Negative Paternity Test

kelloggs36

Why would she declare money paid BEFORE the CSA became involved? As far as the CSA are concerned, this money is NOT relevant.

monicaj

Because she was claiming benefits and my OH paid £6k directly to her - aka Benefit Fraud. Caseworker confirmed this at a face to face meeting to discuss the arrears with my OH when he produced evidence of these payments some 4 years ago.

The money may not be relevant to the CSA but as far as my husband is concerned the way he's feeling right now the money is VERY relevant. Sorry if my post was confusing but he is saying he will persue her PERSONALLY for the £6k. Regardless, every penny he has paid is money obtained by deception by the mother from my husband for a child which is not his (biologically).

Maybe I should ask for the thread to be moved from the CSA forum - I really don't want to start winding people up (or is it me being a bit sensitive), I'm keeping this thread updated with facts as well as the emotions so we can share our experience with anyone else unfortunate enough to find themselves in this situation.

kelloggs36

I see, that makes it much more clear now!

pd001

monicaj wrote: »

Because she was claiming benefits and my OH paid £6k directly to her - aka Benefit Fraud. Caseworker confirmed this at a face to face meeting to discuss the arrears with my OH when he produced evidence of these payments some 4 years ago.

The money may not be relevant to the CSA but as far as my husband is concerned the way he's feeling right now the money is VERY relevant. Sorry if my post was confusing but he is saying he will persue her PERSONALLY for the £6k. Regardless, every penny he has paid is money obtained by deception by the mother from my husband for a child which is not his (biologically).
.

Good on him...so he should
And she should certainly be prosecuted for benefit fraud.

colonelblighty

Hi Monica,

As discussed elsewhere I am going through the same right now. I just want the whole nightmare to be over with and can fully understand everything you and your husband are going through.

Chin up though as these type of people will one day get what they deserve. (in my case all being well being having the story shown to 5 million television viewers)

Loopy_Girl

God don't say it's going to be some dubious (although enjoyable!) chat show like Jeremy Kyle is it?!! Why on earth would you want to wash your dirty linen in public?

colonelblighty

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

God don't say it's going to be some dubious (although enjoyable!) chat show like Jeremy Kyle is it?!! Why on earth would you want to wash your dirty linen in public?

good god no!!!!:shocked: My wife contacted the one show about the fact that with the ease of DNA test that this sort of thing can only become more prevalent.

They're doing a story on paternity fraud with a main sort of theme of how the csa totally fail to help you out as they only follow their strict procedures which forces you down a legal route as the PWC in these matters tend not to want to get things sorted out.

Talking of Jeremy Kyle thought (not that I watch the show you understand) it always amazes me the wwomen on there who first say "there's no chance the child's anyone elses" then afteer the DNA results "well I thought it was yours!!!!!"

gangaman

I've been reading this thread with interest and some emotion. I am in a similar situation, and have been paying for my son for 12 years, currently at the rate of £520 per month. I have known almost from the start that it is likely that I am not his biological father although I am named on the birth certificate and have PR.

I drive 300 miles round trip every other weekend to see him and we speak everyday on the telephone. There is no doubt I am his father and he is my son. I don't care who the biological father is, nor do I wish to know. My feelings toward his mother are ambivalent.

I could no more risk my relationship with him than fly to the moon. Of course the £40k plus would make a great deal of difference to my life were it refunded but not as much impact as it would have on my son.

For me parenthood is not about biology, it is about commitment, consistency, but most of all love. I detest the CSA not for what they do but for how they do it, but I would give all I have and more to ensure my son approach adulthood in a secure and supportive way as possible. When the time is right he and I will have this conversation and it will be about relationships not the cost of them.

LizzieS_2

gangaman wrote: »

I've been reading this thread with interest and some emotion. I am in a similar situation, and have been paying for my son for 12 years, currently at the rate of £520 per month. I have known almost from the start that it is likely that I am not his biological father although I am named on the birth certificate and have PR.

I drive 300 miles round trip every other weekend to see him and we speak everyday on the telephone. There is no doubt I am his father and he is my son. I don't care who the biological father is, nor do I wish to know. My feelings toward his mother are ambivalent.

I could no more risk my relationship with him than fly to the moon. Of course the £40k plus would make a great deal of difference to my life were it refunded but not as much impact as it would have on my son.

For me parenthood is not about biology, it is about commitment, consistency, but most of all love. I detest the CSA not for what they do but for how they do it, but I would give all I have and more to ensure my son approach adulthood in a secure and supportive way as possible. When the time is right he and I will have this conversation and it will be about relationships not the cost of them.

Very refreshing point of view. You truely are a proper dad in all senses of the word.

PS. I understand also understand those who want to continue a relationship with a child who is not theirs, but don't want to be held to financial obligations they legally haven't got.

colonelblighty

when I found out the truth about my son, my ex- decided that contact would stop despite me saying I wanted to carry on seeing and having my boy.

Ganagaman is very lucky to have an ex that does not appear to cause contact problems, for myself my ex even before the revelation of true parentage made things extremely difficult for me to maintain contact and after the truth came out impossible.

I have a contact order that is technically still enforceable but what nobody seems to tell you is that to someone who is unwilling to comply with the details of the order there is very little you can do. Oh you can go to court to have it enforced but the question is how exactly are they enforced. Do you really think a court is going to jail someone for not complying with a contact order. I don't think so.