from an approved DNA company, such as Cellmark, and a copy of the results sent to the csa, a full refund will be authorised, for every penny that has paid. This refund is sent via the CSA from the Paymaster Generals Office, and the PWC will owe the state the money back. As already stated the PWC cannot be forced to pay the money back, as the welfare of the child still needs to be taken into consideration.

Strapped

Just to wish you luck in this difficult situation. There is a doubt over my SD's biological parentage, and my husband took legal advice as you are now doing; he was advised that, even not being the child's biological father, the fact that he was married to the mother at the time of birth and having had regular contact / treated her like his would mean that the courts would almost certainly not take away his parental responsibility if he did not want to relinquish it (which he did not) and would uphold his contact order. In the end, he decided not to go ahead with testing though because there was still a risk, and because of the emotional impact.

SuziQ

There have been test cases in court,where if paternity was doubted but the father continued to pay no money was refunded, as it was decided that he had made a decision to continue supporting the child despite doubts and without persuing a paternity test. Whereas if the paternity had never been doubted but a test was undertaken because of new knowledge repayment was ordered. We only learnt this when my husband went to a solicitor to sort out the mess that is his first wife and the 2 boys he thought were his.
It's unlikely the woman in question would be able to repay 30k surely?

monicaj

I don't blame the CSA on this one. My view is that the mother has obtained monies by deception from my husband - simple as that. She should be held accountable and persued for every penny via the CSA. Just a thought, what would happen if she comitted benefit fraud with her defense being that it was for the welfare of the child? I'm sure she wouldn't be let off that lightly....

pd001

monicaj wrote: »

I don't blame the CSA on this one. My view is that the mother has obtained monies by deception from my husband - simple as that. She should be held accountable and persued for every penny via the CSA. Just a thought, what would happen if she comitted benefit fraud with her defense being that it was for the welfare of the child? I'm sure she wouldn't be let off that lightly....

Totally agree with all of the above comments

blue_monkey_2

Me too. I am so pleased that your husband will not lose his PR, this would be devasting for both the little boy and him. Thanks for keeping us updated - good luck and keep strong.

monicaj

It's been a while since my last posting but just a very quick update:

Having sought every possible piece of counselling and professional advice, my husband met with his ex over a week ago to speak about his "findings". The meeting was held in a public place and she was given a letter together with a copy of the DNA Test (approved by his lawyer) to confirm the conversation. This meeting went reasonably well in that she didn't rip his head off but she was "stunned". I won't go into the dialogue that took place but as suspected she had no shame and indeed this was all my husband's fault as she has no doubt that he is the father !! (though she did suggest that he contacts the CSA???) It has been left for her to agree to a court approved DNA Test and she has been asked for her cooperation to work through this with hubby for the sake of the child - Hubby has offered to pay for her to speak independantly to any professional to make sure that they achieve the best outcome from this mess for the sake of the child - we have heard nothing since. We should have contact this weekend so are keeping fingers crossed that there will be no change to the normal arrangement. In the meantime we have decided to keep a journal so if things do go pear shaped, my husbands can always refer to this just for reassurance that we have done/are doing everything we possibly can in his "son's" best interest and IF necessary this can be shown to his son in the future should the need arise.

The CSA have been contacted tonight and say that they will make a note of my husbands call, however we will be writing to confirm the same. Hubby will continue to make payments via the CSA until such time we get the official DNA test result, HOWEVER if she decides to drag her feet on this one we will have to persue through the legal channels.

My message to ANYONE out there, if there is ANY doubt about the paternity of your child, PLEASE don't leave it too long, get it sorted for the CHILDS's sake. It is heartbreaking and affects so many other people within the family circle, Grandparents, half siblings, step siblings etc etc etc ........... a horrible situation which I would not wish on anyone.

Thank you all so much for your advice and support and I will keep you posted and apologies for the ramble

SuziQ

What a dreadful mess some selfish short-sighted,evil women create!